How do you decide on an enneagram type?

[EJCC]

I thought I wasn't idealistic enough and didn't have high enough standards to be a 1.

It turns out that's a sign for it, not against it, if your behaviour and argumentative focus suggest otherwise.

Interesting! Do you mean that you thought you weren't idealistic and with high standards, but you actually were? I ask because the mistyped 1 that I mentioned earlier in this thread is also an INTJ, and she tends to come across as very jaded and pessimistic -- which may be from years and years of nothing meeting her high standards.

/derail

 

[animenagai]

Stuff

Type 6 maybe?

 

[Silveresque]

Type 6 maybe?

No way I'm a 6. I've never related to any of the type 6 descriptions I've read. But thanks anyways for the suggestion.

 

[Silveresque]

Unless there's such a thing as a 6 who isn't prone to anxiety and worry...

 

[chickpea]

Unless there's such a thing as a 6 who isn't prone to anxiety and worry...

you're worrying about this

 

[21%]

My Type 5w6 INTP dad:
- Pretty reserved and self-sufficient
- Can be great with people, but doesn't really let anyone in
- Owns loads of books on loads of random topics
- Gets obsessed with things occasionally and becomes very dedicated to learning/mastering it (gets lost in personal projects)

My Type 9 ISFP friend:
- Great, great, great listener
- Tries to see the best in people, and rarely argues with anyone
- Tends not to get angry or defensive when criticized (but more "Oh, am I really like that? I need to do something about it")
- Wants a smooth, happy, conflict-free life
- Is happy just flipping through magazines, watching tv, putting on body care products

My Type 9w1 INFP boyfriend:
- Pretty easy-going and will be the happy (or not so happy) tag-along to most events
- Perfect life includes hanging out with people he loves, having a stable, slightly boring job (low-paying is okay) that gives him a lot of free time
- Pretty idealistic about the way he lives (wants peace and quiet, simplicity, organic food, clean air, sunlight, being close to nature)

Just to say that 5s and 9s give out different vibes

 

[Vizzy]

And about the last part...Am I not demonstrating that with the way I've been trying to figure out my type? I'm practically analyzing it to death all the time. How much more analytical do I need to get?

Key words: "...just for the fun of it."

By the way, I agree with what you wrote about things that are not said.
Just out of curiosity, of the things that people could/would say, or have said to you, what is amongst the most hurtful?

 

[Silveresque]

you're worrying about this

Wondering, not worrying. I like it when new possibilities arise, because it gives me more to analyze and think about.

 

[Riva]

Then, I read the 4 description and ouch, it hurt. I had a very strong emotional reaction to it and I knew instantly I was a 4.

And then you cried again didn't you?

1st it was INFJ then it was enneagram 4 .

It's a cruel cruel world .

 

[Silveresque]

My Type 5w6 INTP dad:
- Pretty reserved and self-sufficient
- Can be great with people, but doesn't really let anyone in
- Owns loads of books on loads of random topics
- Gets obsessed with things occasionally and becomes very dedicated to learning/mastering it (gets lost in personal projects)

My Type 9 ISFP friend:
- Great, great, great listener
- Tries to see the best in people, and rarely argues with anyone
- Tends not to get angry or defensive when criticized (but more "Oh, am I really like that? I need to do something about it")
- Wants a smooth, happy, conflict-free life
- Is happy just flipping through magazines, watching tv, putting on body care products

My Type 9w1 INFP boyfriend:
- Pretty easy-going and will be the happy (or not so happy) tag-along to most events
- Perfect life includes hanging out with people he loves, having a stable, slightly boring job (low-paying is okay) that gives him a lot of free time
- Pretty idealistic about the way he lives (wants peace and quiet, simplicity, organic food, clean air, sunlight, being close to nature)

Just to say that 5s and 9s give out different vibes

Of these descriptions, I relate most to the 5, actually, and least to the INFP 9w1 (he seems too extraverted compared to me).

Key words: "...just for the fun of it."

By the way, I agree with what you wrote about things that are not said.
Just out of curiosity, of the things that people could/would say, or have said to you, what is amongst the most hurtful?

This is fun.

The most hurtful would probably be someone thinking that I'm an idiot or a weirdo.

 

[Riva]

Oh mine wasn't easy at all. When I tested I got 7.
But for a long time I believed I was an enneagram 3 due to it being a close 2nd in the tests results and me being somewhat achievement conscious.

Then came Chloe, Elfboy and Speed Gavroche and made me realize I am indeed an enneagram 7.
The descriptions helped, especially the descriptions as to how one behaves under stress.

 

[21%]

And then you cried again didn't you?

1st it was INFJ then it was enneagram 4 .

It's a cruel cruel world .

Other types might not get us, but we are unique, special little things tucked away in the secret corners of the world

 

[21%]

Of these descriptions, I relate most to the 5, actually, and least to the INFP 9w1 (he seems too extraverted compared to me).

My INFP boyfriend would never call himself extraverted, but he's secretly a people person when he's with the people he loves. That said, he never realized people mattered that much until he was separated from them. When he was in the comfort of his home and his group of friends, he thought he didn't care for people at all.

My 5w6 dad, though, was quite extraverted when he was younger. He was quite popular among his friends and had loads of them. He still keeps his friends, but can easily drop them when something more important comes up.

Because 9s seek acceptance, ultimately what they crave is a close circle of loved ones who will never abandon them. It doesn't mean they have to be with their loved ones all the time, but the feeling of connection has to be maintained. 5s, on the other hand, have the tendency to move away from people to learn how to be completely self-sufficient so that they will be well-equipped to face and deal with the world. Again, this doesn't mean they have to shut people out of their lives, but they feel like they have to be prepared to ultimately make it on their own even without other people.

