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  1. #51
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Can you please elaborate on the lack thereof part? I dismissed SO dominance because of the lack of the group-orientedness but I seem to be highly aware of group dynamics.
    You might be a loner, but think of yourself as being separate from "the group" - that's still a social instinct, since you're identifying yourself in terms of group relations. It's a very dysfunctional way of thinking about yourself, but it's more than possible.

    Think of them as radars - they skew your overall attention in a certain direction. Whether you pay enough attention to take care of those needs is a different matter entirely.
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  2. #52
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    Being SP-dom has nothing to do with being private or reserved or being reticent to open up. Would you call Steven Spielberg private or reserved? Or Alan Sugar?
    Sp is about protection and security. I don't see why that can't include emotional security. Regardless of that, I'm pretty sure I'm Sp first.

    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    The self-preservation instinct is meant to reflect people who are most drawn to their own sense of comfort & familiarity (or lack thereof), just like the social instinct is meant to reflect people who are most drawn to their place within groups of people (or lack thereof), and the sexual instinct is meant to reflect people who are most drawn to intimacy and significant others (or lack thereof).
    Interesting. I relate to sp's comfort and security. As for the other two, I don't have either--no place within groups and no intimacy or close friends, but the one that concerns me more is definitely sx. Not being a part of groups or having a social life doesn't bother me, but not having a single close friend bothers me very much. My biggest concern lately has been not being able to connect with anyone in any meaningful way. I feel like there's no point trying to make friends if there's no real connection or depth. I wonder if I could be an unhealthy sx/sp...

  3. #53
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    Sp is about protection and security. I don't see why that can't include emotional security.
    I didn't say that, just don't think that because you're emotionally reticent that you're sp-dominant. Everyone's afraid of being "hurt".
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  4. #54
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    You might be a loner, but think of yourself as being separate from "the group" - that's still a social instinct, since you're identifying yourself in terms of group relations. It's a very dysfunctional way of thinking about yourself, but it's more than possible.

    Think of them as radars - they skew your overall attention in a certain direction. Whether you pay enough attention to take care of those needs is a different matter entirely.
    Hmmm, that makes a lot of sense. I am probably so/sp then. I think of myself in terms of where I stand in the group a lot/compare myself/constantly observing the group dynamics and interactions and making mental notes. The so/sp descriptions don't really describe me all that well but the way you reframed it sounds like me. It also aligns more with my Fe dominance. Thanks a lot for the help.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Hmm...Now I think I could be So. Every time I type up a post, I'm extremely careful with the wording because I feel like I'm writing for an audience. I don't think I could post something without making at least a few minor edits (I've already made three edits in this post so far :P). But then again, maybe it's just perfectionism and has nothing to do with instincts.

    On the other hand, self-consciousness/wanting to seem normal is really the only thing about So that fits me. I don't care about elite groups, social status, group dynamics, or anything else So. And I don't care about "fitting in" so much as not standing out in a potentially bad way.

    I can never seem to decide whether I have so, sx, neither, or both. Which one I relate to more depends on what examples I happen to be thinking of at the moment, and I can't get a clear picture of what kind of "radar" I have without looking for specific examples as evidence, so I don't see how I'm supposed to figure this out...

    So...new question: how do you decide on an instinctual variant?

    (I have now edited this post a total of 19 times before posting.)

    EDIT: (And once after posting...)

  6. #56
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    I think you're a phobic 6 with a 5 wing.

  7. #57
    Glycerine
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    or at least really strong 6 wing if not a 9.

    EDIT: you picked something. yay!

  8. #58
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    I think you're a phobic 6 with a 5 wing.
    Hmm...I do seem to act like a 6 on the forum, but I don't irl. I don't know, the type 6 descriptions make it seem like they're constantly worrying about something, but I prefer to just not think about things that could cause me anxiety or stress. By the way, people assume that I'm worrying or anxious about my type, and I'm not. I'm just curious.

  9. #59
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    Hmm...Now I think I could be So. Every time I type up a post, I'm extremely careful with the wording because I feel like I'm writing for an audience. I don't think I could post something without making at least a few minor edits (I've already made three edits in this post so far :P). But then again, maybe it's just perfectionism and has nothing to do with instincts.

    On the other hand, self-consciousness/wanting to seem normal is really the only thing about So that fits me. I don't care about elite groups, social status, group dynamics, or anything else So. And I don't care about "fitting in" so much as not standing out in a potentially bad way.
    All sounds like So to me - even the second paragraph. I'm so/sp and I very much identify (and I practically edit and re-write my posts 1000 times too ). I'm not especially ambitious nor interested in improving my social status, either, but I can be more aware of these elements than others. I put some stock in prestige and critical consensus, regarding say when choosing a book or film to read/watch, because it says that there is some agreement among experts on it's worth - this won't stop me from disagreeing with them but I still treat that work with a degree of respect. Focusing on group dynamics isn't necessarily what you think too; there are many ways that you could do this unconsciously.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  10. #60
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    On the other hand, self-consciousness/wanting to seem normal is really the only thing about So that fits me. I don't care about elite groups, social status, group dynamics, or anything else So. And I don't care about "fitting in" so much as not standing out in a potentially bad way.
    You may be overly focused on details -- it's not about "caring" about groups/status, it's about noticing it. I'm So dominant and I couldn't care less about status. But I can't help but see who's friends with whom, who's ambivalent about whom, who groups with what crew of people because of what. Not that I take part in any of it, but I'm very aware of social networking when it's taking place (i.e. all the time, because it doesn't stop!). And it's not about "wanting" to fit in -- it's about noticing when you don't. Some people are oblivious to that, but if you're aware of social dynamics, that also means you're aware of norms. You know what's "normal", but that doesn't mean you follow that norm, or even want to follow it, just like Vagrant Farce said.

    From all the posts of yours that I've read in this thread, you definitely seem So, especially in that last regard.

    Also regarding Sx -- desiring close friendships only matters to instinctual variants in a relative degree. As much as you want intimacy, how often do you think about that need? Also keep in mind that Sx is about more than just intimacy and relationships -- it's about intensity of experience. I have an Sx/Sp friend, and the type of intensity he actively seeks out is the type that involves very serious, nonstop, five hour long conversations about life, love, science and philosophy (he's an ENFJ). But any other intense "intimate" experience could be included here. In general, you seem much more Sp and So than you do Sx -- your communication style and the things you take notice of in your life (yes I know this is a big generalization from very little data but hear me out) don't seem all that Sx relatively speaking. You only mentioned wanting a close friend that one time, and the rest of the time it was all security, reclusiveness from groups, abnormality.
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