Anyone else dislike their own types?

[lunalum]

People complain all the time that I'm too quiet--especially my parents. I feel horrible because they expect me to socialize with them but I can't think of a single thing to talk about. On top of that, I suck at talking because I can't easily think and talk at the same time, so whenever I try to explain things I often word things awkwardly or forget to mention some important piece. No matter how hard I try, I can never express myself the way that I wish I could, which is extremely frustrating. So anyways, that's why I wish I were an extrovert. I'm not sure if being an extrovert comes with those skills, but it would probably at least help some.

Yeah... I don't know. I have all of those problems as well. I really don't think extraversion solves them. Would you be very open about yourself and enjoy doing all sorts of activities and sort of be all out there nibbling just a bit of everything the world has to offer, thriving on the extra input and attention while not missing your deeper, more focused approach.... if you were able to magically break free and engage?

 

[Silveresque]

Yeah... I don't know. I have all of those problems as well. I really don't think extraversion solves them. Would you be very open about yourself and enjoy doing all sorts of activities and sort of be all out there nibbling just a bit of everything the world has to offer, thriving on the extra input and attention while not missing your deeper, more focused approach.... if you were able to magically break free and engage?

I don't know, probably not. So what exactly does extraversion do then? If all it is is a different focus, then is it possible for an introvert to become an extrovert?

 

[VagrantFarce]

Yeah... I don't know. I have all of those problems as well. I really don't think extraversion solves them. Would you be very open about yourself and enjoy doing all sorts of activities and sort of be all out there nibbling just a bit of everything the world has to offer, thriving on the extra input and attention while not missing your deeper, more focused approach.... if you were able to magically break free and engage?

Well, yeah. It's cliché as hell, but take it from a naturally introverted person: stop taking everything so seriously and loosen up. Be open, expressive, receptive - there's nothing to think about, and it all comes naturally. You'll be too busy making sure everyone around you is having a good time to dwell on anything.

So loosen the fuck up! And don't say "well, that's easy for you to say..." because it's easy for you too! Just trust it!

 

[lunalum]

I don't know, probably not. So what exactly does extraversion do then? If all it is is a different focus, then is it possible for an introvert to become an extrovert?

Eh, probably not. It's more innate, pretty much involving being drawn more toward breadth of information than the depth of impression or interpretation, and biologically connected in a way that Es experience loads of input in a more positive way than Is.

If you wish for meaningful expression, not expression for the sake of it and getting a back and forth energy information flow going, I think what you are still wishing for is introversion with becoming more comfortable with developing those connections.

(People who knows this better please correct if I'm a bit off on any of this.)

 

[VagrantFarce]

Eh, probably not. It's more innate, pretty much involving being drawn more toward breadth of information than the depth of impression or interpretation, and biologically connected in a way that Es experience loads of input in a more positive way than Is.

If you wish for meaningful expression, not expression for the sake of it and getting a back and forth energy information flow going, I think what you are still wishing for is introversion with becoming more comfortable with developing those connections.

(People who knows this better please correct if I'm a bit off on any of this.)

Those meangingful connections come later - they'll never happen unless you reach out for them.

Being extroverted is only shallow when you have no personality. Since you've already cultivated a rich inner world, there's nothing to compensate for! There is absolutely no secret to cultivating an extroverted side, and there's nothing to learn beyond becoming more friendly and receptive. Conversations prop themselves up once everyone is engaging on the same level.

Once you're comfortable enough with someone to really share yourself with, it will all happen naturally. But no one's going to reach into your world to connect with you, you have to step out of the bubble and engage with people. Stop thinking that you can't do it, or that you have nothing to say, because you have so much to say - you just need to get some courage, step into the unknown and make the first move!

 

[lunalum]

[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]: I still think you are talking about development of type rather than wanting to be a whole new one. I don't quite buy that the INTP 9 dancer is more disadvantaged than the ESFP 3 dancer just for being INTP 9.

[MENTION=5632]VagrantFarce[/MENTION]: I can't really tell if you are talking to me or RevlisZero or everyone Great words... but if you're directing this to me as well it's not a matter of developing some "side" (I'm already an ambivert) but more of just being able to keep a long conversation going at all. That takes more than a friendly smile and wave. It takes.... well, it takes different things for different people but generally a "being on the same page," which often involves a certain level of depth, or at least takes a starting spark, that's hard to get to if you feel all tired and crummy in the first place. Gotta love them Catch 22s

 

[CzeCze]

I think lots of people dislike their own types but specifically say "I hate XXXX" when really they hate their own weaknesses and being reminded of them when viewing others. I think it's very telling when someone says they hate other people of their type because of XYZ because usually they are revealing what they hate about themselves. I notice this especially in some ENFPs on the forum who said they hate other ENFPs for being histrionic. Oh wait "I FREAKING HATE ENFPS BECAUSE THEY'RE SO GODDAMN OVER EMOTIONAL!?!?!!@#$#$@$" or something like that.

