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Do You Like Your Integration Point?

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
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My relationship with my integration point is interesting, because not only is it also in my tritype, but it is VERY highly developed in my tritype, to the point that some forum members think I'm a closet 7.

What I like about it, is that it calms down my 1 standards. It doesn't lower those standards, but it keeps me from suffocating under the weight of my own moral code. What I don't like about it is that it makes me far more easily distracted than I should be. Less productive, less willing to complete tasks that aren't "fun".

As for 7s themselves: I like them. They're fun and refreshing and balance me out well. I think I get along naturally well with people who have 7 somewhere in their tritype -- though probably better with people who are 7 second or third, and not first.
 
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A

Anew Leaf

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I am of two minds and unsound body about such a contraption of becoming one with being a one. Too many ones I encounter are prissy prim fussbudgets and I am not a fan of that. But if it means that I get to walk softly and carry a nice big stick, then so be it. A one I shall be!
 

small.wonder

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I've come to like my integration point of 1. I think a healthy 4 is quite a beautiful thing because our 1-ness has a deep root in knowing, living and accepting the flaws, scars and pain of 4. We've experienced deep agony and darkness, and so make judgments with that in mind. It's like the ultimate loving truth. Since 4's are pretty cuttingly honest with themselves, I believe we are also not susceptible to the self righteous blindness that 1s are.

This however, is exactly why I do have issues with 1s sometimes-- their legalism, strictness and black and white vision does not have the same back-story and roots that I do as a healthy 4. There's nothing to temper or bring them down to earth. I do know individual 1s that I respect and like, but those individuals have tempered their serious 1-ness with a healthy dose of fun loving 7. :)

All this integration stuff makes so much sense, huh. :D
 

Evo

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I was actually thinking of starting a thread like this but you've saved me the trouble, so thanks. :D

As I said to you last night, I don't really like the idea of 3s. The prospect of integrating to 3 also seems quite distasteful to me because they're so frequently portrayed as shallow, disingenuous, and narcissistic. However, cultivating better self-worth and a genuine interest in achievement is probably very good advice for most 9s. I've enjoyed being integrated whenever I've been integrated. It's quite liberating.

I can't think of any 3s I'm personally close to. The closest I can think of is a college friend with a strong 3 fix but I'm not convinced its her primary type. I didn't find her presence empowering or anything. Mostly, I just felt sorry for her because she was struggling with so many expectations and wanted so many things without being sure if she wanted them. I don't know, getting to a place where you've accomplished and acquired all this stuff and still maybe feeling kinda hollow inside and like there's still something missing sounds awful. I feel a lot of sympathy for people in that place even though I dislike what they pursue.

I think I'd have a hard time getting myself to like a 3 at first but once I'd managed to do it, things would be smoother. In contrast, I find it easier to like 6s but the longterm relationship is much more bumpy because their anxiety rubs off on me and I find myself thinking the same way. I have actual experience with 6s though, and none with 3s.

I think that I can usually spot a 9 irl because of the type of inner desires they hold.

For example my ex is a nine...he's a hard worker an gets the job done whatever it is ( as long as its required...dont ask him to do chores...) lol

However if u were to ask him what he really wants to do with his life...he wants to be in a band.

That right there assures me hes a nine because his deepest desire is to be seen...

As opposed to unseen...like a nine thinks they r.

Same thing with my dad...he always wanted to be a stand up comedian and is obsessed with movies and acting.

In any case most nines dont like the sounds of a 3 because then they'd seem vain...

I dont think that a nines integration is "vain" i think they just want to seen more in comparison to how they've blending in for so long. ;)
 
W

WALMART

Guest
Threes are a vital part of society, and a vital part of myself, if I am ever to find my plateau to nestle upon.

However when I'm able to find inner peace and bring peace to others around me, I feel fullfilled.

I feel like I have ultimate power...and that appeals to the Te/Ni :)

Forreal. And interesting about what you posted just above.
 

OrangeAppled

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I've come to like my integration point of 1. I think a healthy 4 is quite a beautiful thing because our 1-ness has a deep root in knowing, living and accepting the flaws, scars and pain of 4. We've experienced deep agony and darkness, and so make judgments with that in mind. It's like the ultimate loving truth. Since 4's are pretty cuttingly honest with themselves, I believe we are also not susceptible to the self righteous blindness that 1s are.

This however, is exactly why I do have issues with 1s sometimes-- their legalism, strictness and black and white vision does not have the same back-story and roots that I do as a healthy 4. There's nothing to temper or bring them down to earth. I do know individual 1s that I respect and like, but those individuals have tempered their serious 1-ness with a healthy dose of fun loving 7. :)

All this integration stuff makes so much sense, huh. :D

Nicely said.

This is why I feel less resistance to integration than I have in the past (or stuff I would associate with ME growing positively as a person). I've resisted what I saw as an inner goody-good because it seemed so dull & dispassionate. But I see now it can really help me reach the potential I'm always lamenting I have wasted. And I have a great respect for positive 1 qualities, as far as consistency, integrity, and activity goes.

