User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 27

  1. #1
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    HUMR
    Enneagram
    6 sx
    Socionics
    iNfp Ni
    Posts
    1,521

    Question Etype and Parental Orientation

    1) Do you find your type matching up with the parental orientation theory?

    Reference:
    http://pstypes.blogspot.com/2010/01/...types-law.html


    2) If ones parental orientation changed later in life, do you think it would directly impact the e-type (moving to growth/stress point) or even changing the type all around? Have you experienced this?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #2
    011235813
    Guest

    Default

    e9, neutral child vs. active parent (mom)
    Works for me.

    My dad is definitely a fellow neutral and e5 is the second most important part of my trifix, so that works, I guess? He played a negligible role parenting though, so I dunno.

    I think these traits probably stack up though, just like instinctual variants. Like, my mom is active/responsive/neutral with active just edging out responsive. I'm neutral/responsive, dad would be neutral/active, etc.

  3. #3
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    748 sx/so
    Posts
    1,489

    Default

    stimmt

    "Active child vs. Responsive parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 7

    The demands and concerns of the Active child are usually received with benevolence and a supportive, encouraging attitude. This creates a tolerant environment in which the child can express himself openly and receive attention without much effort from his part. The Active child becomes self-confident, carefree and expects his interactions to be positive and favorable to his needs. The Responsive parent is sympathetic and loving, thus stimulating the child's playful, self-expressive side and giving him a good deal of personal freedom.

    This childhood scenario promotes a cheerful, optimistic type who knows how to charm and manipulate others into easily getting his way. Entertaining and expressive, such a child may later expect instant gratification for all his needs and desires and avoid investing time and effort into long-term goals."

  4. #4
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    stimmt

    "Active child vs. Responsive parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 7

    The demands and concerns of the Active child are usually received with benevolence and a supportive, encouraging attitude. This creates a tolerant environment in which the child can express himself openly and receive attention without much effort from his part. The Active child becomes self-confident, carefree and expects his interactions to be positive and favorable to his needs. The Responsive parent is sympathetic and loving, thus stimulating the child's playful, self-expressive side and giving him a good deal of personal freedom.

    This childhood scenario promotes a cheerful, optimistic type who knows how to charm and manipulate others into easily getting his way. Entertaining and expressive, such a child may later expect instant gratification for all his needs and desires and avoid investing time and effort into long-term goals."
    Whoa that's totally me and my experience.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #5
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    stimmt

    "Active child vs. Responsive parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 7

    The demands and concerns of the Active child are usually received with benevolence and a supportive, encouraging attitude. This creates a tolerant environment in which the child can express himself openly and receive attention without much effort from his part. The Active child becomes self-confident, carefree and expects his interactions to be positive and favorable to his needs. The Responsive parent is sympathetic and loving, thus stimulating the child's playful, self-expressive side and giving him a good deal of personal freedom.

    This childhood scenario promotes a cheerful, optimistic type who knows how to charm and manipulate others into easily getting his way. Entertaining and expressive, such a child may later expect instant gratification for all his needs and desires and avoid investing time and effort into long-term goals."
    Whoa that's totally me and my experience.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #6
    011235813
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Whoa that's totally me and my experience.
    Wow, that's such a positive description. The 9 description makes us sound like abuse victims or something. Unfair!!!

    Neutral child vs. Active parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 9

    The Neutral child is often overwhelmed and frightened by the controlling, domineering Active parent. Lacking self-assertion skills, he prefers to withdraw and stay out of the way, minimizing his own needs and avoiding the parent as much as possible. On the few occasions the child reaches out to the caretaker, he ends up feeling rejected and bullied around for no apparent reason, which causes him to withdraw again. The loneliness, however, also feels like rejection and soon enough the youngster will be ambivalent towards both being alone and being with others.

    Most of the time, a compromise will be made. This type will seek out company but will not invest themselves in it, preferring to keep in the background and go with the flow, partly removed from their actual situation. When alone, they will avoid introspection, which will bring about old feelings of depression and rejection, instead they'd rather numb themselves out with food, TV or other unimportant routines to avoid emotional pain.

  7. #7
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    stimmt

    "Active child vs. Responsive parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 7

    The demands and concerns of the Active child are usually received with benevolence and a supportive, encouraging attitude. This creates a tolerant environment in which the child can express himself openly and receive attention without much effort from his part. The Active child becomes self-confident, carefree and expects his interactions to be positive and favorable to his needs. The Responsive parent is sympathetic and loving, thus stimulating the child's playful, self-expressive side and giving him a good deal of personal freedom.

    This childhood scenario promotes a cheerful, optimistic type who knows how to charm and manipulate others into easily getting his way. Entertaining and expressive, such a child may later expect instant gratification for all his needs and desires and avoid investing time and effort into long-term goals."
    Wow, totally NOT me. My homelife was NOT "supportive and tolerant". That's prolly where I got the 6 wing from. Also, I think 7 is a prototypical "child" type, we're all more or less 7 (or more 7) in early childhood. I think strong instinctual 7s survive their home life to continue being 7s. I think home life would give an edge though, molding natural instincts to say an 8 rather than 6 or within the Same triad if thinking/gut etc is the strongest raw trait a child has.