All things being equal I like my type and I don't have a problem with other ENFPs just because they are ENFPs. I realized somewhat recently that I know a LOT of ENFPs irl. We come in different flavor varieties you know.

If anything it would be nice to be a J because then I could get more done. Enneatype wise that 6 wing is a thorn in my side. I understand what [MENTION=206]Randomnity[/MENTION] is saying because honestly I wouldn't want to be a full on 6 unless it was that counter vigilant type that can seem 8ish. I'd rather be an 8. Being a type 7 ENXP is so stereotypical but gosh I love adventure and get easily distracted by shiny things.

As for the introverts who wish they were extroverts I met an INTJ man who totally seemed like an extrovert. Lots of introverts can and do seem sociable and can start and carry on conversations. The introversion doesn't necessarily mean shyness. You can certainly overcome talk jitters.

 

[Kasper]

I'm happy with what the type gods gave me, but the inherent weaknesses of any type can be suxors, point is being aware so you can do something about them. Nothing in your typology can prevent you from getting where you want to be if you know where you want to be and what is holding you back.

Ya'll can't be ENTP 7w8s, sorry, but we need you other types to give us entertainment

 

[VagrantFarce]

[MENTION=5632]VagrantFarce[/MENTION]: I can't really tell if you are talking to me or RevlisZero or everyone Great words... but if you're directing this to me as well it's not a matter of developing some "side" (I'm already an ambivert) but more of just being able to keep a long conversation going at all. That takes more than a friendly smile and wave. It takes.... well, it takes different things for different people but generally a "being on the same page," which often involves a certain level of depth, or at least takes a starting spark, that's hard to get to if you feel all tired and crummy in the first place. Gotta love them Catch 22s

I'm not really directing at anyone, just whoever is reading

 

[Owfin]

I'm not sure I would want to be any other enneagram type. Maybe 7 (it would be cool to be an ISTJ 7). But all of them are not very attractive, which is the point.

 

[garbage]

Yeah, I really don't like intellectual snobbery as a defense mechanism in other people. Or, to the extent that it's applicable, in myself.

The entire point of the Enneagram is to help us recognize our biases and try to work past them so that we can grow, not to provide us excuses to be stuck in them.

 

[Santosha]

I've said it before and I'll say it again.. 3's, 6's, and 9's get a bad wrap. Bad enough that I might actually consider being unhappy with my type, if I wasn't aware enough to realize that the personality box barely scratches the surface of the person. When I initially read 3 scrips- things like fake, souless, moraless bastards came to mind. Sad. Even more sad is that people eat this shit up like theres no tomorrow, using it to define themselves and others.

Ya, there is alot of things about type 3 and 4 that aren't very pretty, just like every other type. It's the entire underlying concept. Recognize your greatest weakness, your greatest ego fixations.. naturally you'll hate the truth of your own weakness.. who wouldn't? Oh so close to home. So on a surface level, ofcourse it may *seem* that other types have it easier or better.. because you may not have those hangups (to the degree that they do). You don't experience the reality of it. But no, I don't waste any time wishing I was another type.. I focus on being the best me I can be. And that doesn't come from an mbti mould or some enneagram "level 1 assesment".. The profiling will never be more than a pale comparison to a real person. I take from it whatever knowledge I can all the while understanding it's limits. I think others should do the same.

 

[King sns]

I'm not liking mine. I'm sure you're not supposed to like it. They are more like afflictions, preventing you from getting where you want to be, that stubbornly ingrain themselves into the depths of your head to where you can barely reach them sometimes.

Too many people idealize personalities, they think it's a good thing to be scattered and that everyone who isn't sucks, or they think it's great to take 3 jobs and burn out and that it's completely normal. It's hard to wake them up... hard to know whether you should or not... hell, it's hard to wake up to it in the first place, that being 'yourself' can make things far worse for yourself, despite what all of the shows you grow up with lead you to believe.