As for actual 1s, I agree that when they have some obvious 7 traits (& even at average levels they will), then they can be rather likable. But when they get priggish and self-righteous and nit-picky, then I can't stand them. I think I fear something like that in myself, but you're right, the 4 "back-story" makes you less inclined to develop that side of the 1.
 

the state i am in

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i agree with oa in thinking that there is a sense of turning the corner when you can fully see the positive qualities of your integration type without feeling so much internal resistance to them.

for me as a 5 incorporating an 8 shadow, that takes shape for me in feeling my own body, letting go of my own sense of smallness and hoarding qualities in favor of a magnanimity that can truly express its own power through the process of generating, of being generous, for oneself and others, and learning to take more direct responsibility of my own appetites rather than simply trying to deny them or using them as a way to feel grounded compulsively and without awareness.

it also has to do with learning the rules of anger, the practices for working with it, so i can stay more engaged with the reactions i've been having all along even as i've been sublimating my experience of them into a form of anxiety rather than staying with the intensity and raw power of the experience directly, physically, in the core of my body. so that when others feel out of control for me, that does not mean that i feel out of control, because my mentalization of experience has reduced my boundaries to paper thin walls. to instead feel strong enough to compete and accept the outcomes of that process of competing, to express and accept the outcomes of that expressing, creates a naturalness that being so stuck in your head prevents you from embracing, the power of your own body and your physical potential to do work and to influence the world around you.
 
0

011235813

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There was once a thread about matching up one's own cognitive functions with enneagram types. I remember choosing 9 for my Fi and 3 for my Te.

I think that sort of explains the tension I feel between the two.
 

the state i am in

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And, no, I don't like 2s.

whatever happened to "loving fiercely?" :D

which i thought was a willingness to open up oneself to truly identify with the other's experience, to submit your will to your own care for their experience at times as much or more than your own, to let go of what you could not control in favor of your own inherent belief in your capacity to love that arises when you allow yourself to truly enter and be entered by another person emotionally? captured so perfectly in the beach house record "devotion" i kept talking about? to transfer that sense of power and magnanimity as an 8 into a commitment and dedication to serving an emotional truth that was bigger than you?

also, i don't like 2s either. ;)
 

OrangeAppled

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There was once a thread about matching up one's own cognitive functions with enneagram types. I remember choosing 9 for my Fi and 3 for my Te.

I think that sort of explains the tension I feel between the two.

I tend to see Te as embodied in e1 (and ESTJs are heavily associated with that type; more so than e8 which has closely ties to ESTP & ENTJ), and of course I experience being 4 as very Fi. When you look at how types are often correlated to the functions, there are a lot of parallels with integration & the inferior functions.
 

Typh0n

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I like the idea of type one, so much that I would sometimes like to be one.
 

violet_crown

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whatever happened to "loving fiercely?" :D

which i thought was a willingness to open up oneself to truly identify with the other's experience, to submit your will to your own care for their experience at times as much or more than your own, to let go of what you could not control in favor of your own inherent belief in your capacity to love that arises when you allow yourself to truly enter and be entered by another person emotionally? captured so perfectly in the beach house record "devotion" i kept talking about? to transfer that sense of power and magnanimity as an 8 into a commitment and dedication to serving an emotional truth that was bigger than you?

also, i don't like 2s either. ;)

Beautiful. :)

Perhaps a restatement is in order. There's equal measures of fear and awe for that place which you're describing. It makes me a bit fanatical, I guess. Those that evoke the trappings of intimacy for the personal over the perfectly interpenetrated are so hateful to me. I see it in the average 2 and in a lot of what's worst about the EFP tribe (it's never, ever meant to be about you). It's the ease with which they access that space. That careless ease. Can you blame me for hating them a little?

But, no, I've never lost the faith.
 

violet_crown

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whatever happened to "loving fiercely?" :D

which i thought was a willingness to open up oneself to truly identify with the other's experience, to submit your will to your own care for their experience at times as much or more than your own, to let go of what you could not control in favor of your own inherent belief in your capacity to love that arises when you allow yourself to truly enter and be entered by another person emotionally? captured so perfectly in the beach house record "devotion" i kept talking about? to transfer that sense of power and magnanimity as an 8 into a commitment and dedication to serving an emotional truth that was bigger than you?

also, i don't like 2s either. ;)

Beautiful. :)

Perhaps a restatement is in order. There's equal measures of fear and awe for that place which you're describing. It makes me a bit fanatical, I guess. Those that evoke the trappings of intimacy for the personal over the perfectly interpenetrated are so hateful to me. I see it in the average 2 and in a lot of what's worst about the EFP tribe (it's never, ever meant to be about you). It's the ease with which they access that space. That careless ease. Can you blame me for hating them a little?

But, no, I've never lost the faith.
 

small.wonder

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Nicely said.