(Of course, this is all less obvious and more confusing for sp-9s and sx-5s >_<)

Anyway, I think you can also tell from your direction from integration/disintegration. 5 when spooked goes to 7 (numerous unfinished projects, nervous energy, experience cravings, etc.) and goes to 8 when calm (decisive, self-assured, less self-negligent). 9 goes to 6 when spooked (suspicious, rebelling or overly compliant) and goes to 3 when calm (motivated, more objective).

By 'spooked' I mean 'taken out of their comfort zone'. It can happen because of a new environment, new acquaintance, or just new everyday happenings that make you 'feel weird'. That's not a really good explanation, but you get what I mean

The most hurtful would probably be someone thinking that I'm an idiot or a weirdo.

Idiot or weirdo -- pick one
If you're most hurt by 'idiot' then you're a 5. If it's 'weirdo' then you're a 9.

 

[Asterion]

The main thing you need if you can't work out your type, is time, and quality information. Information in the web is often not good enough, same with tests, and often typings made by people on forums here as EJCC experienced, there is a limit to what you can discern with such a small amount of information. In my experience, you need to read through a book written by a professional on the type(s) you suspect you are.

This is also surprisingly helpful on getting to know what all of the types are like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqTSD8a7Cfk, there are hour long videos with interviews for types 3 through to 9, they are very good, and give a great idea of what each type is like. They don't quite cover as much detail as the books do though, of course.

For some people though, their type is obvious to them, others will struggle for a long time.

 

[Vizzy]

Of these descriptions, I relate most to the 5, actually, and least to the INFP 9w1 (he seems too extraverted compared to me).



This is fun.

The most hurtful would probably be someone thinking that I'm an idiot or a weirdo.

Key key word: "Just for the fun of it."

Actually, I'd find it a compliment if someone considered me weird. That probably has a lot to do with my 4 wing.

 

[Silveresque]

My INFP boyfriend would never call himself extraverted, but he's secretly a people person when he's with the people he loves. That said, he never realized people mattered that much until he was separated from them. When he was in the comfort of his home and his group of friends, he thought he didn't care for people at all.

My 5w6 dad, though, was quite extraverted when he was younger. He was quite popular among his friends and had loads of them. He still keeps his friends, but can easily drop them when something more important comes up.

Because 9s seek acceptance, ultimately what they crave is a close circle of loved ones who will never abandon them. It doesn't mean they have to be with their loved ones all the time, but the feeling of connection has to be maintained. 5s, on the other hand, have the tendency to move away from people to learn how to be completely self-sufficient so that they will be well-equipped to face and deal with the world. Again, this doesn't mean they have to shut people out of their lives, but they feel like they have to be prepared to ultimately make it on their own even without other people.

(Of course, this is all less obvious and more confusing for sp-9s and sx-5s >_<)

I'm not really sure what I need/want right now. I'm not sure I've ever really experienced this feeling of connection, though I'm not sure how much I relate to the need for self-sufficiency either.

Anyway, I think you can also tell from your direction from integration/disintegration. 5 when spooked goes to 7 (numerous unfinished projects, nervous energy, experience cravings, etc.) and goes to 8 when calm (decisive, self-assured, less self-negligent). 9 goes to 6 when spooked (suspicious, rebelling or overly compliant) and goes to 3 when calm (motivated, more objective).

By 'spooked' I mean 'taken out of their comfort zone'. It can happen because of a new environment, new acquaintance, or just new everyday happenings that make you 'feel weird'. That's not a really good explanation, but you get what I mean

This is a part I'm not really sure about. I can only relate partially to the disintegration to both 6 and 7, and integration to 8 and 3 will probably look too similar to distinguish. I'll have to look into this more.

Idiot or weirdo -- pick one
If you're most hurt by 'idiot' then you're a 5. If it's 'weirdo' then you're a 9.

I can't separate them, they're the same in my mind. Being weird makes me feel like an idiot (though being an idiot doesn't make me feel weird, I guess ). But I suppose that between "idiot" and "weird", the word I'm more sensitive to by far is idiot.

Key key word: "Just for the fun of it."

Actually, I'd find it a compliment if someone considered me weird. That probably has a lot to do with my 4 wing.

Really? Weird!

 

[21%]

Key key word: "Just for the fun of it."

Actually, I'd find it a compliment if someone considered me weird. That probably has a lot to do with my 4 wing.

Really? Weird!

Me too! I also consider 'weird' a compliment

I'm actually offended when someone thinks I'm normal

 

[oneirocriticism]

Me too! I also consider 'weird' a compliment

I'm actually offended when someone thinks I'm normal

*ahem* this is a really stereotypical and mediocre opinion. i suggest revising. it's subtracting from any weirdness.

 

[Vizzy]

[MENTION=6971]21%[/MENTION] - For me, being called "average" is nearly the same as being called a "failure". If I'm not outstanding, notable or above average in what I'm doing, then I've failed. I haven't done well enough.

I can't separate them, they're the same in my mind. Being weird makes me feel like an idiot (though being an idiot doesn't make me feel weird, I guess ). But I suppose that between "idiot" and "weird", the word I'm more sensitive to by far is idiot.

You can't seperate being called weird and being called an idiot? I was a bit shocked when I read this. It's definitely something worth looking into and I'm sure it'd help in sorting out your Enneagram.

Before I go on giving my definitions, would you mind elaborating on what you said above?
What makes those two words synonymous for you?
Being weird makes you feel like an idiot?

Really? Weird!

Do you honestly think that's a weird point of view? Can you relate to it at all?

 

[animenagai]

Yeah I agree on the weird thing, it's a compliment to me and it's most definitely better than being called mediocre. Not sure if that helps with finding your e-type though. If anything, I would think that most N's like being called weird.