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  1. #1
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Default Your childhood experiences

    State your type and write down your childhood experiences. How were you like as a child? Can you see a correlation between your behavior and your type's inner child? The inner child is the type's integration point.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Could you briefly explain how the inner child is meant relate to enneatype? For example, is integration meant to be about overcoming your childhood or is it a return to it?
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

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    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Could you briefly explain how the inner child is meant relate to enneatype? For example, is integration meant to be about overcoming your childhood or is it a return to it?
    A return to your childhood self. The idea of the inner child is the true nature of our type which was manifested in our childhood but was for various reasons repressed into the subconscious of our psyche where we focus the drive and powers of the inner child into something different. For the 5, this becomes a lust for truth, denying your own body (anti-lust) and the fear of turning subhuman by losing your mind. Integration could be seen as letting out the soul child in such a sense.

    I am not too familiar with how the soul child operates at a deeper theoretical level for each enneatype. I understand 9 all right because 9s ultimately seek recognition and success. 5s I know well being my own type, which is getting in touch with the world around you, seeing meaning in simple pleasures. 4 would be the ability to stand up for yourself and see your own self-worth. For 1 it's accepting and liking who you are and acting out on your basic desires. I don't dare speaking for the rest of the types because I haven't discussed the soul child much with people who are of other types.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    At this point, you might as well just list all the arbitrary soul childs for each type, as per theory, then just fill in the blanks.

    It would probably be more interesting just to hear about people's experiences with trying to recapture who they personally happened to be as a child, without trying to jam it into a predetermined mold.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeaT View Post
    State your type and write down your childhood experiences. How were you like as a child? Can you see a correlation between your behavior and your type's inner child? The inner child is the type's integration point.
    I'm 8w9. I made a list of things I know about my childhood, but now I'm editing it into categories.

    Behaviors that may indicate 2 soul-child (with some 8 mixed in):

    - As an infant, I cried a lot. Other babies would smile and look around but I was miserable, angry and always crying. This might be a personality issue or it might be a health issue: I almost died as a kid, and I had an illness nobody knew about until later which can affect people psychologically. Nevertheless I was angry and extremely clingy and needed a ton of attention as an infant.

    - I had two "husbands" in first grade who used to get into physical fights over me, until I found a third "husband" in 2nd grade. His parents caught us cuddling in his bed and punished him and told my parents. I'm pretty sure my parents didn't care.

    - In kindergarten I used to give my toys away to kids who had less money. My parents told me they wouldn't buy me toys if I kept on giving them away, and I didn't understand why they would tell me not to be kind.

    - I was very physical as a young kid - in photos I was always sitting on my mom, my brother, my grand-father, my father. I climbed all over everyone all the time and wanted a lot of affection. I also liked wrestling in the mud, being lifted up by my dad to play "plane," running around the yard naked until a very late age, swimming, splashing, racing.

    - I was made fun of a lot in school, and after I stopped having "husbands" in second grade, I mostly kept to myself and my one close female friend. People made fun of both of us. But in third grade, the popular girls asked me to join them, but said I had to leave her behind. I refused and told them I would stick with my friend. She ended up betraying me in the long run because of similar pressures, and this contributed to a cynical outlook about friendship, and a feeling that everyone is out for themselves. It fit in with my outlook that I got from my family - my mother betrayed me for my brother, favored him, and always took his side in arguments (in my eyes), and my father got angry and abusive for no reason. I had to defend myself and make my own way and not depend on anyone.

    5 stuff and development of 4 fix through musical & creative identity

    - My father says I had a brilliant mind which developed faster than other kids. I could read earlier, think better, do math first, ask very good questions, and was amazing with language. However, I had trouble reading other people's emotions if they were not stated in words.

    - I started playing piano at age 4, and by age 8, though I was still terrible at reading notes, I had written my first full song with lyrics, two verses, a bridge, and a chorus. It was catchy and I still remember it. I wrote shorter songs as early as age 5. I was considered a child prodigy on the musical front.

    - I had an extremely rich inner life (and still do). I used to tell myself ongoing fantasy stories to put myself to sleep. I wrote my first 400 page sci-fi/ fantasy book around age 11. The protagonist was a spy and a prostitute. I was obsessed with homeless people and prostitutes and started a musical about a prostitute around that age. I was very into Star Wars, reading, writing, and creating. My life dream from a young age was to buy a mobile home (which I started saving up for, young) and travel, making my way by earning tips at bars as a singer. I idealized homelessness because I did not like the idea of being controlled by anyone, having to pay taxes or being "on the grid" or having property that others could take away from me if I did not follow their rules.

    - I look miserable in a lot of photos, but I look happy when I'm holding my cat, when I'm climbing things, or when I'm in costume. I got involved in theater as early as age 5 and I absolutely loved dressing up in costume. However, my costumes were not girly and glamorous. Many of them were male villains, homeless people, and other interesting quirky heroes. I went so far as to introduce myself to strangers by the name of the costume I was wearing. Like "Hi, I'm Captain Hook."

    8-ish stuff

    - My brother was born when I was 2.5 years old, and I was miserable and felt betrayed because my mother paid attention to him. For years I was mean to him, until at age 9 I announced, "I'm not going to be mean to him anymore!" and never was again. Prior to that there was nothing they could do to stop me from being mean. We got along great, and played war games in the back yard, and had bits of our own language, but I would suddenly turn on him and torture him any way I could. But if anyone else dared to be mean to him (even my father), I would protect him.

