[Traditional Enneagram] Family Enneagram Types

[small.wonder]

One of the things I've found myself wondering lately is about Enneagram types within family units. I know there hasn't been much research done on this, but I find it interesting to speculate.

Is is common or rare for a parent and child to be the same type? Do the parent's types effect what the children's types will be? Does an older sibling's type? Thoughts?

My Mother is a 2w3, My Dad is an 8w7, My older brother is a 6 (I think), and I'm a 4w5.

 

[SolitaryWalker]

2w3, 6w5, 5w6

 

[chickpea]

I think my dad is 5w4, and my mom typed herself as a 7w6 although I'm not that sure about it.

 

[Glycerine]

3w2, 9w1, 7w8, 4w5, 6w5 (or w7... never quite sure) CP, 5w6 CP

 

[garbage]

Welcome!

Here's a thing on relationship between parent/child and Enneagram. May or may not be useful or right, but there it is.

My answers were probably different the last time I was polled, but I'm decently confident in these.

• 2w1 sp/so (mom)
• 6w7 so/sp (dad)
• 3w4 so/sp (moi)
• 7w8 sx/so (sis)
• 8w7 so/sx (bro)

Lots o' 7 and 8 all up in this joint. I didn't get any of that; no idea where the hell I came from.

 

[cascadeco]

Me: 5w4 sp/sx (to my best knowledge)
Brother: probably a 9, but might be a 5, sp/so
Mom: either a 1 or 6, sp/??
Dad: either a 1, 5, or 9, so/sp

(I can't cite with certainty any enneagram number for my family, as everyone's relatively closed-off from one another, in terms of *really* knowing each other)

 

[Kayness]

my sister is a 6w5 and my dad is a 5, probably 5w6

 

[Nicki]

6w7 sp/so (dad)
2w3 sp/so (mom)
9w8 sx/so (sister)
3w4 so/sx (me)

 

[RaptorWizard]

dad - 3w4, mom - 4w5

 

[small.wonder]

Thanks for responding guys! So I guess in general, two of the same type in an average sized family is not a common thing.

Thanks bologna, that article is SO interesting! I think the base of what they are saying is true (and makes sense) but life events also must play a huge part.

 

[Newbyagain]

One of the things I've found myself wondering lately is about Enneagram types within family units. I know there hasn't been much research done on this, but I find it interesting to speculate.

Is is common or rare for a parent and child to be the same type? Do the parent's types effect what the children's types will be? Does an older sibling's type? Thoughts?

My Mother is a 2w3, My Dad is an 8w7, My older brother is a 6 (I think), and I'm a 4w5.

I believe your Enneagram type is genetic for various reasons.

I am a 4-5 and don't know my anger type, some people have told me I'm a 4-8. My Dad is a 4-8-5, only a little Five though. One of the aunts on my dad's side is a 4-8. Another aunt is an 8 and another aunt is a 9-3 and a cold, arrogant, bitch. My uncle is a neurotic, judgmental, nazi 1. I can't figure out my grandmother's type. On my mom's side, my Mom is a 2-1-6 and I think she is pretty even in all three types. Her brother is an 8 and even went to prison for being an accomplice or something like that to murder. Her mother is a 9-2 and one of the most evil, cold witches I have ever know. Never brushed my hair or said sweet things to me a day in my life. Jealous and hateful of her own blood.

I think this is supremely interesting. I would love for you to have questions on my family history.

 

[Thalassa]

I don't know if its genetic, but its shaped by environment, I'm sure.

I posted a thread both here and on another personality forum (and incidentally got quite a few responses there and NONE here) about enneagram 6 and "honor cultures" like the American South and Japan, and one poster pointed out how authoritarian both cultures are, and how the Japanese use shame, and hold their children to what we culturally view as excessively strict standards, and how in the South its common to beat and threaten your children (its true, it is, and even being a liberal feminist living in California, something in my Southern upbringing whispers to me that people who don't spank their children are secretly assholes who are asking for it) ...and how this would create a lot of 8s and 3s and 6s in those cultures, because of true dominance (8), ambivalent relationship to authority (6) and need to perform well for others (3).

So I think it is probably largely influenced by upbringing.

 

[Galena]

9w1, 6w5, 9w1, 2w1, 4w5

 

[Entropic]

@Vergil is currently developing a questionnaire exactly pertaining this issue.

Anyway, my dad's a 9w1, most likely so/sp or sp/so, my stepmother could be a 3 or a 6, not entirely sure of either but I lean a bit more strongly towards 6, I am not sure about her instincts but possibly so last and she is not sp first. My stepbrother who is 5 years older is such a raging CP 6w7 so/sx or so/sp he's like the CP 6w7 poster child. I don't know what type my mother was before she died because I was 6 years old. It's also important to note that what probably solidified my type as core 5 and my instincts as sx/sp was because of her death so I am not sure useful that data would be as I am not sure there's a correlation between my parents' type and mine. I'm also adopted.

Other than that, after my mother died, I'm pretty much the 5 poster child in terms of childhood experience. Dad became the emotionally distant parent who buried himself in work and was pretty much never there and my 2w3 so/sp grandmother, with whom I lived together with for most of the part because dad was working night shifts, was doing pretty much the opposite and choked my autonomy. So yeah.