I recently changed back to my original guessed/tested types (enneagram and mbti) after a long time of pushing my bounds out of it. I was an INFPish young kid and always felt rather separated from society in general. I've always tried to be more active and fast paced and focused and, I don't know, purposeful. It's helped- trying to do the opposite thing. But it's a rather painful process. Some of my closest friends are SJ's and they make everything look so... I don't know, easy. Everything doesn't have to come in this backwards and complicated way all the time. I've grown much more balanced and comfortable with myself with age, though. I can tell you being stormy and avoidant and poetic did not get me a job, or friends, or even love- or anything Earthly that matters. Lighting myself as positive and upbeat and ambitious like an ESxJ did.

 

[Rasofy]

I believe INTP is one of the least ''functional'' types, but somehow it makes me feel special.
Sometimes I wish I was more like my friend (ESTP 7w6 I believe) that is more worried about dating multiple women than searching for answers about the universe or the human condition, but I wouldn't want to have his flaws.
I think I'm so aware of every type's common flaws that I wouldn't be able to live with flaws that I'm not comfortable with. I guess it is expected.

 

[CzeCze]

I'm not sure I would want to be any other enneagram type. Maybe 7 (it would be cool to be an ISTJ 7). But all of them are not very attractive, which is the point.

Would that herald the coming of the apocalypse?

I want to meet that person. Especially if they are an ISTJ 7w8. Yowza.

 

[CzeCze]

I believe INTP is one of the least ''functional'' types, but somehow it makes me feel special.
Sometimes I wish I was more like my friend (ESTP 7w6 I believe) that is more worried about dating multiple women than searching for answers about the universe or the human condition, but I wouldn't want to have his flaws.
I think I'm so aware of every type's common flaws that I wouldn't be able to live with flaws that I don't know how to properly control. I guess it is expected.

I bolded the part I thought was a really apt description coming from a said INTP. Weren't you typing as ENTP back in the day?

And to answer the question in here, no, you can't change introversion or extroversion not the MBT kind. That's hard wired and shows where you draw your strength from and a core orientation to the world. Extroverts (particularly ENFPs) might get shy, nervous, or bashful at times but we essentially feed off the external world and especially need social interaction. Parties never make me tired (unless they suck and put me to sleep) Being with people energizes me in a way that an introvert can't fake.

Now when it comes to performance or how we act with the world, yes you can definitely change from degrees of I to E. In that sense even extroverts practice and study how to be more successful at the social definition of "extroversion"

 

[Rasofy]

I bolded the part I thought was a really apt description coming from a said INTP.

Weren't you typing as ENTP back in the day?

Me? Nah, I'm a hardcore INTP.

I think we gotta focus on what we are good at. I once had an INTJ schoolmate that was really smart, but I guess he didn't take much time to properly evaluate his college options and ended up in a college course that is dead-end here - computer science. People with computer science degrees end up fixing computers or teaching word/excel. Still, stubborn as he is, he didn't drop and decided to take it until the end, managing to take 2 courses at the same time - computer science and law. Meanwhile, I made a nice sum of money and learned a lot about investing, while he, despite being one of the smartest guys I know, wasted 4 years in a degree that is likely gonna be useless to him.

 

[VagrantFarce]

People with computer science degrees end up fixing computers or teaching word/excel.

Only if they're already brain-dead morons.

 

[Rasofy]

Only if they're already brain-dead morons.

This is Brazil, we have no Microsoft, Google or Apple. Market is not so friendly with them.

 

[Asterion]

For me, it all just gets in the way of what I want. I want to be competent, but then I start to over-think and then anxiety kicks in and suddenly I'm a fucking dope and it all spirals from there. I want to have nice things, attain my dreams... but fail to put the effort in to get them and reason that I don't even need it... what, I don't need good food? I don't need money? It's just retarded, why is it so hard to do something so seemingly simple with any kind of consistency?

I think some types have too much herd mentality, doing what's good for the pack, when so many people are in it for themselves. Eh, it will bite them in the ass someday... it's probably already biting them in the ass right now, they will never be happy.

I think the truth behind the matter is that we are not built to be perfect, and we just have to accept it and try anyway with all the delusions we can conjure to help.

Obviously you're going to like your MBTI type, it's mostly preferences, except for perhaps E vs I, which is more inherent. Personally, I'd prefer to be introverted. There is so much bullshit in the extraverted world, I already find it hard enough dealing with my own inadequacies let alone those of everyone else too.

And sp is the best. Hands down, no doubt.