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  1. #1
    undergoing self-analysis louiesgonnadie's Avatar
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    Default Need help with my variant

    I'm pretty sure I'm SP-dom, but I can't figure out the other variant. I've tested recently as so/sp or sp/so, to give me an idea.

    I can be pretty social, yet I suspect I suffer from social awkwardness and do have social anxiety, so that hinders my attempts at improving any skills. It also makes me think it disguises me as more introverted (or at times, super-reserved). But as an ideal, I would be more social; yet in the end it would come down to having just a few close relationships with people I admire. In other words, depth over breadth.

    As far as intimate relationships go: I need physical and emotional attraction combined to engage in an intimate relationship, or to feel passionate enough to brew an intimate "oneness" with a love interest. I am very picky when it comes to women. In a way, I hold value to things that I am very physically attracted to, so it can be hard to detach myself from an infatuation; thus making me very vulnerable to suffer from oneitis (which I'm sure a few of you have heard of). For example, if I see a girl that is uniquely beautiful to me, my fascination will fuel infatuation, especially if I am emotionally attracted to her as well. However, I may feel awkward when I am trying to be romantic. I imagine I could pull it off after a while though.

    I think I'm SP-dom though since I value competence over most and I lean towards being independent. I get excited over the idea of improving my well being (the funny thing is, I am usually lacking motivation to do so!)

    I might add more later...
    "For a minute there, I lost myself...I lost myself."

    LOUIS CK: "We don't think about how we talk"
    http://zenpencils.com/comic/95-louis...t-how-we-talk/

  2. #2
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    8w9 sx/so
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    Default

    The difference between the instincts depend on what you focus on in terms of energy. Sx is about intensity, volatility, energy exchange and so on. I wrote extensively about my experience as sx 5 here:

    I strongly relate to all the descriptions on all accounts except maybe Palmer's that overall felt very vague and I think RH emphasizes the "secret sharing" too much although Palmer is worse without truly describing what this means. Yes, it happens that I tell intimates that "I never told anyone else this before" but I wouldn't say this is necessarily what drives me in my intimate search (as far as I know), or what defines my intimate relationships with people. I do however constantly measure our relationships in terms of level of trust, "how much do I dare sharing with this person at any given moment and they will treat this information in a way that is not held agaist me?" and it is this trust that defines the depths of many of my relationships. The more I trust, the more I share of myself, the closer we become I suppose. There's also the constant weighing of "is this information useful to this person?" and if the answer is no, I probably won't mention it. For example, I'm very interested in type theory (duh) but my real life bestie isn't so thus, I never mentioned this to her or that I have an interest in it. This can be frustrating in the sense that I do want to share (I'm so passionate about this subject!) but I just keep finding myself thinking what's the point if the information itself is not valued. Ultimately I think it is the result of an avaricious mind thinking that if I share and get nothing in return (reciprocity is important), then it is not worth sharing. I need a guarantee that I get something back.

    As I pointed out before, I also I don't like how the aspect of secret sharing is of the sx 5 is overstressed without truly defining what it means (both Palmer and RH do it). However, as you can see and I already pointed out, there's a general theme/tendency of the sx 5 of seeking some kind of ultimate love/acceptance which probably relates back to the feeling of having difficulty connecting that Maitri points out, for example. Naranjo is certainly also correct that after conversing to some 5s on video, I'm very talkative and I'm often the one who drives conversation forward. It's the same even with non-5s in conversation where I'm the one driving it forward. I like taking initiative and get things going which is ironic since this is not the role I prefer, but there's always this fear that if I don't do it, then I'm here for nothing. Time is wasted, energy is wasted. I guess this is also a good example of how the counter-passion of the 5 appears like so while it looks like I'm sharing myself there's still the stinginess that motivates this behavior.

    The parts they mention about being assertive and confident are also very true. I experience a strong connetion to 8 but there's definitely internal tension of a push/pull going on that RH points out, especially when it comes to romance as I'm always stuck in the middle between wanting to connect and withdraw. This is why I first mistyped myself as sp/sx because I thought since I didn't dare to often be more aggressive in my attempts to connect it's because I'm sp first, but then I realized that it's not that I do it because I favor sp, I do it because it feels like sp is holding me back. I fall back on sp as a security point. I want to share and I want to connect but as Maitri points out, I severely lack confidence in my sx, especially in a romantic sense. There are other reasons for this that undoubtly have part to do with my own childhood experiences, but part what I feel makes the sx/sp stacking very volatile is exactly of this internal push/pull. I want to connect and I desire to connect but I do not dare to connect for most of the part, especially if I feel that my emotions are at stake.