    - My mother says when I was very little, I was "Queen of the Playground." I would come up with an imaginary scenario and tell every kid on the playground what their role was so we could all act it out. Kids listened to me and liked it.

    - My grandmother saw me in a tree and asked me, "What are you doing up there?" I replied, "Thinking." She asked, "Thinking about what?" And I calmly said, "About how to get down." This implies to me that I was impulsive and fairly relaxed about it.

    - My father had a temper and sometimes hit me, but I always talked right back to him and never took his shit. He never hit my brother. This is because I always stood up for what I want, demanded my freedom, refused to follow rules unless I wanted to, and did everything my own way. He would get frustrated and angry with me and we would fight a lot. However, he also has a habit of yelling at people for "no good reason" and I'm the only one who never tolerated it and gave it right back to him, from the youngest age.

    - I was an *extremely* independent kid, after infancy and toddler years. I left the house when I felt like, running around the forest by myself, climbing trees, walking down the street alone. I practiced piano on my own during lunch at school. I got excellent grades of my own accord, but I did most of my homework during other lessons at school so I could have free time after school. I saved all my allowance, had jobs singing and writing songs by the time I was 13, and saved up so I could move out early. As a kid, I always kept a bag packed in case someone tried to "tell me what to do" and I needed to run away. I did actually run away many times, but not for long, because my mother would chase after me and negotiate.

    - I had a serious career building in music and musical theater in my early teens. My parents did not force me; I begged for lessons and practiced a lot. I had the idea that I'd move out and then nobody could control me; I would make my own way. I'd be extremely rich and therefore above the law. I loved my work, and my parents never had to force me to practice or do my work since I was about 9. And in my mother's own words, "Nobody could ever get [Maybe] to do anything she didn't want to do."

    - Responsible as I was with my work and my money, I was also daring and rebellious, and had some interactions with the cops at early ages for doing exactly as I pleased (ie, climbing buildings) ... but I never got in trouble because I was straight-talking and cute, and at school, I was a great student.

    ______________
    @LeaT - to sum it up in enneagram terms, I see a lot of 2 as a very young kid, in my affectionate behavior, snuggling up with boys and giving my toys away, and I also see a ton of 8 and 5 throughout. I can also clearly see the reasons I lost the childhood message "You will not be betrayed." As an adult I don't get physically close to anyone except intimates, and when I first started getting intimate I would have sex but not cuddle. And to this day, if I cuddle or I'm physically close with a person, I become possessive and worry about being betrayed. I'm also possessive of my things. I can be generous with money but it has to be on my terms. I'm possessive of my time, my work, my ideas. I've been like that since the end of elementary school. It was a noticeable change. It's like I have a clear push-pull between my instinct way deep down to "give everything" and my instinct to stay autonomous and protect myself from being vulnerable and giving power away.

    I think my 4w3 fix developed quite early as well, in that I built an identity in musical ability and my fantasy life and ideals that nobody else can touch; and music stuff gave me a feeling of personal significance. But being independent & autonomous & not being controlled by others has always been crucial to me, whereas my identity seems to have formed naturally and has not been a primary concern.
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  6. #6
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    Interesting thread idea. I don't feel like responding right now, so this is just a bump.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    At this point, you might as well just list all the arbitrary soul childs for each type, as per theory, then just fill in the blanks.

    It would probably be more interesting just to hear about people's experiences with trying to recapture who they personally happened to be as a child, without trying to jam it into a predetermined mold.
    I agree.

  7. #7
    Member PrettyWoman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeaT View Post
    State your type and write down your childhood experiences. How were you like as a child? Can you see a correlation between your behavior and your type's inner child? The inner child is the type's integration point.
    Either 2 or 7 here. I see a correlation, sure, I was talkative and optimistic and enthusiastic like I'm now! I even had issues with fidelity like I still have, would promise to meet one-to-one for several friends and then at the last minute pick one and reject the others. I want to try many things and I want to be free to do that and I try to charm people if I cannot get what I want otherwise.

    No idea whats inner child, I'm really not that into this.

  8. #8
    Step into my office. Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    @Maybe - Your reply was very interesting! Although I'm some funky cocktail of 7, 4, and 1, many of your points resonated with me quite a bit. I think your inner child comes off as more 8 than any other type, but either way, you seem like a pretty cool character.
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  9. #9
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AntiheroComplex View Post
    @Maybe - Your reply was very interesting! Although I'm some funky cocktail of 7, 4, and 1, many of your points resonated with me quite a bit. I think your inner child comes off as more 8 than any other type, but either way, you seem like a pretty cool character.
    If she's an 8 the soul child is 2 whereas for me, I'm a 5 so my soul child is 8. I know Maybe well enough to say that she is not a 5 unless you meant something else.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  10. #10
    Step into my office. Luv Deluxe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeaT View Post
    If she's an 8 the soul child is 2 whereas for me, I'm a 5 so my soul child is 8. I know Maybe well enough to say that she is not a 5 unless you meant something else.
    Nope, wasn't suggesting that she's a 5. I guess I didn't realize that "soul children" are different from what you turn out to be; looking back I see you've said it's the enneatype's integration point. I just meant that I saw hardcore 8 foundation written all over that, which makes sense - she turned out to be a type 8.
    AMERICAN TRASH
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