This is why I feel less resistance to integration than I have in the past (or stuff I would associate with ME growing positively as a person). I've resisted what I saw as an inner goody-good because it seemed so dull & dispassionate. But I see now it can really help me reach the potential I'm always lamenting I have wasted. And I have a great respect for positive 1 qualities, as far as consistency, integrity, and activity goes.

As for actual 1s, I agree that when they have some obvious 7 traits (& even at average levels they will), then they can be rather likable. But when they get priggish and self-righteous and nit-picky, then I can't stand them. I think I fear something like that in myself, but you're right, the 4 "back-story" makes you less inclined to develop that side of the 1.

Thanks! I think you're right to have a bit of healthy fear of the negative side of 1, that's kind of what prevents us from behaving that way I think. The positive 1 qualities are really what's helped me be able to share my art, expressiveness, inquisitiveness and character with people. I spent many years (as you said) frustrated over how much potential and ability I had that was going to waste. It wasn't until I started doing some work on my heart and my past, that I started growing the more pro-active, motivated qualities of 1. I actually think some of that came from engaging with people, telling my story and seeing how it helped to heal myself and others simultaneously. That's kind of the coolest thing about optimized 4's, our quest for deep truth and authenticity is fulfilled in the ability to see just that (and call it out too)! 1's see Right, 4's see Truth-- in my opinion anyway.

...and of course I experience being 4 as very Fi. When you look at how types are often correlated to the functions, there are a lot of parallels with integration & the inferior functions.

I am still not even a little knowledgeable about this stuff, but in my reading I could never figure out whether I leaned more toward Fi or Fe. Could you expand on why being a 4 feels very Fi to you? If that's a dumb question just say so. ;)
 

_eric_

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Can't say that I like any 3's, nor can I say that the traits/motivations of that type are anything that I desire in myself because they are directly opposing to how I am. It is also always one of my lowest scores when I test--along with 7 and 8--all of which are at ~20%, +/- ~10% depending on the test and when I've taken it.
 

the state i am in

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Perhaps a restatement is in order. There's equal measures of fear and awe for that place which you're describing. It makes me a bit fanatical, I guess. Those that evoke the trappings of intimacy for the personal over the perfectly interpenetrated are so hateful to me. I see it in the average 2 and in a lot of what's worst about the EFP tribe (it's never, ever meant to be about you). It's the ease with which they access that space. That careless ease. Can you blame me for hating them a little?

i really like this. as a four wing, i feel a laziness at times with respect to truly feeling my way into the tension between the personal and the perfectly interpenetrated, as you say. you just throw something over, carelessly, or pull something to your side, that isn't yours and isn't really skillful yet because you haven't allowed yourself to focus your awareness on your own feelings, the other's position, and the balance between the two, the contextual space encompassing where you can truly relate.

i notice the 2 side often doesn't feel themselves. the 4 side often tends to cling to themselves so violently that they lose their sense of connection, and ultimately their only potential source of balance for their awareness to ground itself in something beyond its own black hole of a past, it's own interior without awareness of what is happening outside of it, almost total disconnection, just gravity that cannot see itself any more because it has enshrouded itself in its own darkness. in either overreaction, it's so easy to get off track. it's so easy to lose the interrelated elements of the situation.

when 4s get really snarky and awful, so much of the time it's because of that 2 stress point acting up. the sense of connection gets clouded. they hate you because they are identifying with the worst of you. they hate you because they hate themselves and they hate themselves because they hate you. there's no process kneading the identification, the kind of knot, away, towards the ends, unraveling to recognize the polarity of the interaction. to fully own one's own feelings requires an openness to the world to be real. so it's not really at all relational at that point. it's fixed, and that kind of rigidity just creates further damage when it comes to one's own emotional life and the relationships that constitute it, that need balancing and adaptation and softness/looseness amidst that huge weave of competing connections, rather than solely relying control, because that doesn't foster a relational sense of well-being. it doesn't really build trust, or a sense of self that is fluid enough and adaptive enough to let go of itself either, which at times is clearly necessary and beneficial because it creates space for possible change, and is something relationships can't function without.
 

Huhuu

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Do you enjoy the idea of your integration point? Do you tend to like people who are the same type as your integration point? Do you enjoy being integrated or being "healthy"?

Seriously, no I don't like my integration type. Type 7s actually often annoy me. There's something in type 7 that I deep down long for, being bold, spontaneous and "free", but I also disapprove such things strongly since my point of view in general is very very different, life just doesn't go like that. I think people must take certain things seriously, plan ahead and take responsibility no matter what and usually I like all that very much but just sometimes I get tired of it and wish I could just "be" and let it all be for a while.
 

Such Irony

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Type 8's tend to intimidate me. They seem too prone to overconfidence and also get angered too easily. I tend to have more trouble getting along with type 8 than any other type. I do like some level of confidence and assertiveness but in the 8's that I've known, they come on too strong for my comfort. I prefer interacting with more low-key and laid-back people. Some of the 8's are not very healthy ones and if I knew more healthy 8's my attitude towards them might be more positive.
 
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