The Hardest Type to be in The Enneagram

[Zarathustra]

Only people I see doing that are 6s, 3s, and other 8s

But everyone else still thinks you're an [avian trapped in a human's body].

 

[Azure Flame]

No, it's still cuz you're an asshole.

I have a friend who is an e8.

He just naturally assumes he's the boss, no matter where he is, no matter the situation.

But there's really nothing about him, other than his constant attempt to claim that mantle, and the fact that he's rather large, and he's loud as shit, why he should be so. And so all our friends give him endless amounts of shit. He gets shit on more than just about anyone, among 100+ individuals, essentially entirely because of how he comports himself.

We still all love him, and our friends donated tends of thousands of dollars to his political campaign when he ran for Congress at 28, but we still give him endless amounts of shit, and he deserves every ounce of it.

Have you ever tried to see how he'd respond if you granted him authority without question?

 

[Zarathustra]

CP6's can be equally wreckless. 7's are hedonistic for it's own sake (although there's fear/anhedonia deep down) while cp6s are hedonistic to consciously soothe their anxiety.

As a counterphobic 6 about to go on a pub crawl, I have to say, this is rather true.

Although the reason I'm doing it is because it's my buddy's birthday.

But when I just fully let loose, and let the SeFi flag fly, my anxieties do largely go away.

As for 7s: they do it too to keep anxiety at bay, but it's like the anxiety is further away, and they want to keep it there, whereas for cp6s, the anxiety is right there, that moment, as the root of everything.

 

[Lady_X]

You realize this is all your own fault, right?

It's cuz you're an asshole.

Yeah... I mean... That's not cuz you're an 8

My ex boyfriend was an 8 and none of that was true for him.

 

[Zarathustra]

Have you ever tried to see how he'd respond if you granted him authority without question?

First off, why the fuck should I?

Second, I've given him authority in certain matters, cuz he clearly wanted it so badly, and it was better/more efficient than squabbling about it.

 

[Zarathustra]

Yeah... I mean... That's not cuz you're an 8

My ex boyfriend was an 8 and none of that was true for him.

Was he pretty damn healthy?

Cuz I do think it is largely the sign of an average to unhealthy 8.

 

[Azure Flame]

First off, why the fuck should I?

Second, I've given him authority in certain matters, cuz he clearly wanted it so badly, and it was more efficient than squabbling about it.

Try granting authority to him without question and see how he reacts

 

[Zarathustra]

Try granting authority to him without question and see how he reacts

I don't do that.

And we're really not in a space anymore where such a thing is possible.

 

[Azure Flame]

I don't do that.

Then you will never understand 8's.

The difference between you and I, is that when someone tells me they're good at something, I take their word for it.

 

[Zarathustra]

Then you will never understand 8's.

That's fine.

I'm content laughing at them and giving them shit.

I don't give authority to babies just cuz they really really really want it.

 

[Azure Flame]

That's fine.

I'm content laughing at them and giving them shit.

Yes but they're not so content with it.

 

[Zarathustra]

Yes but they're not so content with it.

See my edit.

 

[Azure Flame]

I don't give authority to babies just cuz they really really really want it.

If they are inept, let them make a fool of themself.

 

[Zarathustra]

If they are inept, let them make a fool of themself.

If they are not inept, then I will see that, and I will (provisionally) grant them authority.

This is all tribal/evolutionary.

Any e8 asshole could/would attempt to claim power/authority in a tribe.

It was the 6s who granted authority to whomever (whether 8 or not) deserved it.

And we were also the ones who killed the assholes who overstepped their proper bounds, or wouldn't relinquish power when they should.

 

[Azure Flame]

If they are not inept, then I will see that, and I will (provisionally) grant them authority.

This is counter to my experience. Most 6's do not see my abilities or allow me an opportunity. I have to force it upon them until they are silent.

 

[Zarathustra]

This is counter to my experience. Most 6's do not see my abilities or allow me an opportunity. I have to force it upon them until they are silent.

See my edit.

Consider the fact that your excessive eagerness for the job is often a disqualifying factor.

You think you're the man for the job, but they have you pegged as an undeserving asshole.

Prove yourself a worthy leader; don't just automatically assume you are such (and expect others to).

(and don't be so fucking eager for the job, and so eager to prove yourself, either -- that's almost as bad.)

 

[Azure Flame]

Its like in the military. They often claimed, "to be a leader, you must first learn to follow."

The reason for this is because, the followers are observed and granted leadership past that. When 8's are in charge, their minds are at full potential. When 8's are subordinate, their abilities are often suppressed and unseen unless they are given reign over their own territory. The only time I've had an E6 boss impressed with me is as a gymnastics instructor, where I am never bothered.

 

[Stansmith]

9 guys go to a bar, each one is of each individual enneagram type. The 1 leaves first after drinking a glass of water. The 3, the 7 and the 8 leave with every hot girl in the bar within 1 minute of walking in. The 4 leaves to work on his novel, the 5 pulls out a copy of Ayn Rand, the 2 leaves to buy a present for his sister in law's baby shower after having a pleasant platonic conversation with the female bar tender, the 9 is not affected by the situation and the 6 awkwardly stares at a glass.

 

[Lady_X]

Was he pretty damn healthy?

Cuz I do think it is largely the sign of an average to unhealthy 8.

Yeah for sure... He was an enfp also with crazy strong fi so he remained respectful of other people's values and Seemed to be very protective of them. He did like to debate to sort of test someone on their beliefs which was annoying but he said it was just because he was extremely interested in how someone draws the conclusions they do or whatever

Idk... He was definitely a " challenger" but he didn't seem domineering or egotistical. There was nothing abrasive about his personality from my view.

 

[Azure Flame]

Any e8 asshole could/would attempt to claim power/authority in a tribe.

It was the 6s who granted authority to whomever (whether 8 or not) deserved it.

And we were also the ones who killed the assholes who overstepped their proper bounds, or wouldn't relinquish power when they should.

I won't deny your personality is badass. The issue is that, 8's operate best when in charge. So to fully see their potential is to grant them temporary leadership and see how they perform. Otherwise you're judging them unfairly.

I've had bosses give me busywork to test my leadership. Being able to make copies of documents is not an indication of leadership. Responsibility, integrity and fortitude of character are.