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  1. #41
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    The way you describe her sounds like a 9 with a 4-fix.
    oh god bring me a knife.... i dont understand the enneagram, i want to cry

    @Lady X she might start wanting to kill me, because i already asked her to take 2 tests, and she's basically only doing it for myself, and begrudgingly because she doesn't believe in personality theories (and says the tests are very shallow, and i have to say, in this she's completely right)

  2. #42
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    oh god bring me a knife.... i dont understand the enneagram, i want to cry

    @Lady X she might start wanting to kill me, because i already asked her to take 2 tests, and she's basically only doing it for myself, and begrudgingly because she doesn't believe in personality theories (and says the tests are very shallow, and i have to say, in this she's completely right)
    she is yes...but from the outside one could see a set of behaviors and read them one way...but knowing their type gives you further understanding of the underlying motivations which can be so useful...as you know..

    i mean...i used to think my bf was so/sp but he's sp/sx which honestly helped us get to a point of truer understanding of what's going on...i mean...just the conversations that surrounded that topic...so hopefully she'll get that it's just out of love that you want to explore her deeply in this way...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #43
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    she is yes...but from the outside one could see a set of behaviors and read them one way...but knowing their type gives you further understanding of the underlying motivations which can be so useful...as you know..

    i mean...i used to think my bf was so/sp but he's sp/sx which honestly helped us get to a point of truer understanding of what's going on...i mean...just the conversations that surrounded that topic...so hopefully she'll get that it's just out of love that you want to explore her deeply in this way...
    yeah i agree with what you're saying, that's my goal too. but now i've decided that until i dont understand how the enneagram works and what defines the types, i'm not going to bother her more with this

  4. #44
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    sure...that's fair too...maybe just leave it all out then and just have discussions about things you feel you don't understand.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #45
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    I think she sounds like an IxFP 4w5 (that's why she seems so "emotionally stable" and "detached" with needing all this alone time...it's not because she's a nine, its the five wing).

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    i agree with sx but i dont with so. her sp is pretty strong, stronger than mine.

    - she won't leave the house if it's a bit cold of rainy (i dont give a shit)
    - she's the one that worries about the health of what we eat and likes to go shopping for food everyday (i just stock the house every week)
    - she's normally the one who cooks
    - she's very sensitive to her body sensations (si?) and has a very sensitive stomach, is always complaining about her sensations etc
    - she always wants to be in the house, while often i want to get out
    - if we're out she will get tired after 1 hour or 2. she's very balanced and cannot be outside for a long time without complaining that she needs to rest
    - she's always the one worrying about "stupid" things like "it's too bright let's close the shutters" or "close that window or we'll get sick" or "we are not drinking enough water, it's important to be hydrated" or "don't go out without taking a scarf or you'll get a cold"
    - she's also the one who's more into the aesthetics of the house...i dont give a shit
    - interestingly, she has no concerns over money

    If it wasn't for me, i think we would almost never leave the house. i like to see my friends more often than she does...she'll meet like 1 person once a week, and that's it. she's totally fine just being the 2 of us.
    I thought sx/sp or sp/sx for her from your initial post. I don't see so at all.

    The ...errr...huge ego probably comes from being both a 4 and an Fi type.

    Also sexual dominants tend to come across that way. All of my sx dom exes were "superstars" in their own minds, and I'm the same way.

    The only sx dom person I haven't seen act this way is the ISxJ 5w4 sx/sp I was describing in another thread, but he's quietly pretentious and snooty.

  7. #47
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    i agree with sx but i dont with so. her sp is pretty strong, stronger than mine.

    - she won't leave the house if it's a bit cold of rainy (i dont give a shit)
    - she's the one that worries about the health of what we eat and likes to go shopping for food everyday (i just stock the house every week)
    - she's normally the one who cooks
    - she's very sensitive to her body sensations (si?) and has a very sensitive stomach, is always complaining about her sensations etc
    - she always wants to be in the house, while often i want to get out
    - if we're out she will get tired after 1 hour or 2. she's very balanced and cannot be outside for a long time without complaining that she needs to rest
    - she's always the one worrying about "stupid" things like "it's too bright let's close the shutters" or "close that window or we'll get sick" or "we are not drinking enough water, it's important to be hydrated" or "don't go out without taking a scarf or you'll get a cold"
    - she's also the one who's more into the aesthetics of the house...i dont give a shit
    - interestingly, she has no concerns over money

    If it wasn't for me, i think we would almost never leave the house. i like to see my friends more often than she does...she'll meet like 1 person once a week, and that's it. she's totally fine just being the 2 of us.
    As an sp-dom 4 INFP, none of the bolded would apply to me; too much focus on practical stuff. Sometimes I think about eating healthy out of vanity & cuz of my GERD (which I left undiagnosed for years; I like to go the "ignore it til it goes away" route until i see it's not going away).

