User Tag List

First 23456 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 92

  1. #31
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    853 sx/sp
    Posts
    4,983

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by madhatter View Post
    Wow! That's a lot of reactive types right there. How did that go over growing up in that?
    Growing up with so many strong personalities was interesting, to say the least. As my ENFP sister would say, it was like being raised in a wolf pack. I think we managed by having an unspoken rule about personal space that sometimes resulted in my family feeling more like an archipelago than a united entity. That was probably made all the more emphatic by the fact that my sister was the only non-TJ in the house (Mom: INTJ; Dad: ESTJ; Me: ENTJ; Sis: ENFP), so there was no squishy Fe figure there to play go between. Everything was well-ordered. Self-sufficiency and discipline were valued. Expressions of love were very individual and Fi-oriented, but the emphasis from my parents was learning how to be strong and take care of myself and those I loved. My mom always joked that we would be model Klingon offspring.

    I feel like my sister had a rougher time of it, and sought out other Feelers in our family as role models and as sources of the validation my parents might not have offered as readily. She's a hilariously hardcore ENFP, though, as she's more Ne-Te than Ne-Fi due to her upbringing (just in the same way I'm probably a "softer" ENTJ cause I was something of a mediator in our house as a kid). We have fun altogether now that my sister and I are adults, and all love each other very much. I wouldn't trade my family for anything.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  2. #32
    Senior Member madhatter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 so/sp
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    114

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    Growing up with so many strong personalities was interesting, to say the least. As my ENFP sister would say, it was like being raised in a wolf pack. I think we managed by having an unspoken rule about personal space that sometimes resulted in my family feeling more like an archipelago than a united entity. That was probably made all the more emphatic by the fact that my sister was the only non-TJ in the house (Mom: INTJ; Dad: ESTJ; Me: ENTJ; Sis: ENFP), so there was no squishy Fe figure there to play go between. Everything was well-ordered. Self-sufficiency and discipline were valued. Expressions of love were very individual and Fi-oriented, but the emphasis from my parents was learning how to be strong and take care of myself and those I loved. My mom always joked that we would be model Klingon offspring.
    Personal space was a little hard to come by for me growing up. I shared a room with my sister until I was 12, and my mom, 2w1 INFJ, has always been excessively "attentive". I know she loves me, but it took her a long time to understand my need for space. So what you describe sounds kind of ideal.

    Ah, a fellow Klingon: death before dishonor!!

    I feel like my sister had a rougher time of it, and sought out other Feelers in our family as role models and as sources of the validation my parents might not have offered as readily. She's a hilariously hardcore ENFP, though, as she's more Ne-Te than Ne-Fi due to her upbringing (just in the same way I'm probably a "softer" ENTJ cause I was something of a mediator in our house as a kid). We have fun altogether now that my sister and I are adults, and all love each other very much. I wouldn't trade my family for anything.
    My INFP brother is like your sister, in that he is the only non-T child. My sister is ISTJ and I'm ISTP. But he has a lot of thinker "energy", that I think because he's a 6, but also as a pure survival mechanism, with so many thinker family members! But what he does have in common with us is impatience with the squishy Fe of my mother, lol. She is genuinely passive. All of us siblings have tempers, and are as stubborn as oxen. We get the tempers from my ISTP 8 dad, and the stubborn, hard-headed-ness from both my parents. We still all love each other too, even though we get on each other's nerves from time to time. But what I like about that is the honesty we have about our emotions. We get mad and argue, but I think that's healthier than bottling everything up and ignoring that problems exist. That's a problem my sister is having with her husband's family. It's completely different to how we were raised. That's why I find the subject of personality types and family dynamics and environment so fascinating. My family's types are a little more all over the place, but what I enjoy about that is that they all make interesting case studies for my Enneagram research. :P

  3. #33
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9 sx/so
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    1,199

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by madhatter View Post
    But he has a lot of thinker "energy", that I think because he's a 6, but also as a pure survival mechanism, with so many thinker family members!
    How does his thinking manifest?

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Youtuber | The Typologist Blog | Redditor | Message me!

