Please help me understand my girlfriend's type. I'm pretty sure she's an INFP, but I'm unsure if she's a well-developed 4 that looks like a 9 or...a 9? I'm recruiting my special army of experts: @OrangeAppled, @Lady X, @Marmotini, @Mane, @prplchknz, @fia, @Tiltyred, @Southern Kross, @Nijntje, @21%, @Thursday
OK, some things:
- she's a writer, and she started writing because she wanted to be recognized as special and an artist, when she was younger...she also went through stages where she wanted to be an actress to be recognised for her beauty and sensual energy etc....
- but now she's more resigned and often wonders if it's worth it all, because "in the end we'll all going to die..." etc, and that maybe it would be easier to have a more secure career as an arts critic etc
- she really likes the upbeat energy and the motivation, that I bring, and when we met I think I stroke her ego because I really liked her texts. she says I give her strength and a purpose in life..i help her create
- she's much more balanced than me. when we met i was given "rules" that we couldn't talk or see each other everyday because she really needed her space etc
- but after just a couple of months it all changed and she became the more dependent one in the couple, i feel
- she's very physical, she needs hugging and kind words everyday, all the time
- she doesn't like arguments and is known in her group of friends as the peacemaker
- she wants a relationship that is calm and peaceful (i'm the opposite, i like drama and once in a while i try to stir shit up in our relationship so that we can discuss what has been under the surface..and start again, more authentically)
- the few times i've seen her crossed she gets really panicky....starts telling me what to do, has opinions about everything, will be completely all over the place with Te (which then leads me to lose my patience because i'm not in a zen state anymore, so then my Te comes in in full force and I sort shit out)
- she doesn't have a stable life, she doesn't care about material security and her only wishes are to travel a lot and be in peace with her soulmate...
- but at the same time she doesn't like change, you absolutely need to give her some time before coming up with a new plan, because it needs to marinate in her mind (she will hardly do something last minute)
- she doesn't go through emotional roller coasters during the day, she's quite stable emotionally
- she tells me that she used to crave emotional meaning and suffering in relationships etc in the past (but she's completely not like that now)....she had a million lovers and strange stories etc...can someone's enneagram change with time?
- she's very attached to her family and their emotional and physical well-being
- she's very motherly in a way....likes to cook, show you affection, worries about your physical safety and your emotional balance...sometimes she would like to almost disappear because you become the reference point
- but she's not passive either...very strong willed and has a very clear personality and very strong tastes, in the arts and lifestyle in general
- she has a big ego and will make fun of you if you don't know the obscure references and writers she does etc
- in fact she's afraid of disappearing in the other person....that's what scares her in relationships the most (for instance, that's not mine...i'm not sure what my fear is...maybe losing my freedom...)
- she's the worst ever with cleaning, with organization, with super ego in general. horrid, she's a total id creature roaming around. but she likes being told what to do, being guided, she will do everything if you give her rules etc (which is really stressful for me, because i hate bossing people around)
- if we're out with friends she almost looks like an ENFP...she's brilliant, smiling and intelligent, but calm and collected...she tries to lure people in using her charms and seduction
- she's great with social cues and giving people what they want (and helps me in that sense, because i like people but i'm oblivious to what is socially acceptable) but she wasn't always like this and has told me that the social aspect of life used to cause her a lot of pain..not being understood, not being given space as an individual etc...so now she just "learned the rules" and puts on a show when we're out, so to speak
- doesn't like sports and it not very good with being in contact with the physical space of her body. is trying yoga.
- spends a lot of time daydreaming, playing out roles, in fantasyland. we have a lot of characters in out relationship, i'm like 5 different things and she 3...and we have fun with that LMAO
This is what I can think of at the moment. Please ask away if you have any questions. Thanks so much ....I've thought about a 479 tritype for her...or 279?
PS: I'm also trying to decide if I'm sx/so or sx/sp. I have very balanced wings. If you can get clues from what i wrote, then it would be great, thanks so much