I've been told I was very different as a child; more upbeat and probably quite wild from the little I can remember. Me and my cousin of the same age who possibly got a superego type as her inner child (I think she's an 8, she's always had a lot of explosive anger isuses and she definitely became more withdrawn when she was unhealthy) did a lot of crazy things as children (and apparently I could be pretty mean to her like tossing a lot of water on her when we were bathing in the water pool together so she started to cry lol) and before my mother died, apparently I was the one instigating things. The roles between us pretty much switched after as I became more withdrawn and introverted.

 

[SimpleSauropod]

@Vergil is currently developing a questionnaire exactly pertaining this issue.

Anyway, my dad's a 9w1, most likely so/sp or sp/so, my stepmother could be a 3 or a 6, not entirely sure of either but I lean a bit more strongly towards 6, I am not sure about her instincts but possibly so last and she is not sp first. My stepbrother who is 5 years older is such a raging CP 6w7 so/sx or so/sp he's like the CP 6w7 poster child. I don't know what type my mother was before she died because I was 6 years old. It's also important to note that what probably solidified my type as core 5 and my instincts as sx/sp was because of her death so I am not sure useful that data would be as I am not sure there's a correlation between my parents' type and mine. I'm also adopted.

Other than that, after my mother died, I'm pretty much the 5 poster child in terms of childhood experience. Dad became the emotionally distant parent who buried himself in work and was pretty much never there and my 2w3 so/sp grandmother, with whom I lived together with for most of the part because dad was working night shifts, was doing pretty much the opposite and choked my autonomy. So yeah.

I've been told I was very different as a child; more upbeat and probably quite wild from the little I can remember. Me and my cousin of the same age who possibly got a superego type as her inner child (I think she's an 8, she's always had a lot of explosive anger isuses and she definitely became more withdrawn when she was unhealthy) did a lot of crazy things as children (and apparently I could be pretty mean to her like tossing a lot of water on her when we were bathing in the water pool together so she started to cry lol) and before my mother died, apparently I was the one instigating things. The roles between us pretty much switched after as I became more withdrawn and introverted.

I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience to mine. I also lost my mother pretty young (12) and had a seeming personality switch after she died. From extroverted and hyperactive to quiet and withdrawn. Which I suppose is normal for you to withdraw after a traumatizing event like that, but for me it's been a long time since then and I'm an adult now. I'm left wondering if it altered my personality permanently or if this is what I would've developed like regardless (mainly just for the sake of curiosity).

 

[Entropic]

I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience to mine. I also lost my mother pretty young (12) and had a seeming personality switch after she died. From extroverted and hyperactive to quiet and withdrawn. Which I suppose is normal for you to withdraw after a traumatizing event like that, but for me it's been a long time since then and I'm an adult now. I'm left wondering if it altered my personality permanently or if this is what I would've developed like regardless (mainly just for the sake of curiosity).

I'm 25 so it's been 21 years. I don't think I'm going to change to how I were as a child. It is evident to me this is how I am now and this is my natural personality. I don't know if I had been different during other circumstances but I'll never know. I used to brood more about that as a child.

 

[SimpleSauropod]

I'm 25 so it's been 21 years. I don't think I'm going to change to how I were as a child. It is evident to me this is how I am now and this is my natural personality. I don't know if I had been different during other circumstances but I'll never know. I used to brood more about that as a child.

Yeah, I don't think there's anything we can do to change how we've developed as adults now. And to be fair, I don't dislike how I've developed. I like being myself, even if there are some things I think I can improve upon. I just wonder if some day something might happen to make a hidden under-personality come sprawling out, lol. But our youth is when the major developments happen to our psyche, so that's probably just paranoia.

 

[Entropic]

Yeah, I don't think there's anything we can do to change how we've developed as adults now. And to be fair, I don't dislike how I've developed. I like being myself, even if there are some things I think I can improve upon. I just wonder if some day something might happen to make a hidden under-personality come sprawling out, lol. But our youth is when the major developments happen to our psyche, so that's probably just paranoia.

You say you don't mind but the words you choose imply otherwise, personally. Why even bring this up? I am what I am. Yes, much of our cognitive and personality development occurs in childhood but we also know there are genetic factors involved thanks to twin studies. I just see no use thinking about the possibility it would be different.

 

[SimpleSauropod]

You say you don't mind but the words you choose imply otherwise, personally. Why even bring this up? I am what I am. Yes, much of our cognitive and personality development occurs in childhood but we also know there are genetic factors involved thanks to twin studies. I just see no use thinking about the possibility it would be different.

Which words imply it? And I see little reason to lie about that on a internet forum. I'm a 4-6-9 the seeker, if that helps answer anything.

I was curious if you had any of the same thoughts or wonderings, that's why I brought it up. Maybe get more insight from the experience and see if affected you in the same ways. But it doesn't seem like that's something you'd be interested in, guessing from your responses.

 

[Animal]

Mom: 1w9
Dad: 7w8
Younger Brother (by 2.5 years): 9w1 or 1w9
Me: 8w9

(where's da heart at?)

Edit:
Correction - my brother typed himself at 6w5 and I think the typing is accurate.