  4. #34
    Senior Member madhatter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 so/sp
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    114

    Default

    @LeaT

    Tried to quote you, but TypoC is lagging big time.

    His thinking manifests in that he is very intellectual. But on the other hand, it's a very 6-ish energy of the constant worrying and second-guessing himself, and also the sceptical nature that 6s exude at times.

  5. #35
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    5 sx
    Posts
    506

    Default

    me - 9w1 so/sx
    mom - 2w3 so/sx
    dad - 1w2 so/sp
    brother - 7w(6?) s?/s? - he has serious cognitive and behavioral issues due to a disorder, so he's hard to type.

    as far as extended family, I have a feeling that 2s, 6s and social-firsts are rampant on my mom's side. a 4 or 8 social-last would feel incredibly out of place.

    this article theorizes that instinctual variant was a result of upbringing:

    We are quite cognizant of the debate on the relative contributions of nature versus nurture towards the development of personality. We have become convinced that nature determines type, but nurture determines health within the type, and interestingly also determines variant (Social, Sexual, and Self-preservation). We have formed a theory on the environmental basis of variant, and are developing a testing instrument to test our hypothesis.

    Our theory is that variant is determined in the first 18-24 months, and relates to the organization of the family unit and its health. Specifically we believe that social variant types were raised in households with multiple "care-givers" such as is seen in multigenerational home settings more common in the past, and split care families common these days where a child may be raised in multiple homes with multiple "Moms, and Dads" due to divorce and economic influences.

    Sexual variant people, we believe, are products of either "Traditional" homes with Mom, Dad, and 1.5 kids, or in single parent households with strong generally healthy ties with the "primary care-giver".

    Finally, self-preservation variant types are, we believe, those who for whatever reason, death, illness, disruption, or sibling displacement had a problem with their relationship with their "Primary care-giver(s)" during the critical (18-24 month) period of development of their variant.

    We believe that variant is likely a cultural by-product. Pre-historic humans were generally organized into either nomadic or agrarian communities. In many nomadic cultures, each family unit predominantly fends for itself, so the children in those families would carry a survival advantage if they formed tight bonds with their mother. In agrarian communities the family unit was frequently multigenerational, so the children in those families carry a survival advantage if they can "hang" with the social group. In either of these settings if there was some disruption or dysfunction in the relationship of the child with its caregivers, then the child would have a survival advantage if it could fend for itself. We believe that variant is therefore determined in the first 18-24 months and depends on the child's home environment. This would explain why there is a preponderance of certain variants in different cultures around the world depending on the dominant family organization within that culture.
    and this holds water at least when compared to my experience. I'm curious how others relate.

  6. #36
    Member PrettyWoman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    MBTI
    E..P
    Enneagram
    728 sx/so
    Socionics
    ?
    Posts
    45

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    One of the things I've found myself wondering lately is about Enneagram types within family units. I know there hasn't been much research done on this, but I find it interesting to speculate.

    Is is common or rare for a parent and child to be the same type? Do the parent's types effect what the children's types will be? Does an older sibling's type? Thoughts?
    No idea whether this is actually true but I'd assume it was more likely for the child to have a different type than his parents have. My own super small empirical data supports this assumption but like I said, no idea really.

    Anyways, I think I'm 7 and neither of my parents has 7 even in tritype.
    Johari Nohari

    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Big Five: Inquisitive
    Brain Lateralization: Right brain
    Friends: Phoebe
    MOTIV: Offbeat
    MTG Color: Red/Blue
    Multiple intelligences: Linguistic > Mathematical > Kinesthetic...
    My Little Pony: Rainbow Dash
    Oldham style: Mercurial > Idiosyncratic...
    R-Drive: Dynamism > Vitality > Hedonism...
    Temperaments: Sanguine
    Trifix: 7w6, 2w3, 8w7
    VisualDNA: Seeker