    I think 6 and 8 type are thought to often result from deprived or chaotic home lives?

    In the end I think homelife has less to do with it but we do end up parenting in conscious reaction to how we ourselves were raised.

    Ok, I'm don't even have kids so I'll bow out here. :P
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    I was a Neutral kid pretty much verbatim.

    My dad was an Active parent, resulting in this:

    Neutral child vs. Active parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 9

    The Neutral child is often overwhelmed and frightened by the controlling, domineering Active parent. Lacking self-assertion skills, he prefers to withdraw and stay out of the way, minimizing his own needs and avoiding the parent as much as possible. On the few occasions the child reaches out to the caretaker, he ends up feeling rejected and bullied around for no apparent reason, which causes him to withdraw again. The loneliness, however, also feels like rejection and soon enough the youngster will be ambivalent towards both being alone and being with others.

    Most of the time, a compromise will be made. This type will seek out company but will not invest themselves in it, preferring to keep in the background and go with the flow, partly removed from their actual situation. When alone, they will avoid introspection, which will bring about old feelings of depression and rejection, instead they'd rather numb themselves out with food, TV or other unimportant routines to avoid emotional pain.
    I have a strong 9 component to my personality, but it feels more like an add-on... like I basically pulled back further than I wanted, deal with a lot more ambivalence than I should be dealing with, and became far more diplomatic because I had no other way to deal with my father that wouldn't trigger aggression and invasion.

    I struck out the one part that didn't match for me, and that's where the 5 and 4 types come out -- dispassionate 5 has to look at everything in order to remain honest, and self-focused 4 needs to soak itself in its own unique pain. However, as terrible luck would have it, I still manage to succumb to the stupid numbing mechanisms described.

    I think that issue with my dad (his invasiveness) left me with a bad taste toward Actives for much of my life; I didn't really have enough courage to engage Actives until my 30's.


    My mom was a Responsive parent:

    Neutral child vs. Responsive parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 5

    In this relationship, the Responsive parent is inclined to give a lot of unrequested attention to the Neutral child, who perceives his parent's supportive and affectionate attitude as a form of smothering. The youngster will tend to withdraw from his environment, preferring solitary activities and contemplation, but as opposed to the previous scenario (of type 9), loneliness will not be accompanied by a feeling of rejection. At the contrary, being alone is a matter of choice and it gives a feeling of security and well-being, knowing that there is always someone to communicate with when they decide to seek out company.

    Such children are genuine loners, who prefer and enjoy their solitude. They are introspective, insightful and love learning and discovering things on their own, usually rejecting any help or intervention from the outside. They are afraid of being intruded upon because their parents used to make a fuss over them and suffocate them with attention and demands for closeness.
    My mom was oddly smothering + oddly detached. She would fluctuate between glowy and very stoic/reserved -- the latter partly because she realized her smothering nature was offensive to me + she had been emotionally abused by my father and it shut down her emotional centers. But it created a lot of distance... so much that I actually have felt a large sense of rejection in that my mother doesn't understand me whatsoever. So I don't feel like the connection is real; anyone could be plugged into the role of "me," even a rock or a plant, and she would treat them the same.

    Maybe I need the reassurance of a closer relationship (rather than feeling happy being "alone" all the time) because I never really felt security and well-being or that someone would communicate with me when I needed company? I actually WAS alone in the world, against my will, which sucked even if I did enjoy the solitude.

    SO it's hard for me to judge this definition. Theoretically it seems to make sense, my own life just did not play out this way.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    EsTP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/sp
    Posts
    5,143

    Default

    Responsive child with responsives parents ==> 6, but with also a strong active side , so 6w7. That works.

    My lil' bro was clearly an active child, with the same responsives parents ==> he is a 7. That works too.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  10. #10
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    The three orientations are a little limited/limiting but this is closer to what I grew up with:

    Active child vs. Active parent
    This scenario is thought to produce Enneagram type 8.

    The child and parent experience open conflicts on a regular basis. They both have different agendas and oppose each other, thus giving rise to power struggles and explosive arguments. The Active parent is impatient and intolerant of the child's rebellious nature and tries to impose his will in an authoritarian fashion. The Active child, on the other hand, becomes aggressive, argumentative and persistent in getting his own way. The relationship becomes a sort of battlefield, which is how the child will later perceive the world around him (type 8).

    Such a childhood scenario encourages the child to develop a keen eye for spotting other people's weaknesses and a thirst for imposing their will in an overly aggressive fashion. They learn to be assertive, strong and deny their fears and feelings of intimidation. These are the traits they needed to have in order to stand up to their domineering parents and still keep their own Active inborn approach.
    Would have been nice to turn out an 8. :wistful:

    Active is not entirely accurate for me as a child but neither is neutral, and I think the definition also depends on if its being applied to how you approached your children/parents and how you approach the world (which is an important distinction I think...) I was never domineering as a child, did not fight, was very easy going, but I was also very independent and wanted to do my own thing.

    Also, I guess I lied because I'm still responding to this thread.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

Similar Threads

  1. Importance of Parental Orientation in Typing
    By brainheart in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 04-09-2014, 05:16 PM
  2. [INFP] INFP and sexual orientation
    By skillethelm in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 05-06-2011, 08:40 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO