[Traditional Enneagram] How do you feel about your disintegration point?

[badger055]

I like disentegrating to 1 it breaks the delusional 7 fantasy and I can actually do work.

 

[NK258]

I don't like it. However it has preceded breaking points of self awareness in the past. The last time I felt I was going in that direction, I distracted myself as best I could before confronting the issue head on (minus the complete disintegration). I do however think it's healthy for someone to become more self aware and introspective if they've the propensity for that to begin with. To be honest, my disintegration point is an 8 and it feels completely off, I get more confused and in pain internally though outwardly I appear like a jerk face.

 

[Showbread]

I'm not a fan. I feel I like I primarily have the more negative characteristics of an 8... I get short tempered, confrontational, and insensitive.

It's interesting because I live with an 8w7. And when I start to disintegrate/get stressed out we do NOT get a long.

 

[valaki]

If you disintegrate enough, do you become the next in the disintegration line?

I wondered about that question myself. What do others think?

For the most part I like type 7's. The 7's I know are fun to be around, have a great sense of humor, and don't take life too seriously. On the downside, I don't like 7's when they are unhealthy and end up being unreliable, or overly impulsive and deny all problems.

Do you ever get like that if you're a 5 disintegrating?

I don't like it. However it has preceded breaking points of self awareness in the past. The last time I felt I was going in that direction, I distracted myself as best I could before confronting the issue head on (minus the complete disintegration). I do however think it's healthy for someone to become more self aware and introspective if they've the propensity for that to begin with. To be honest, my disintegration point is an 8 and it feels completely off, I get more confused and in pain internally though outwardly I appear like a jerk face.

Why does it feel "completely off" and confusing?

I'm not a fan. I feel I like I primarily have the more negative characteristics of an 8... I get short tempered, confrontational, and insensitive.

It's interesting because I live with an 8w7. And when I start to disintegrate/get stressed out we do NOT get a long.

Haha I imagined that now...


As for original topic

Disintegration sounds like it's supposed to be unpleasant, but do you feel a paradoxical liking for your disintegration point? Do you feel tempted to slip into it just because you think it's more effective or easy or attractive than your integration point? Do you tend to like or dislike people who are the same enneagram as your disintegration point?

I'm supposed to disintegrate into 5. Yes I've had some liking for some 5-ish stuff. I don't however like it *that* much overall.

It's effective to an extent, sure, if I get into new knowledge that then I can use. It can give a lot of power really. Also a deeper view of the world, maybe. That can feel rewarding too.

Now for the negative; too much 5 feels like it's killing me. No longer alive, no longer connected to the world, just meh. It's not attractive at all.

The period of my life where I was really 5-ish about a decade ago, it was me partially recovering from some issue, regaining some of my energy and learning a new language, which later certainly helped me a lot (the language knowledge I mean). So I guess I got out of it with a certain balance of results, part negative (some 5-ish issues that stayed for a while afterwards), part positive (the language).

I don't have a problem with 5's in general, I think. I know someone who types as 5 and we get along really well (she's got 8 too a lot though. I sometimes wonder if she's just disintegrated lol).

 

[NK258]

[MENTION=20622]valaki[/MENTION] because it's not me.

 

[valaki]

[MENTION=20622]valaki[/MENTION] because it's not me.

split personality? lol

 

[á´…eparted]

I've disentegrated to 4 at several times in my life. It's terrible, I hate it, and I hate admitting it too. I become really shitty to be around as well and I try and avoid others as much as possible so they don't have to deal with me. I try and hide as hard as I can because it is really one of the last ways I would ever want to be seen in. It's worse too because I more or less become something I despise in others; a mopey inconsolible mess seeing nothing but doooooooom with no hope of rescue and is completely incapable of doing anything productive and refuses to help themselves but pretends that they are to garner sympathy. Godbless the poor soul who tries to help, because it won't.

 

[NK258]

split personality? lol

Lol! .. no. Just not me as in stressed and out of balance. Not who I want to be. Not the me that is (and has been) a constant throughout my life. If that makes any sense. Not so sure myself. Scary. Lol!

 

[valaki]

Lol! .. no. Just not me as in stressed and out of balance. Not who I want to be. Not the me that is (and has been) a constant throughout my life. If that makes any sense. Not so sure myself. Scary. Lol!

OK I see I guess you have a very strong sense of self identity

 

[NK258]

OK I see I guess you have a very strong sense of self identity

Well, I know who I want to be. Not sure if that's the same but, either way, I work towards being healthy and happy and so it's only natural to despise my disintegrated self.

 

[WhoCares]

I dont like disintegrating to 7, it makes me feel like a hamster on the wheel. No purpose. I also dislike clutter intensely and the variety seeking of seven feels like mental clutter to me. I am much happier when I can focus in something in depth.

 

[LadyLazarus]

I really hate my disintegration into 2,I've only been there once a few years ago for about two years.Nowadays,it embarrasses me recalling how clingy and needy I used to be.

 

[misfortuneteller]

It is like the worst thing ever for me, honestly. Imagine the typical chill 9 turning into a paranoid wreck that is drowning in their overthinking. I honestly wish that I could be a 6 sometimes, just so I could have their disintegration process. I'd love for it to not be hard for me to be active since i'm genuinely trying to combat my sloth.

 

[Virtual ghost]

It makes me dubt if I am trully 5. I could actually pass as 3,1 or chronically desitegrated 8 that weren't rised by western standards. (but that is debate without end)
However I have reasonable doubts that fear isn't my main motivator.

 

[neko 4]

I usually get along well with Twos.

 

[LucieCat]

Disintegrating to E3 feels very icky. It's a terrible place to be.

However, Enneagram 3 individuals are just fine though. I just can't syabd myself when I'm in that unhealthy headspace.

 

[Tilt]

Lethargic, everything feels too hard to do. Disintegration to e9.

 

[misfortuneteller]

Lethargic, everything feels too hard to do. Disintegration to e9.

Are you willing to elaborate on that more? I have a 3 dad that has disintegrated a lot recently but I don't know what it is like from a 3's actual perspective.

 

[Tilt]

Are you willing to elaborate on that more? I have a 3 dad that has disintegrated a lot recently but I don't know what it is like from a 3's actual perspective.

Sure. It's sort of like feeling that you know need to do stuff, but you just feel so burnt out that you tune out and do mindless things to avoid dealing with the real issue. For example, I made it a goal to sleep with X number of men in a year and then kept upping it just to keep avoiding things. So in some ways, I felt like I was accomplishing something even though deep down, I knew it didn't truly add anything to my long-term goals.

It doesn't have to be sex... emphasis on mindless activities to escape and rationalizing how it's beneficial. Other things can include bingeing on NetFlix, avoiding dealing with problems, sleeping a lot, low energy.... kind of like a "false sense of calmness and eerily relaxed" before things are about to blow up.

This probably explains why I have a hard time being around really passive, unmotivated 9s... it ironically makes me feel stuck.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

I hate it. I hate 6's almost as much as I hate 1's.