  7. #37
    Fair and Square Flatlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    MBTI
    iNtj
    Enneagram
    582 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyWoman View Post
    No idea whether this is actually true but I'd assume it was more likely for the child to have a different type than his parents have.
    Depends on the child, wouldn't you say? Some children define themselves in stark opposition to their parents, especially if the parents aren't present or taking care of them properly or they are strikingly deficient in some way. Some define themselves in accordance with who their parents are, using them as role models implicitly (the 5 with equally withdrawn parent[s]) or even explicitly ("I wanna be like daddy when I grow up!"). And so on, you can even find the two styles overlapping in the sense that when you define yourself like your parents you learn better from their examples and can live differently, or when you define yourself in opposition you might become just like them with age anyhow. Also there are clearly possibilities extraneous to what I've mentioned. But you won't ever find a child whose type formed without some kind of influence from nurture.

    Out of curiosity, then, what are your parents like (even in non-enneagram terms) and how do you think their rearing influenced you as a child, to think and grow up as you did? (Wonder if I should start a new thread in that vein, it seems a potentially evocative question.)

    Edit to clarify from my earlier post, I've been thinking I was wrong about my brother's type and he's a 1w9 with a significant 6 fix.
    Thinking must serve the thinker.

  8. #38
    Member PrettyWoman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    MBTI
    E..P
    Enneagram
    728 sx/so
    Socionics
    ?
    Posts
    45

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Flatlander View Post
    Depends on the child, wouldn't you say? Some children define themselves in stark opposition to their parents, especially if the parents aren't present or taking care of them properly or they are strikingly deficient in some way. Some define themselves in accordance with who their parents are, using them as role models implicitly (the 5 with equally withdrawn parent[s]) or even explicitly ("I wanna be like daddy when I grow up!"). And so on, you can even find the two styles overlapping in the sense that when you define yourself like your parents you learn better from their examples and can live differently, or when you define yourself in opposition you might become just like them with age anyhow. Also there are clearly possibilities extraneous to what I've mentioned. But you won't ever find a child whose type formed without some kind of influence from nurture.

    Out of curiosity, then, what are your parents like (even in non-enneagram terms) and how do you think their rearing influenced you as a child, to think and grow up as you did? (Wonder if I should start a new thread in that vein, it seems a potentially evocative question.)

    Edit to clarify from my earlier post, I've been thinking I was wrong about my brother's type and he's a 1w9 with a significant 6 fix.
    This is pure intuition but I'd assume that it would not be wise to choose the same survival strategy than your parent has. The strength of that one particular strategy is not getting much stronger but the approach is not getting wider either, no new potential tools into the toolcase. I'd assume that a combination of several strategies gives the maximum strength and survival and thus maximum happiness.

    Even if a child would be inclined to define himself in accordance with his parents, that wouldn't necessarily mean sharing that type. I could easily see 9s do that no matter what type the parent is just to accommodate and avoid conflicts. Or 3s to acquire love. Etc.

    Of course there probably are several parent-child-pairs that do share the type but I don't think it is any trend. If there is any trend it could be sharing the type less likely than having any other type.

    My parents are both introverted (I'm extraverted), non-expressive (I'm expressive), neutral or negative (I'm positive), dispassionate (I'm very passionate), slow or reluctant about changes (I'm very enthusiastic about changes) and not much into socializing (I love going out and meeting people, old or new to me).

    Because of those, I tend to find them both a bit dull but otherwise they're just great, nothing negative to say, neither bothered to restrict or control me too much and I'm really thankful for that! I was allowed to do what I wanted and satisfy myself. Only when I was older I realized how I felt I always needed to stay positive and try to cheer them up too and I got kind of stuck with that super positive and enthusiastic role and couldn't tell them pretty much anything negative. Usually I even didn't recognize those feelings in myself, just kept escaping and ignoring and I'm really good at ignoring all the negative but I would have needed them to help me deal with all that.
    Johari Nohari

    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Big Five: Inquisitive
    Brain Lateralization: Right brain
    Friends: Phoebe
    MOTIV: Offbeat
    MTG Color: Red/Blue
    Multiple intelligences: Linguistic > Mathematical > Kinesthetic...
    My Little Pony: Rainbow Dash
    Oldham style: Mercurial > Idiosyncratic...
    R-Drive: Dynamism > Vitality > Hedonism...
    Temperaments: Sanguine
    Trifix: 7w6, 2w3, 8w7
    VisualDNA: Seeker

