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  1. #61
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    it's always least stressful to be an Sp dom. we tend to have our stuff in order internally and focus first on getting comfort, security and health. other subtypes have more of a tendency to place outside objectives before themselves, and this can lead to a lot of stress.
    I dunno, I think Sp-doms have their own stressors due to focus on minutiae and isolationist tendencies... This is quite visible in Sixes.
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  2. #62
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    I think it's very stressful to be an Sp and worry about safety all the time.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  3. #63
    garbage
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    Not sure about "wouldn't like to be," but the 9 mindset seems so contrary to my own. Naturally going with the flow is.. fascinating since it's so foreign.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    3s are human doing. self esteem to them is a tread mill. as long as they keep running, accomplishing, etc, life is good, once they slip up or burn out and fall off the treadmill, so too does their self worth.
    This. The root is that accomplishment fuels the ol' self-esteem. External feedback and standards just often happen to set the bar for what "accomplishment" means--external approval is typically valued, but it's simply one way for the 3 to gauge accomplishment and productivity.

    Quite often, they can cut corners to get that positive feedback and feel accomplished. Decently healthy folks outgrow the need for external validation and taking shortcuts, but their self-esteem is still fueled by needing to accomplish and "do." Only the healthiest have surpassed that.

    It's akin to anxiety being at the root a 6 (long story short), and that that may manifest in them clinging to groups and allowing others to think for them--but not necessarily.

    At least, that's what I've gathered. Someone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

  4. #64
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    They all kind of suck when you think about it.

    The less psychologically healthy you are, the more you cling on to your enneagram type. The idea is to try to transcend your own enneatype. The enneagram type descriptions seem to describe someone who isn't so healthy psychologically.

    I guess of the types I'd least like to be a 4 (sorry 4s). Just because it sounds so emo. On the surface 7 sounds the most desirable because they appear so fun and cheerful but sometimes use that as a mask for underlying problems. They don't want to admit the more painful things in life, which isn't so healthy.
    INtp
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  5. #65
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Not sure about "wouldn't like to be," but the 9 mindset seems so contrary to my own. Naturally going with the flow is.. fascinating since it's so foreign.


    This. The root is that accomplishment fuels the ol' self-esteem. External feedback and standards just often happen to set the bar for what "accomplishment" means--external approval is typically valued, but it's simply one way for the 3 to gauge accomplishment and productivity.

    Quite often, they can cut corners to get that positive feedback and feel accomplished. Decently healthy folks outgrow the need for external validation and taking shortcuts, but their self-esteem is still fueled by needing to accomplish and "do." Only the healthiest have surpassed that.

    It's akin to anxiety being at the root a 6 (long story short), and that that may manifest in them clinging to groups and allowing others to think for them--but not necessarily.

    At least, that's what I've gathered. Someone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
    Man for school, I sound like a total 3 and not in a good way. Makes sense because it's the last of my tritype. Whenever I am on a mission, I go to 3w4 but for everything else, I am strange mix of 5 and 9.

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Man for school, I sound like a total 3 and not in a good way. Makes sense because it's the last of my tritype.
    Some of my colleagues (who have Ph.D.s) told me that, in school, they didn't particularly care about the grades. It was absolutely bewildering to me--that they had 'made it' without worrying about that sort of metric.

    I did what I could to make my As, including one class where...
    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    In one class, the prof was so lazy that the tests were literally regurgitated homework problems. So, even on tests that had no computation, you'd hear click-clacking of calculators--since people put the solutions to those problems in their calculators. I had more honor than that, and I actually tried to learn the material, but that got in the way of actually succeeding in the class.
    ... and, while I didn't cheat, I said--"screw learning the material; I'm just going to memorize homework problems and vomit them out into the tests so that I can get the damn grade." Ends justifying the means, and all of that.

    (Epilogue: that class gave me my first B, and I was royally pissed and disappointed. One prof told me that that one B probably took me out of the running for grad school at MIT.)

    While it's not my fault that some profs based grades on criteria that don't include learning the material, it's a (perceived?) fact of life that those grades matter--and they wind up mattering both externally and internally.

    --
    In the end, we all have our struggles and biases. I'm not sure which bias is the 'worst,' if any; hopefully, we're smacked out of our biases through life experience.

  7. #67
    Glycerine
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    Yes. Uni has taught me how to play the game even if I don't get much out of the class. I just calculated the points and stuff. I have gotten 90 and above in all my classes (dropped two courses due to stress) but in the end, my 5 and 9ness are like "so what". I admire 3ness but I don't like living to strive constantly. I find the 3 way of life to be way too stressful.

  8. #68
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Ftr, my girlfriend is a 9w1 and she cared a lot about her grades, almost obsessively so.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  9. #69
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Not sure about "wouldn't like to be," but the 9 mindset seems so contrary to my own. Naturally going with the flow is.. fascinating since it's so foreign.


    This. The root is that accomplishment fuels the ol' self-esteem. External feedback and standards just often happen to set the bar for what "accomplishment" means--external approval is typically valued, but it's simply one way for the 3 to gauge accomplishment and productivity.

    Quite often, they can cut corners to get that positive feedback and feel accomplished. Decently healthy folks outgrow the need for external validation and taking shortcuts, but their self-esteem is still fueled by needing to accomplish and "do." Only the healthiest have surpassed that.

    It's akin to anxiety being at the root a 6 (long story short), and that that may manifest in them clinging to groups and allowing others to think for them--but not necessarily.

    At least, that's what I've gathered. Someone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
    exactly, this is why so many 3s mistype because the descriptions often sound more like 2w3 than they do 3. validation from others is only one stream of external validation for the 3; others deal strictly with numbers and goals
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  10. #70
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    it's always least stressful to be an Sp dom. we tend to have our stuff in order internally and focus first on getting comfort, security and health. other subtypes have more of a tendency to place outside objectives before themselves, and this can lead to a lot of stress.
    What? Noooo! lol

    Being an Sp-dom most certainly has its stresses. Having to worry about your safety, health, well-being, comfort (to a high degree degree), physiological needs, energy, and having enough resources all the time seems like it would just SUCK. I know that my dad tries to get me to worry about this stuff more, but I simply don't. It seems like it would hold you back a lot.

    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    (Epilogue: that class gave me my first B, and I was royally pissed and disappointed. One prof told me that that one B probably took me out of the running for grad school at MIT.)
    Now see, I personally don't care enough to get into a good college like that (I don't want to not go to college at all or go to a sub-par college, but I certainly won't care if I don't make it into MIT).

    In fact, I don't even use that as my criteria for picking a college. While I care about at least having good enough education to help me live comfortably, I care more about whether I will like it there and if I will be able to see my friends often, because they are more important to me.
    MBTI: INFP
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    Tritype: 6-9-2
    Instinctual Variant: Sx/Sp
    Temperament: Pure Supine
    D&D Alignment: Neutral Good
    Political Stance: Solid Liberal
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    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

    "Forgiveness means letting go of the past." ~ Gerald Jampolsky
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    "The choices people make tell you a lot about a person, but the reasons [...] tell you even more." ~ Albus Dumbledore (paraphrased)

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