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Instinctual variant and relationships

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
2,910
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I have a theory that the best combo is for you both to share first instincts but have opposing second instincts. For example, I'm a so/sp and I'm attracted to so/sx.
 

Zarathustra

Let Go Of Your Team
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
8,110
I think there is truth to these things. The dominant instinct is not a strength. It is a weakness - like a distortion. It would seem like there would be a great deal of intensity between two sx doms but the two wouldn't help each other to moderate that weakness and so it might not be good for the long term. I wonder if you could end up with two people who are co-dependent and don't have sufficient boundaries. So maybe it is better for the dominant to match up with the secondary - as you say - an sx/sp with an so/sx or something like that.

I think you meant sp/sx with that last bit. (Edit: Actually, I think I may have read you wrong the first time.)

I don't necessarily agree with the underlined, though, cuz, while I think the dominant is a weakness, I think it's also a strength.

I think the greatest weakness is really the weakest of your instincts, while the overabundance of the dominant works in conjunction with the weakest instinct to cause problems in that specific area.

I have a theory that the best combo is for you both to share first instincts but have opposing second instincts. For example, I'm a so/sp and I'm attracted to so/sx.

I agree.

I think it goes something like this:

Best: 1/2/3 with 1/3/2.
In between: 1/2/3 with 1/2/3, 2/1/3, and 3/1/2.
Worst: 1/2/3 with 3/2/1/ and 2/3/1.​

As such:

Best: sx/so with sx/sp.
In between: sx/so with sx/so, so/sx, and sp/sx.
Worst: sx/so with sp/so and so/sp.

Best: sx/sp with sx/so.
In between: sx/sp with sx/sp, sp/sx, and so/sx.
Worst: sx/sp with so/sp and sp/so.

Best: so/sx with so/sp.
In between: so/sx with so/sx, sx/so, sp/sx.
Worst: so/sx with sp/so and so/sp.

Best: so/sp with so/sx.
In between: so/sx with so/sx, sp/so, and sp/so.
Worst: so/sx with sp/sx and sx/sp.

Best: sp/sx with sp/so.
In between: sp/sx with sp/sx, sx/sp, and so/sp.
Worst: sp/sx with so/sc and sx/so.

Best: sp/so with sp/sx.
In between: sp/so with sp/so, so/sp, and sx/sp.
Worst: sp/so with sx/so and so/sx.​

I don't know if this is necessarily true, but it is a rationalistic formula.
 
Last edited:

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
3,031
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I was looking around the site [MENTION=15799]acronach[/MENTION] posted: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/133-Instinctual-Stackings

It seems valid enough.

Flow of Instinctual Energies & Compatibility

When we invest our energy, most of it is devoted to fulfillment of our primary instinct. The remaining energy radiates or flows onto the secondary instinct and finally - onto the last instinct, which receives the smallest share. There are two possible configurations or directions for this flow. In first configuration, energy is invested in the order of sx→sp→so→sx. This direction gives rise to three stackings: sx/sp, sp/so, so/sx. In the second configuration, energy is invested in the order of sx→so→sp→sx, which gives rise to the other three stackings: sx/so, so/sp and sp/sx.

Syn-flow: sp→so→sx→sp
Stackings involved: sp/so→so/sx→>sx/sp→sp/so
Direction: Compelled toward people. Acting upon and with others as a born insider i.e.- deeply human.

Contra-flow: sp→sx→so→sp
Stackings involved: sp/sx→sx/so→so/sp→sp/sx
Direction: Compelled against people. Seething belligerent outsiders; 'antisocial', provoking, reverse-flow change catalysts. In some profound sense, rejecting the human condition, their own and/or that of others.

The two flows move in the opposite directions. This antithesis can be seen if the instinctual stackings are compared in pairs:

so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving
sx/so - confronting, rebuffing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, contradicting, subverting, excluding, eliminating

sx/sp - intensifying, escalating, enlivening, invigorating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting
sp/sx - dulling, grounding, exhausting, deadening, desiccating, making still, calming, quieting, dampening, numbing, desensitizing

sp/so - conserving, protecting, maintaining, preserving, supplying, repairing, sustaining, stewarding
so/sp - using, employing, implementing, utilizing, appropriating, expending, exercising, capitalizing

It is hypothesized that people with stackings that are part of same flow progression generally have smoother interaction since they are channeling their energies in the same direction. Such interactions have the potential to cover for one's blindspot instinct as well as reinforce one's own instinctual energy flow. For instance, if your stacking is sx/sp, moving energy from sx->sp->so, then someone with sp/so stacking will be reinforcing to your weaker sp->so link as well as covering for your social-last blind spot.

So I would assume for a person like me, a longer lasting relationship would be better off with SP/SX or SO/SP or another SX/SO(I think that is too much heat and not enough grounded-ness though.)
 

Reverie

In orbit
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
291
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx
What would discipline needed to clean one's house have to do with one's sex/social/self-preservational drive combination?

What about just one's desire to live in a clean place?
Well I do live in a clean place dear, It's rather neither me or my husband like to clean etc. very much because we're much heavily invested in our our areas of interest. I'd much rather read a good book, work or be out and about than play little hausfrau. General household maintenance type of things are to me an annoyance rather than something I like to do, same goes for my husband.
You might want to ask Zarathustra what he meant. That's what I thought he was referring to. Maybe not.

