I think we 5s are unsuited for a lot of things. Routine jobs, retail, sports, acting, singing... you won't see many successful 5s in any of these fields.
true. it's difficult to accept being contained by such a small-minded game. once you've gotten the percentages worked out, what's left to do?
Now that I'm sort of dating an ESFJ E2, I've made an extensive search about INTPxESFJ + E2xE5 relationships (I've noticed a significant Enneagram/mbti overlap for both). So I have in mind dozens of permutations of how things may (or not) work out.
this is tough. the only thing i've figured out is that the broader i get into possibilities, into more futures, the less i know where i'm actually at in the moment because the less capable i am of creating clear observations of myself in the present moment. chasing the perfect story or the perfect concept does not replace the ability to wait and let it all pass, which simply comes about from finally noticing it in a way that allows you to let go of it. not always piling on more stuff, but waiting for ourselves to fully grieve what we lose, which is simply to wait for ourselves to fully notice what we actually feel and what is actually true for us and complete the emotional processing, so that we can trust ourselves to get through it and trust the moment to inspire us, to lead us back home to ourselves rather than the objects of knowledge and memory that we cling to for fear that we will lose ourselves if we do not leave a bread crumb trail. like the endless array of notepads and scribblings littering every room i spend any time in. #e5hoarders
5s usually have a nihilistic side that most people hate. "Hey, that's not an intrinsic value." "That's ultimately a social construction, you know."
i love this. but at the same time, it is better, others like it more, if you have fun when you say it. if that makes the value of whatever it is dissipate, then the presumed insight is taking over you rather than allowing you to construct a relationship with whatever deeper truth you are trying to find and the deeper parts of yourself that are not realized yet through relationship. the underlying meaning of this statement, to me, points to the fact that the social binds us, that we are always but a part of something bigger than ourselves, that we must be, that the mind that we are a part of, that has emerged in part through us individually and collectively, offers itself to us not only so that it can know itself but so that we can know ourselves through our relationships with each other, that constitute the emerging it. there's so many ways in which you can illustrate this picture and be awed by it, by the interconnectedness of populations in process.
5s are likely the worst possible companionship for parties. unless they've had enough alcohol to make a fool of themselves and amuse other people by behaving like court jesters. Finally, we are probably the most frustrating romantic partners of the whole Enneagram theory. This post by Jennifer sums it quite well (though she was specifically talking about INTPs):
i can relate, but i also don't really buy it. step 1 is finding enjoyment in more than your mind. the mind is great, and obsessing about the possibilities of the great mind we are all a part of, that is too big to know, trying to identify with the entirety of the atmosphere, the sky rather than the earth takes us away from our ability to enjoy being ourselves. the part of ourselves we can actually recognize. it takes us out of so many sites in which we, through our experience, self-valorize, as long as we are open to it. 5s need awareness training to bring them into their bodies, to walk barefoot, to notice their breathing and stay with the heavy, condensing relaxation response pooling up at the end of it.
5s are often super witty, weirdly creative people. they have a soft quirky e7 underbelly that, once they trust themselves, they're more willing to show, booze or no booze. they are protective, and when they believe in themselves, they have a lot to give others. they can influence a course while still being patient, still listening to others, and, when taking responsibility to balance their own moods by practicing patience and allowing themselves to fully feel them, paradoxically freeing themselves in the process by truly NOTICING what is happening with them rather than embedding each emotional moment deeper and deeper into habitual thought patterns that have not termination point, no completion but mental and motivational exhaustion, they make the search for the truth behind all things wonderful, magical, and full of the mystery that returns reverence to a world that grows old and stale when it stops exploring itself and its own endless plethora of meanings. and they often make great teachers who show a willingness to embody the teaching process in all forms, allowing themselves to teach themselves, to be taught by others, to teach each other. it's a great beautiful thing when it's grounded in emotional well-being.
i just think 5s need a lot of support because they don't initially have a very good sense how to give it to themselves, and due in part to their unusual path of development, starting at the end and moving back to the beginning, they can struggle finding the right teachers for them. when they do, they can make tremendous and profound changes rather quickly.
It's fine until I actually want or worse, need to come down out of the tower. And then it hits me that I built it a thousand miles away in the middle of nowhere. That feeling of safety and superiority collapses into a black hole then. What do I do? Go back inside? Start the long walk back to 'civilization' without knowing in advance what sort of reception I will get once I get there? I'm left torn between those two options.* I can never decide if there is more pain in the fact that I need someone to be there for me when everything goes black or more pain because there is no one there in those moments. Mostly because I haven't invested myself in having relationships with others so I can get support when I truly need it. Autonomy biting me in the ass at the worse moments.
*Unless of course, I can lure someone out here to join me. I can cook very well, there's plenty of books to read, and nice places to explore.
[MENTION=13260]Rasofy[/MENTION] described it well. There is also the tremendous pain of realizing that one has spent so much time learning to live that very little actual living is done. Always preparing...never ready. It can be very hard to remember or have the courage to know that sometimes you just have to jump in there and dance.
we're good at luring. i like the perfect e5 blue police box. yes, bigger on the inside.
i also think there is an inherent tension in being a head type on the path to reveal something about the mind of the universe, to explore new possibilities and keep letting go of the transitory shells of thinking that protect and organize us all, and finding a balance with a conventional life and consistent goals and careers and relationships and family structures. 7s experience a similar tension. i just think it's okay. we all have tensions whose dynamics to some degree define us. i feel that with us, when integrating our quests with value for others, we create something very good, and that noticing the underlying motivations and urges of our quests for knowledge more clearly allows us to do a better job balancing raw excitation and a deeper, embodied sense of value, a way of centering ourselves amidst more than the ideas themselves but the relationships that those ideas serve in order to ignite us as selves, to bind us for the journey and drive
us forward.