    That's not rally how sp manifests in a 4 anyhow. It's more about indulgence & autonomy. A lot of wanting to be a homebody is just introversion, and if she's a withdrawn type (4 or 9) then that's heightened.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #48
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    Please help me understand my girlfriend's type. I'm pretty sure she's an INFP, but I'm unsure if she's a well-developed 4 that looks like a 9 or...a 9? I'm recruiting my special army of experts: @OrangeAppled, @Lady X, @Marmotini, @Mane, @prplchknz, @fia, @Tiltyred, @Southern Kross, @Nijntje, @21%, @Thursday

    OK, some things:

    - she's a writer, and she started writing because she wanted to be recognized as special and an artist, when she was younger...she also went through stages where she wanted to be an actress to be recognised for her beauty and sensual energy etc....
    - but now she's more resigned and often wonders if it's worth it all, because "in the end we'll all going to die..." etc, and that maybe it would be easier to have a more secure career as an arts critic etc
    - she really likes the upbeat energy and the motivation, that I bring, and when we met I think I stroke her ego because I really liked her texts. she says I give her strength and a purpose in life..i help her create
    - she's much more balanced than me. when we met i was given "rules" that we couldn't talk or see each other everyday because she really needed her space etc
    - but after just a couple of months it all changed and she became the more dependent one in the couple, i feel
    - she's very physical, she needs hugging and kind words everyday, all the time
    - she doesn't like arguments and is known in her group of friends as the peacemaker
    - she wants a relationship that is calm and peaceful (i'm the opposite, i like drama and once in a while i try to stir shit up in our relationship so that we can discuss what has been under the surface..and start again, more authentically)
    - the few times i've seen her crossed she gets really panicky....starts telling me what to do, has opinions about everything, will be completely all over the place with Te (which then leads me to lose my patience because i'm not in a zen state anymore, so then my Te comes in in full force and I sort shit out)
    I'm sorry to find that I'm not one of your special experts. I had a few articles on the Enneagram published in the Enneagram Monthly, but that wouldn't make me one of your special experts, of course.

    I do have a question for you, however. Why do you use JCF in this forum? It's not that you can't, of course. But if you're a 7, then your statement that "my Te comes in in full force and I sort shit out" is better described as 7 moving to 1.

    Your friend is an INFP, which is difficult to E-type. The types that are out of physical space of the body are 4, 5, and 9. And she is a Supine personality type - "You are motivated by the prospect of being able to contribute. Your inner need is to look humble and to serve a greater purpose. You need to be accepted and you need to protect other's weaknesses. You want recognition for your service and you want opportunities to serve. You want to contribute to a higher calling and you want to be protected. You are caring, giving, and gentle. You are dependable and loyal. But you can also be insecure, manipulative, and weak willed. You can be indecisive and occasionally harbour ill will."

    6w7>9w8>4w3
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  9. #49
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    oh god bring me a knife.... i dont understand the enneagram, i want to cry

    @Lady X she might start wanting to kill me, because i already asked her to take 2 tests, and she's basically only doing it for myself, and begrudgingly because she doesn't believe in personality theories (and says the tests are very shallow, and i have to say, in this she's completely right)
    Tell her that my knowledge of personality types helped me adjust from living with a projective ISFJ to living with an introjective ISFP.

    The reason this is important is that some of the ISFP's reactions appeared to be ISFJ reactions, and I was reacting to it the same way I did in my ISFJ relationship of 13 years. Recognizing that there are deep differences between people led me to conclude that what I was seeing was not in fact projection but introjection. Recognizing this enabled me to adjust emotionally and behaviorally to a relationship with an ISFP.

    It's difficult enough to jump from a relationship of 13 years straight to a new one. Adjustment is made a lot quicker recognizing that I don't have to respond in the new relationship the same way I habitually responded in the previous relationship of 13 years.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  10. #50
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mal+ View Post
    I'm sorry to find that I'm not one of your special experts. I had a few articles on the Enneagram published in the Enneagram Monthly, but that wouldn't make me one of your special experts, of course.
    you are too much

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