I strongly relate to all the descriptions on all accounts except maybe Palmer's that overall felt very vague and I think RH emphasizes the "secret sharing" too much although Palmer is worse without truly describing what this means. Yes, it happens that I tell intimates that "I never told anyone else this before" but I wouldn't say this is necessarily what drives me in my intimate search (as far as I know), or what defines my intimate relationships with people. I do however constantly measure our relationships in terms of level of trust, "how much do I dare sharing with this person at any given moment and they will treat this information in a way that is not held agaist me?" and it is this trust that defines the depths of many of my relationships. The more I trust, the more I share of myself, the closer we become I suppose. There's also the constant weighing of "is this information useful to this person?" and if the answer is no, I probably won't mention it. For example, I'm very interested in type theory (duh) but my real life bestie isn't so thus, I never mentioned this to her or that I have an interest in it. This can be frustrating in the sense that I do want to share (I'm so passionate about this subject!) but I just keep finding myself thinking what's the point if the information itself is not valued. Ultimately I think it is the result of an avaricious mind thinking that if I share and get nothing in return (reciprocity is important), then it is not worth sharing. I need a guarantee that I get something back.
As I pointed out before, I also I don't like how the aspect of secret sharing is of the sx 5 is overstressed without truly defining what it means (both Palmer and RH do it). However, as you can see and I already pointed out, there's a general theme/tendency of the sx 5 of seeking some kind of ultimate love/acceptance which probably relates back to the feeling of having difficulty connecting that Maitri points out, for example. Naranjo is certainly also correct that after conversing to some 5s on video, I'm very talkative and I'm often the one who drives conversation forward. It's the same even with non-5s in conversation where I'm the one driving it forward. I like taking initiative and get things going which is ironic since this is not the role I prefer, but there's always this fear that if I don't do it, then I'm here for nothing. Time is wasted, energy is wasted. I guess this is also a good example of how the counter-passion of the 5 appears like so while it looks like I'm sharing myself there's still the stinginess that motivates this behavior.
The parts they mention about being assertive and confident are also very true. I experience a strong connetion to 8 but there's definitely internal tension of a push/pull going on that RH points out, especially when it comes to romance as I'm always stuck in the middle between wanting to connect and withdraw. This is why I first mistyped myself as sp/sx because I thought since I didn't dare to often be more aggressive in my attempts to connect it's because I'm sp first, but then I realized that it's not that I do it because I favor sp, I do it because it feels like sp is holding me back. I fall back on sp as a security point. I want to share and I want to connect but as Maitri points out, I severely lack confidence in my sx, especially in a romantic sense. There are other reasons for this that undoubtly have part to do with my own childhood experiences, but part what I feel makes the sx/sp stacking very volatile is exactly of this internal push/pull. I want to connect and I desire to connect but I do not dare to connect for most of the part, especially if I feel that my emotions are at stake.
Conection is thus a complicated matter. On the one hand, I can definitely see an overall trend that where I have felt confidence in my ability to connect with people I have also been the one to take initiative and I have always been the driving force in my life to establish those connections to other people, but again, it tends to be when my emotions are not at stake and I feel comfortable because I for example know what I'm talking about or for the matter, what I should talk about to establish connection.