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  1. #1
    Senior Member acronach's Avatar
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    Default Putting the missing piece theory to practical use

    For those of you who don't know about the missing piece: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...-Missing-Piece

    Kinda been brainstorming this lately. I'm interested in what you guys do for stress-relief and how it corresponds with this theory. For example, when I hate life, I usually stay up late, blare rock music, and dance around like an idiot :3 and it usually puts me in a surprisingly awesome mood (I'm type 5, my missing piece is 7). What do you guys do?

    Input? comments?
    Enneagram: Type 5, Dual Wing, SX/SP Instinct, Tritype 5-3w2-9w8
    MBTI: INTP

    Like a Baws

    Introverted (I) 57.14% Extroverted (E) 42.86%
    Intuitive (N) 63.16% Sensing (S) 36.84%
    Thinking (T) 70.37% Feeling (F) 29.63%
    Perceiving (P) 56.61% Judging (J) 43.39%

  2. #2
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Type Six needs most to learn from Three to be inner directed and to have real self-esteem.
    Soooo agreed. In terms of stress relief, though, I think 3 isn't really the type I move to. Rather, 6 integrates towards 9 - and I certainly fit the bill in terms of loving soothing sensual pleasure - my favorite being massage. I also surround myself with positive inspirations and read fantasy stories with happy endings.

    As for the "missing piece", I think that's really interesting! I'm really working hard on developing my ego right now (6 is soooo superego-driven), and I think that it's true that 6 needs to learn how to decide what they desire, for oneself, and how to set a course to go about obtaining that. I think there is a similar parallel with superego-driven 2 and ego-driven 8, with 2 needing to learn how to claim their own personal feelings and how to pursue their own needs.

    For me, though, 3 has always come out when I am helping others with their goals - I become very driven, confident, and self-assured. I assume that's because helping someone else takes the pressure off in terms of me having to decide the "what I want" part of things, which is hardest for me, and as such my root fear is essentially eliminated. Now if I could only be like that in terms of my own goals! :]

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    This seems interesting but I can't really read that site due to the blue background. :/

    And I know what I do during stress but I don't think it's healthy at all... Im noticing it a lot lately how I distract distract distract constantly... I'm chaotic and unfocused and right now feel like I'm sitting in the middle of a tornado with my eyes tightly shut. It's no good.

    I definitely need to figure out some healthy coping strategies right about now.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #4
    Senior Member acronach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    This seems interesting but I can't really read that site due to the blue background. :/

    And I know what I do during stress but I don't think it's healthy at all... Im noticing it a lot lately how I distract distract distract constantly... I'm chaotic and unfocused and right now feel like I'm sitting in the middle of a tornado with my eyes tightly shut. It's no good.

    I definitely need to figure out some healthy coping strategies right about now.
    I know life sucks sometimes, and its hard to get out of a rut once you're in it, but just remember that the only thing certain about life is that time keeps moving on weather you want it to or not. Whatever's going wrong right now, it'll pass and better things will come. Good luck with whatever you're dealing with.

    This is from the site.

    We have discovered that the healthy Levels, especially Level 1, of the type in the Direction of Disintegration indicate what our type most needs for our personal development. Under normal circumstances, we tend to act out in the Direction of Disintegration because we unconsciously know that what we need for our healing and wholeness is symbolized by that type—even though we cannot yet fully integrate that quality into our personality structure. When we become more healthy, however, we also begin to be in the position to access and claim our most needed qualities—to seize the capstone of our psyche, as it were....

    ...Type Seven needs most to learn from One to accept life as it is, and to live for a higher purpose.
    Enneagram: Type 5, Dual Wing, SX/SP Instinct, Tritype 5-3w2-9w8
    MBTI: INTP

    Like a Baws

    Introverted (I) 57.14% Extroverted (E) 42.86%
    Intuitive (N) 63.16% Sensing (S) 36.84%
    Thinking (T) 70.37% Feeling (F) 29.63%
    Perceiving (P) 56.61% Judging (J) 43.39%

