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  1. #21
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    My relationship with my integration point is interesting, because not only is it also in my tritype, but it is VERY highly developed in my tritype, to the point that some forum members think I'm a closet 7.

    What I like about it, is that it calms down my 1 standards. It doesn't lower those standards, but it keeps me from suffocating under the weight of my own moral code. What I don't like about it is that it makes me far more easily distracted than I should be. Less productive, less willing to complete tasks that aren't "fun".

    As for 7s themselves: I like them. They're fun and refreshing and balance me out well. I think I get along naturally well with people who have 7 somewhere in their tritype -- though probably better with people who are 7 second or third, and not first.
    Last edited by EJCC; 08-11-2013 at 03:48 PM.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  2. #22
    Anew Leaf
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    I am of two minds and unsound body about such a contraption of becoming one with being a one. Too many ones I encounter are prissy prim fussbudgets and I am not a fan of that. But if it means that I get to walk softly and carry a nice big stick, then so be it. A one I shall be!

  3. #23
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    I've come to like my integration point of 1. I think a healthy 4 is quite a beautiful thing because our 1-ness has a deep root in knowing, living and accepting the flaws, scars and pain of 4. We've experienced deep agony and darkness, and so make judgments with that in mind. It's like the ultimate loving truth. Since 4's are pretty cuttingly honest with themselves, I believe we are also not susceptible to the self righteous blindness that 1s are.

    This however, is exactly why I do have issues with 1s sometimes-- their legalism, strictness and black and white vision does not have the same back-story and roots that I do as a healthy 4. There's nothing to temper or bring them down to earth. I do know individual 1s that I respect and like, but those individuals have tempered their serious 1-ness with a healthy dose of fun loving 7.

    All this integration stuff makes so much sense, huh.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  4. #24
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    I was actually thinking of starting a thread like this but you've saved me the trouble, so thanks.

    As I said to you last night, I don't really like the idea of 3s. The prospect of integrating to 3 also seems quite distasteful to me because they're so frequently portrayed as shallow, disingenuous, and narcissistic. However, cultivating better self-worth and a genuine interest in achievement is probably very good advice for most 9s. I've enjoyed being integrated whenever I've been integrated. It's quite liberating.

    I can't think of any 3s I'm personally close to. The closest I can think of is a college friend with a strong 3 fix but I'm not convinced its her primary type. I didn't find her presence empowering or anything. Mostly, I just felt sorry for her because she was struggling with so many expectations and wanted so many things without being sure if she wanted them. I don't know, getting to a place where you've accomplished and acquired all this stuff and still maybe feeling kinda hollow inside and like there's still something missing sounds awful. I feel a lot of sympathy for people in that place even though I dislike what they pursue.

    I think I'd have a hard time getting myself to like a 3 at first but once I'd managed to do it, things would be smoother. In contrast, I find it easier to like 6s but the longterm relationship is much more bumpy because their anxiety rubs off on me and I find myself thinking the same way. I have actual experience with 6s though, and none with 3s.
    I think that I can usually spot a 9 irl because of the type of inner desires they hold.

    For example my ex is a nine...he's a hard worker an gets the job done whatever it is ( as long as its required...dont ask him to do chores...) lol

    However if u were to ask him what he really wants to do with his life...he wants to be in a band.

    That right there assures me hes a nine because his deepest desire is to be seen...

    As opposed to unseen...like a nine thinks they r.

    Same thing with my dad...he always wanted to be a stand up comedian and is obsessed with movies and acting.

    In any case most nines dont like the sounds of a 3 because then they'd seem vain...

    I dont think that a nines integration is "vain" i think they just want to seen more in comparison to how they've blending in for so long.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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  5. #25
    WALMART
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    Threes are a vital part of society, and a vital part of myself, if I am ever to find my plateau to nestle upon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    However when I'm able to find inner peace and bring peace to others around me, I feel fullfilled.