    Conection is thus a complicated matter. On the one hand, I can definitely see an overall trend that where I have felt confidence in my ability to connect with people I have also been the one to take initiative and I have always been the driving force in my life to establish those connections to other people, but again, it tends to be when my emotions are not at stake and I feel comfortable because I for example know what I'm talking about or for the matter, what I should talk about to establish connection.
    I think if you relate to a degree to this, then you're probably some kind of sx variant. If not, then soc. The social instinct is more on the focus of connections between people though. They are more acutely aware of the social structures we're embedded in (aside someone telling me this is my boss, I doubt I could tell how a random person related to this boss socially). They notice social dynamics and hierarchies between people and they are better at using this knowledge in order to establish or severe connections. As sx first, I'm more acutely aware of the nature of our energy exchange between people, if it's intense enough or not. Other sx types, especially sx first and with strong (socionics) Te can trigger me a lot and I can get realy caught up finding their overall energy they express attractive/desireable. It's like a dayfly thing.

    If you're a 5, you should also look into how the instincts manifest with sp first types being more private and stingy due to emphasizing avarice more, soc care about their totems and ideally being in a position where they have a social position of power like the shaman role Naranjo describes them as. They also want to get involved with people who provide interesting information. Soc and sx first can look pretty similar when it comes to 5s at surface level especially if soc is anti-soc (I think sx first 5s are more naturally anti-sx because 5s supress their lust being anti-lust kind of), but ultimately, sx 5 use knowledge to create intimate connections. Soc 5s want to establish soc connections.

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  3. #3
    undergoing self-analysis louiesgonnadie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeaT View Post
    The difference between the instincts depend on what you focus on in terms of energy. Sx is about intensity, volatility, energy exchange and so on. I wrote extensively about my experience as sx 5 here:



    I think if you relate to a degree to this, then you're probably some kind of sx variant. If not, then soc. The social instinct is more on the focus of connections between people though. They are more acutely aware of the social structures we're embedded in (aside someone telling me this is my boss, I doubt I could tell how a random person related to this boss socially). They notice social dynamics and hierarchies between people and they are better at using this knowledge in order to establish or severe connections. As sx first, I'm more acutely aware of the nature of our energy exchange between people, if it's intense enough or not. Other sx types, especially sx first and with strong (socionics) Te can trigger me a lot and I can get realy caught up finding their overall energy they express attractive/desireable. It's like a dayfly thing.

    If you're a 5, you should also look into how the instincts manifest with sp first types being more private and stingy due to emphasizing avarice more, soc care about their totems and ideally being in a position where they have a social position of power like the shaman role Naranjo describes them as. They also want to get involved with people who provide interesting information. Soc and sx first can look pretty similar when it comes to 5s at surface level especially if soc is anti-soc (I think sx first 5s are more naturally anti-sx because 5s supress their lust being anti-lust kind of), but ultimately, sx 5 use knowledge to create intimate connections. Soc 5s want to establish soc connections.
    I could relate to some of it, particularly about how you choose to share things to people. And based off of what I read about enneagram theory (which isn't much), I'd say type 5 resonates best with me, but I could be 6, 9, and maybe even 4. I've been trying to figure out my trifix.

    But from what I gather, SX is about intensity, but intensity defined is more ---> passion, and emotional excitement over anything, even ideas and knowledge? Also a stronger desire for romance? I'd definitely relate to that, and whenever I am thinking about something that stimulates me (usually intellectually) and listening to music - I get a rush of chills, particularly since what I am thinking about enters a more dramatic tone, usually depending on the type of music I am listening to. SX connection there? Or would there have to be a more open approach to it - say giving a passionate speech. Hmm? Yeah, my gut tells me I know nothing, so I'll do some more research! Heh.
    "For a minute there, I lost myself...I lost myself."

    LOUIS CK: "We don't think about how we talk"
    http://zenpencils.com/comic/95-louis...t-how-we-talk/

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