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  1. #11
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I think healthy people have bad things happen to them too. It's just that, over time, they produce more good things than bad, and those things are obvious to everyone.
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  2. #12
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    Usually unhealthy people attract other unhealthy people.

    Of course it's not always that simple, sometimes users will hang on to an enabler who seems more outwardly stable than themselves. But if you can't create firm boundaries with people who do all taking and very little giving, then you aren't completely healthy, either.

    I've noticed that whomever I'm dating is a mirror for me, like the healthier I've gotten the more stable who I am in involved with is. Of course, the appearance of "captain save-a-ho" (or mistress-save-a-playa?) doesn't mean you're healthy, it means you're exhibiting signs of needing an enabler to clean-up your own messes; usually people aren't genuinely attracted to their "captain-save-a-ho" though. If you're using someone who helps you out, but know you wouldn't be interested otherwise, you're unhealthy yourself.

    HOWEVER, I believe that mildly/moderately unhealthy people can get better when surrounded by healthy, loving, strong people. Not in a romantic sense, but like family (or chosen family), a group of friends, a community of people who do yoga together or belong to the same church, that kind of thing.

    Usually healthy people are aware of what their issues are, are trying to better themselves, but also aren't convinced of their own perfection or superiority (people who think they're perfect are caught up in their false image of themselves, and are probably unhealthy 1s or 3s).

    And yes, 6s are at their core anxious or reactive, and 4s are inherently possessing of strong feelings, so just because you guys don't get along or aren't compatible doesn't mean they are "unhealthy"...just different.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Usually unhealthy people attract other unhealthy people.

    Of course it's not always that simple, sometimes users will hang on to an enabler who seems more outwardly stable than themselves. But if you can't create firm boundaries with people who do all taking and very little giving, then you aren't completely healthy, either.
    How true...

  4. #14
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    Edited...I have no idea why that double posted.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Well, I tend to tell by how much people project their shit on others. People who overreact or exaggerate a specific negative behavior often tend to be unhealthy. For example as a 5, being more withdrawn, not seeing people, starting having a reality breakdown at extremely unhealthy levels and so on, or a 4 becoming clingy as fuck as Marmotini referred to as "captain-save-a-ho". I can also vibe people's health levels in a sense that I can feel how happy/sad they are and thus judge their levels of health in such a sense.

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  6. #16
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Fantasy worlds can be healthy to have, but you have to know how to get in and out and when you're needed in reality. Living in the fantasy world is the unhealthy way. You don't know that a way out exists at all.

    Daydream responsibly.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Webslinger View Post
    Fantasy worlds can be healthy to have, but you have to know how to get in and out and when you're needed in reality. Living in the fantasy world is the unhealthy way. You don't know that a way out exists at all.

    Daydream responsibly.
    Ah. Well in the case of a couple ISFP 4's I've met, its more like they're living in a constant noir.
    @Marmotini

    See that's the part that troubles me. I agree with what you say, however I also feel like, the better mood I am, the more unstable women cling to me to vampire my energy. Shit sucks. Some of them spit really good game so its hard to say no to them because I am legitimately attracted to them as they hide their problems from me. I don't think that makes me unhealthy necessarily.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I think healthy people have bad things happen to them too. It's just that, over time, they produce more good things than bad, and those things are obvious to everyone.
    Right. Good people who have their shit together tend to have a "vibe" about them. A vibe of innocence.

    My ex used to tell me I was too "inexperienced." I think it was a clever way of saying I made her feel like some oldhag. She had really low self esteem and self worth.

  9. #19
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Healthy people admit their faults and talk about how they are feeling (with those they are close to anyway). Healthy people are not clingy-- able to connect and be vulnerable, yes. Clingy and constantly needy of your attention, no. A healthy person is their own person first, they have goals, ideas, passions outside of their significant other.
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  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Ah. Well in the case of a couple ISFP 4's I've met, its more like they're living in a constant noir.
    @Marmotini

    See that's the part that troubles me. I agree with what you say, however I also feel like, the better mood I am, the more unstable women cling to me to vampire my energy. Shit sucks. Some of them spit really good game so its hard to say no to them because I am legitimately attracted to them as they hide their problems from me. I don't think that makes me unhealthy necessarily.
    I don't know. I can't say, I'm not there, but maybe you should examine why you think you're attracting people with "vampire" energy, whether you're playing Captain Save a Ho, or if you're even being insensitive to the feelings of your girlfriends (also not healthy). Just because someone bursts your bubble doesn't make them unhealthy. I'd have to know the context. Other people feeling sad or being offended doesn't make them unhealthy, but you being completely insensitive to it isn't very kind or loving.

    On the other hand, maybe you really are attracting vampires. And maybe you should move more slowly and stop getting so quickly involved with others until you know them.

    Maybe you're having sex with women you barely know too soon, and they're getting more emotionally attached than you are. Or you're even getting emotionally involved too soon, like moving too fast?

    I was also wondering if you think I'm an ISFP 4, by what you said, I'm unclear on the precise reason you mentioned me.

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