EDIT:
Self Pres people instinctively avoid certain foods and environments, and are likewise drawn to those things that nourish and sustain them. Sp's have a strong reaction against things that threaten to harm their comfort or health.
http://ocean-moonshine.net/e1428573...er_op=view_page&PAGE_id=42&MMN_position=80:80

I can tell from experience that neither of us are what you'd call "homebodies". Before we had kids we were both touring musicians with erratic lifestyle, spending long stretches travelling. In those circumstances conditions vary quite alot and you eat what's there when you have time. That's no problem. I'd suspect that it would be for an sp.
In home life it translates to me as a lack of a "nesting instinct". Before we had children our apartment looked like a toolbox/rehearsal room and we mostly ate takeouts because it was convenient as we were doing other things. I personally feel that type of traditional domesticity is challenging for us, though we obviously have had to adjust to having a family because of the imperative of providing a stable domestic setting for the children. It's not a natural priority for either though and is taxing.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
That is one of the more interesting things I've seen in a while.
At the bottom of that reference, I found this rather unflattering tidbit:

sp/sx - The World of Hell - anti-cultural solipsism, the counterculture, the underground
 

Burger King

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2011
Messages
338
I think there is truth to these things. The dominant instinct is not a strength. It is a weakness - like a distortion. It would seem like there would be a great deal of intensity between two sx doms but the two wouldn't help each other to moderate that weakness and so it might not be good for the long term. I wonder if you could end up with two people who are co-dependent and don't have sufficient boundaries. So maybe it is better for the dominant to match up with the secondary - as you say - an sx/sp with an so/sx or something like that.

Yea, I've seen someone somewhere described it like this:

Dominant Instinct - Too hot (too much awareness, it causes problems)
Secondary Instinct - Just right
Weakest Instinct - Too cold (too little awareness, it causes problems)

Naturally, like some things suggested here, we want someone to have our weakest instinct at secondary to balance. Makes sense. All theory of course.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think double sx/so relationships have too little sp, and they won't handle the necessary shit everyone needs to get done.

I think sx dom's probably want another sx dom, tho, cuz, otherwise, they'll feel like the depth of merging/connection is missing.

As such, I think sx/so probably goes best with sx/sp, but maybe sp/sx and so/sx could work, especially if the aux is close in strength to the dom.

I don't see an sx dom being satisfied in a relationship with an sp/so or so/sp, with sx last, cuz the sx dom's desired level of merger would be missing.

I'm not sure if a similar issue holds true for double sx/sp relationships, though... sx/sp's, is there an analogus problem these couples face?

I mean, I imagine it would have something to do with not socializing or what not, but, I dunno, I'd rather hear directly from sx/sp's...

As for the so firsts and sp firsts, same thing: I don't have the data, so I'd rather hear other peoples' thoughts/experiences.

I think Sx first and Sx second often work well together.
 

Zarathustra

Let Go Of Your Team
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
8,110
I think Sx first and Sx second often work well together.

Yeah, I think that might be the case as well.

Do you think sx/so goes better with sp/sx or so/sx, though?

The problem I see with so/sx is that sp is still last for both of them.

I also don't think that sx/so with either of them is better than with sx/sp.

I considered whether sx/so with sp/sx and/or so/sx might be better than sx/so.

I wasn't sure about that answer yet, so I left it up for future thinking by just grouping them together.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Yeah, I think that might be the case as well.
Do you think sx/so goes better with sp/sx or so/sx, though?
The problem I see with so/sx is that sp is still last for both of them.
I also don't know that sx/so with either of them is better than with sx/sp.
I considered whether sx/so with sp/sx and/or so/sx might be better than sx/so.
I wasn't sure about that answer yet, so I left it up for future thinking by just grouping them together.

I'd say Sx/So and Sp/Sx could work well together (though I confess I don't think I'd enjoy being with an Sx/So lol)
oddly enough, I'm Sp/Sx and work very well with certain So/Sx types. something about them is so mysterious to me even though they're probably the most "normal" type.
 

xpersephonex

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2011
Messages
41
I was looking around the site [MENTION=15799]acronach[/MENTION] posted: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/133-Instinctual-Stackings

It seems valid enough.



So I would assume for a person like me, a longer lasting relationship would be better off with SP/SX or SO/SP or another SX/SO(I think that is too much heat and not enough grounded-ness though.)

This chart is right on the mark. I've actually only ever dated so/sp and sx/so types. I've noticed I seem to have more influential power over these types than with any other types I've befriended.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't necessarily agree with the underlined, though, cuz, while I think the dominant is a weakness, I think it's also a strength.

I think the greatest weakness is really the weakest of your instincts, while the overabundance of the dominant works in conjunction with the weakest instinct to cause problems in that specific area.

Maybe I misunderstood your earlier post. I don't think the most preferred instinct is a strength. From a match standpoint, I'm conflicted on this Sx + Sx, So + So, Sp + Sp idea. On the one hand, it sounds appealing. On the other hand, by definition, if the most preferred instinct is overused, represents a lack of balance, is not properly utilized, etc. - then two people together who overuse something would be less "functional".

Per this link

"Claudio Naranjo describes the dominant instinct as a “weakness which looks like a strength.” By this, he seems to have meant that, as the dominant instinct is overdeveloped, it certainly will attend to the needs associated with that instinct; in this sense it appears to be a strength. But, as the instinct is unbalanced and guided by a fixated personality, it is not being properly utilized, and, in this disturbed state often does not actually best serve the overall interests of the individual who is in its grip."
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
4,455
MBTI Type
3h50
Am I correct in understanding that your dominant instinct is the one most affected by your core type fixation?
 
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