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Ego denying vs ego embracing types

Elfboy

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there seems to be a correlation with types that embrace their ego vs types that deny their ego

embrace: 1s, female 2s, 4s, 5s, male 8s
deny: male 2s, 3s, 6s, female 8s
in between: 7s, 9s
 

Viridian

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fixation basically

Isn't the point of Enneagram that you deny your fixation, though? Didn't you say this not too long ago, that E-Type descriptions were supposed to make you feel a kind of uncomfortable familiarity?

My mom, who is a psychiatrist, once said that psychological disorders are, up to a point, always about skewed perception in some way. I think I see what she meant now.
 

Elfboy

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Isn't the point of Enneagram that you deny your fixation, though? Didn't you say this not too long ago, that E-Type descriptions were supposed to make you feel a kind of uncomfortable familiarity?
My mom, who is a psychiatrist, once said that psychological disorders are, up to a point, always about skewed perception in some way. I think I see what she meant now.

to a point yes, but some types tend to pick up on their's much faster than others. 5s for instance are usually pretty quick to realize "yup, I over analyze/over intellectualize things" 3s on the other hand....not so much
 

Viridian

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to a point yes, but some types tend to pick up on their's much faster than others. 5s for instance are usually pretty quick to realize "yup, I over analyze/over intellectualize things" 3s on the other hand....not so much

Point taken.
 

Artemistry

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In terms of a female 8's denial vs male 8's embracing: I think a lot of this is cultural. A male 8's qualities are accepted, even encouraged - the strong warrior type, who will kick the ass of anyone who gets in their way. Female 8's = vengeful bitch type, who will walk all over you to get what she wants/eat you alive. Just as I resent that I have to constantly suppress my nature (and oh, the energy it takes to pull my intensity back and in), I am sure there are guys who struggle with the energy needed trying to be the strong warrior when they really just want to be the scholarly mystic.
 

Viridian

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How exactly do Threes deny their ego?

By self-identifying in accordance to some sort of external standard of "achievement", I imagine.

"I am successful! I am a pioneer! I am a visionary! I am a heartthrob! I am a star! I am... I am... who am I?!"
 

Lady_X

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And 7's are in between because we're just chasing our own tails at once to and away from something( us)
Or what?

And nines are merging so becoming part of something else not just being who they are

Is that what you mean?
 

Elfboy

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And 7's are in between because we're just chasing our own tails at once to and away from something( us)
Or what?

And nines are merging so becoming part of something else not just being who they are

Is that what you mean?

precisely
 

UsurpersGonnaUsurp

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In terms of a female 8's denial vs male 8's embracing: I think a lot of this is cultural. A male 8's qualities are accepted, even encouraged - the strong warrior type, who will kick the ass of anyone who gets in their way. Female 8's = vengeful bitch type, who will walk all over you to get what she wants/eat you alive. Just as I resent that I have to constantly suppress my nature (and oh, the energy it takes to pull my intensity back and in), I am sure there are guys who struggle with the energy needed trying to be the strong warrior when they really just want to be the scholarly mystic.

Well put, though I don't think all female 8s deny their ego.
 

Elfboy

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How exactly do Threes deny their ego?

the vice of 3 is deceit. they try to put up a flawless image and then deny that they are anything but that flawless image in reality
 

UsurpersGonnaUsurp

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the vice of 3 is deceit. they try to put up a flawless image and then deny that they are anything but that flawless image in reality

Just to add on, it's a subconscious process meaning it's just below the scope of conscious action. 3s unknowingly do it, all the time, and fail to recognize (even to themselves) the gaps between ideal self and real self. So you've got a person who's unknowingly parading around projecting an image but not truly fully embodying it.

To accept their ego is to realize they are not who they think they are. To not be who they think they are is to be less than adequate. To be less than adequate is to be unloved and unaccepted, the core fears of a type 3.


A good and extreme example is Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. He paraded around doing everything in his power to uphold and market his image of being a brave, courageous hero with impressive skills. But secretly, he did none of the things he claimed to do and was a total wuss. He was subconsciously aware of this, but never really payed attention to it because upholding his image was more important than recognizing his true self.
 

skylights

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I don't know about female 8s - two I know well are pretty strong ego-wise. Both of them are quite up-front about being aggressive and confrontational as a means of protecting themselves from being controlled. It's more clear with the 8w9 and less with the 8w7, who is more scattered and externally engaged.
 
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