    I feel like I have ultimate power...and that appeals to the Te/Ni
    Forreal. And interesting about what you posted just above.

  6. #26
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    I've come to like my integration point of 1. I think a healthy 4 is quite a beautiful thing because our 1-ness has a deep root in knowing, living and accepting the flaws, scars and pain of 4. We've experienced deep agony and darkness, and so make judgments with that in mind. It's like the ultimate loving truth. Since 4's are pretty cuttingly honest with themselves, I believe we are also not susceptible to the self righteous blindness that 1s are.

    This however, is exactly why I do have issues with 1s sometimes-- their legalism, strictness and black and white vision does not have the same back-story and roots that I do as a healthy 4. There's nothing to temper or bring them down to earth. I do know individual 1s that I respect and like, but those individuals have tempered their serious 1-ness with a healthy dose of fun loving 7.

    All this integration stuff makes so much sense, huh.
    Nicely said.

    This is why I feel less resistance to integration than I have in the past (or stuff I would associate with ME growing positively as a person). I've resisted what I saw as an inner goody-good because it seemed so dull & dispassionate. But I see now it can really help me reach the potential I'm always lamenting I have wasted. And I have a great respect for positive 1 qualities, as far as consistency, integrity, and activity goes.

    As for actual 1s, I agree that when they have some obvious 7 traits (& even at average levels they will), then they can be rather likable. But when they get priggish and self-righteous and nit-picky, then I can't stand them. I think I fear something like that in myself, but you're right, the 4 "back-story" makes you less inclined to develop that side of the 1.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #27
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i agree with oa in thinking that there is a sense of turning the corner when you can fully see the positive qualities of your integration type without feeling so much internal resistance to them.

    for me as a 5 incorporating an 8 shadow, that takes shape for me in feeling my own body, letting go of my own sense of smallness and hoarding qualities in favor of a magnanimity that can truly express its own power through the process of generating, of being generous, for oneself and others, and learning to take more direct responsibility of my own appetites rather than simply trying to deny them or using them as a way to feel grounded compulsively and without awareness.

    it also has to do with learning the rules of anger, the practices for working with it, so i can stay more engaged with the reactions i've been having all along even as i've been sublimating my experience of them into a form of anxiety rather than staying with the intensity and raw power of the experience directly, physically, in the core of my body. so that when others feel out of control for me, that does not mean that i feel out of control, because my mentalization of experience has reduced my boundaries to paper thin walls. to instead feel strong enough to compete and accept the outcomes of that process of competing, to express and accept the outcomes of that expressing, creates a naturalness that being so stuck in your head prevents you from embracing, the power of your own body and your physical potential to do work and to influence the world around you.

  8. #28
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    There was once a thread about matching up one's own cognitive functions with enneagram types. I remember choosing 9 for my Fi and 3 for my Te.

    I think that sort of explains the tension I feel between the two.

  9. #29
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    And, no, I don't like 2s.
    whatever happened to "loving fiercely?"

    which i thought was a willingness to open up oneself to truly identify with the other's experience, to submit your will to your own care for their experience at times as much or more than your own, to let go of what you could not control in favor of your own inherent belief in your capacity to love that arises when you allow yourself to truly enter and be entered by another person emotionally? captured so perfectly in the beach house record "devotion" i kept talking about? to transfer that sense of power and magnanimity as an 8 into a commitment and dedication to serving an emotional truth that was bigger than you?

    also, i don't like 2s either.

  10. #30
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    There was once a thread about matching up one's own cognitive functions with enneagram types. I remember choosing 9 for my Fi and 3 for my Te.

    I think that sort of explains the tension I feel between the two.
    I tend to see Te as embodied in e1 (and ESTJs are heavily associated with that type; more so than e8 which has closely ties to ESTP & ENTJ), and of course I experience being 4 as very Fi. When you look at how types are often correlated to the functions, there are a lot of parallels with integration & the inferior functions.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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