  5. #5
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Yes! I've been doing this for a few years now; when I realized how much potential that the enneagram had for self improvement. I've been thinking about getting "in sync" with 3 and learning from 6, to become more balanced and assert myself more. And to overall exist more, get what I want more, which was a challenge as a 9. A lot of people type me as a counter-phobic 6 now because I've been working on myself so much.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  6. #6
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    If im stressed I internally occupy myself and will myself to keep on pushing, all the while letting my mind work through the problem until it goes *ding* and the internal microwave presents the answer, at which point im happy again having moved past or understood something about either myself or others.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  7. #7
    Senior Member acronach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Yes! I've been doing this for a few years now; when I realized how much potential that the enneagram had for self improvement. I've been thinking about getting "in sync" with 3 and learning from 6, to become more balanced and assert myself more. And to overall exist more, get what I want more, which was a challenge as a 9. A lot of people type me as a counter-phobic 6 now because I've been working on myself so much.
    i know what you mean with this. I've been trying to make myself a more social person overall, its hard and i still need some time to myself, but when I'm around people I like to think I'm pretty fun to be with :P
    Enneagram: Type 5, Dual Wing, SX/SP Instinct, Tritype 5-3w2-9w8
    MBTI: INTP

    Like a Baws

    Introverted (I) 57.14% Extroverted (E) 42.86%
    Intuitive (N) 63.16% Sensing (S) 36.84%
    Thinking (T) 70.37% Feeling (F) 29.63%
    Perceiving (P) 56.61% Judging (J) 43.39%

  8. #8
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    I think many 3s and 5s could probably teach me a lot, but 1s? no. the missing piece for type 7 is not "living for a higher purpose" it's being able to plan for the future and secure what you want long term instead of either living moment to moment (Sensor 7s) or being stuck in your head (Intuitive 7s)
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    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
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  9. #9
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    I'd think that everyone has something to learn from every healthy Enneagram type; I don't think the "missing piece" is special to our direction of disintegration. Honestly, I think this particular extension of the theory is reaching just a lil' bit.

  10. #10
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Thank you for posting that, @acronach.

    This article mirrors some of my own thinking lately, starting actually with the article you posted not too long ago about most common enneagram marriage types. Specifically, I think @highlander asked something to the effect of whether it could be harmful for someone to marry along the path of their disintegration, which got me mulling the subject.

    I arrived at basically what this article pointed out. Considering the process of integration as less of a path per se, but more of a triangle where both legs contribute to an optimal self. The disintegration point shows where the deficit is and where the real work needs to be done. As a 9, my issue is complacency, and it would be easy enough for me to fake 3 without addressing this underlying problem. The antidote really is in the 6s perspective, which at it's heart is about taking nothing for granted.

    For a 9, the process of integrating that lesson is excruciating, because to do it any justice we have to "unmerge". It's biting the apple and knowing a self distinct from the Source. It's to be truly aware for the first time of self with its limitations and its questions and its confusions. It's to be suddenly responsible for all that frailty where before there was nothing.

    How we deal with that responsibility is what decides us. Even if we run, we can't un-know, so the options open to us are the kind of self-inflicted oblivion of the unhealthiest levels of our type. If we stick it out, I'd like to believe that what happens is a rediscovery of faith. Going back to the Fall analogy, we don't get a pass back to Eden, but are restored to our relationship with the Source as separate, thinking and actualized individuals. This jives with the Level 1 description:

    Level 1 (At Their Best): Become self-possessed, feeling autonomous and fulfilled: have great equanimity and contentment because they are present to themselves. Paradoxically, at one with self, and thus able to form more profound relationships. Intensely alive, fully connected to self and others.
    Anyways, I brought up @highlander's post simply because I think that interacting with someone whose type matches your point of disintegration can be a catalyst for this kind of growth in a way that even someone at your integration point cannot. For the simple fact that I mentioned before that the actual work seems to take place at the disintegration point. Similar to what @skylights was getting at, the integration point is about comfort. It feels good for me to be around 3s because I can simply merge with their stronger sense of identity, go along with whatever program they've come up with, and keep on truckin' as my usual self-effacing and complacent self. There's certainly grounds for compatibility there, but it smacks of the easy way out.

    Sorry for the lengthy post. This stuff has been rolling around my head lately, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to be able to collect in one place. I'd be particularly curious what fellow 9s @BlackCat's and @Mia.'s thoughts are.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

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