People try to make 4s out to be hysterical drama queens. 4s are emotional people but they don't necessarily wear their heart on their sleeves. I'm far more emotionally contained than almost everyone I've met. And it's not just the 4w5s; look at Lady Gaga (a 4w3). She's so chill, composed and not very emotionally demonstrative at all.
I also dislike conflict but I can cope with it better than a 9 - and it's only under extreme circumstances that I become combative and childish.