  9. #39
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,657

    Default

    ISFJ Mom: 6w5 sp-so (612)
    ENTP Dad: 7w8 so-sx (738)
    INTP Brother: 9w8 sp-so (954)
    ENTP Brother: 7w8 so-sx (792)
    ENFP Me: 4dw sx-so (497)

    ...I think

    Not nearly as confident about my enneagram typing skills as I am about my MBTI ones, but I think that is about right.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #40
    Fair and Square Flatlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    MBTI
    iNtj
    Enneagram
    582 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    124

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyWoman View Post
    This is pure intuition but I'd assume that it would not be wise to choose the same survival strategy than your parent has. The strength of that one particular strategy is not getting much stronger but the approach is not getting wider either, no new potential tools into the toolcase. I'd assume that a combination of several strategies gives the maximum strength and survival and thus maximum happiness.

    Even if a child would be inclined to define himself in accordance with his parents, that wouldn't necessarily mean sharing that type. I could easily see 9s do that no matter what type the parent is just to accommodate and avoid conflicts. Or 3s to acquire love. Etc.

    Of course there probably are several parent-child-pairs that do share the type but I don't think it is any trend. If there is any trend it could be sharing the type less likely than having any other type.

    My parents are both introverted (I'm extraverted), non-expressive (I'm expressive), neutral or negative (I'm positive), dispassionate (I'm very passionate), slow or reluctant about changes (I'm very enthusiastic about changes) and not much into socializing (I love going out and meeting people, old or new to me).

    Because of those, I tend to find them both a bit dull but otherwise they're just great, nothing negative to say, neither bothered to restrict or control me too much and I'm really thankful for that! I was allowed to do what I wanted and satisfy myself. Only when I was older I realized how I felt I always needed to stay positive and try to cheer them up too and I got kind of stuck with that super positive and enthusiastic role and couldn't tell them pretty much anything negative. Usually I even didn't recognize those feelings in myself, just kept escaping and ignoring and I'm really good at ignoring all the negative but I would have needed them to help me deal with all that.
    The question is, though, how in-control of your own survival strategy are you as a child? Does every child have the observational prowess required to say "My parents are X, I will grow up to be Y because I don't want to be X"? And actually enact that strategy, willfully? I didn't think I was deciding to be like anyone when I was a kid. I didn't realize that I was even deciding anything outwardly, especially in a Judging sense - I wasn't aware of much outside my own mind. Others may be more aware of the world outside them and define themselves more consciously in regard to it.

    That being said, there is no "better" survival strategy here regarding how nurture impacts you as a child, except what you can see from retrospect through a more grown-up, rational mind. People will be drawn to adapt to family in different ways - perhaps you saw something in your situation that made it advantageous for you to fill in a gap with your personality, but now you take that experience and generalize it where it isn't completely generalizable. For me, at first, I wasn't thinking about my father's strategy consciously, though he had some pointers later on that helped me develop the 9 fix - it just seemed advantageous to become secretive and not let my parents in on my world, and my strategy proved workable - I defended myself from intrusion later into life, escaped being a familial automaton, and I still have capability they will never know about unless they press me.
    Thinking must serve the thinker.

Similar Threads

  1. [Enne] Your enneagram type
    By Maverick in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 554
    Last Post: 11-26-2017, 01:56 PM
  2. [Enne] INFJs: what's your enneagram type?
    By Evan in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 207
    Last Post: 07-07-2017, 11:11 PM
  3. MBTI and Enneagram types of your friends and family
    By Aphex in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 12-30-2014, 05:33 PM
  4. Trouble Enneagram-Typing Yourself? Come To Papa
    By Ezra in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 152
    Last Post: 08-12-2010, 02:20 AM
  5. Can Variant Determine Enneagram Type?
    By "?" in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-28-2007, 05:57 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO