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  1. #41
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    My sister's a 3, so I think I understand 3s quite well. It's all about feeling worthy, and if 3s feel that if they're not smart/beautiful/rich/benevolent (or whatever quality they choose to view as 'successful'), they aren't 'worthy' of love. The society the Three lives in will probably determine what the Three does to get "love" (acceptance). Deep down, however, they just want to lie in bed and be completely useless and still have people give them a hug and tell them it's okay to be who they are even when they don't do anything. )
    yeah, we want to be loved for who we are and not for what we do, but since we believe that's impossible we keep doing stuff, like learning 5 languages

  2. #42
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloe View Post
    Happiness is alert to you that something is missing?
    Heh. Not always, but happiness to me is just one of the emotions -- so I find sadness and happiness equally satisfying in their intensity, if you know what I mean. I thrive on intense feelings because they make me feel alive and acutely aware of my 'self'. If I don't feel anything for a long time, it's like I'm not really living

    It's weird, but I don't feel 'happy' much. The extreme kind of happiness is realizing what I have and feeling the fleetingness (and therefore beauty) of it, so it eventually gets mixed with sadness anyway (But it's still a transcendentally gooood feeling).

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloe View Post
    yeah, we want to be loved for who we are and not for what we do, but since we believe that's impossible we keep doing stuff, like learning 5 languages
    Exactly! You get more hugs for that
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  3. #43
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Thanks for the input from/about the 3s. I feel like I have a little more understanding already.

    For those confused about type 6: I don't live my life in a constant state of fear and anxiety, which I think is sometimes the perception of 6. But I question a lot, I tend to see what can go wrong, I tend to say "yeah, but what about..." when someone puts forth an idea. And I worry about security and would like to find more of it - particularly emotional security. I look for friends and relationships where the person is going to be like a rock. And most people aren't.
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  4. #44
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    For those confused about type 6: I don't live my life in a constant state of fear and anxiety, which I think is sometimes the perception of 6. But I question a lot, I tend to see what can go wrong, I tend to say "yeah, but what about..." when someone puts forth an idea. And I worry about security and would like to find more of it - particularly emotional security. I look for friends and relationships where the person is going to be like a rock. And most people aren't.
    Hmmm... so the anxiety stems from the potential of harm? What would be the ideal life situation for you? To live in a secure environment with a group of people you trust? (Just guessing here)

    And, doesn't that sound too safe and normal (and a bit boring)?
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  5. #45
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Hmmm... so the anxiety stems from the potential of harm? What would be the ideal life situation for you? To live in a secure environment with a group of people you trust? (Just guessing here)

    And, doesn't that sound too safe and normal (and a bit boring)?
    More or less accurate. I don't like it when people are inconsistent or likely to pull the carpet from under my feet. And I like it when people respect my independence and autonomy, but also want to help and (to a certain extent) protect me. I probably give off somewhat mixed messages in that regard.

    As far as things being too safe/normal/boring - the way I see it, when you have certain fundamentals that you can rely upon, that allows more space for things to be fun and exciting. (boasting coming up, sorry) I've travelled to many continents and have friends all over the world, I've had rich and exciting cultural and other experiences that most people I know haven't had, etc - and I like it when surprises come up under those circumstances, but only if they're pleasant surprises and certain things are in place! Ie. while I love travelling, I'd rather go visit my friends in a foreign country, or even if I travel on my own, have a hotel booked for part of the trip, or something... Setting off into the unknown with an element of adventure and unpredictability is one thing but I don't feel comfortable doing it with only five dollars and nowhere to stay for the night.

    I can be pretty fun and crazy (so I'm told) but only if certain secure elements are in place. If I'm with other people, they should be people I trust. If I'm alone, I should know where I'm staying that night or at least that I have an airport floor to sit on. Etc.

    In some ways I trust myself (and certain fundamental things that I've incorporated, like my faith) more than I trust others. So I'd rather travel alone than with people who are going to be unpleasant, a pain, unpredictable, etc. However, I'd rather travel with people who are going to be both reliable and fun, than alone. Romantically I would love to be with someone who would lead me into fun adventures, but he would protect me and be "safe" both emotionally and physically. Since I am good at finding my own forms of fun and entertainment, I'd probably rather be with someone who was (slightly!) on the boring side but reliable and trustworthy and solid, than someone dangerous and fun but unreliable, not trustworthy, etc.

    Hope that gives you a bit more of an idea...


    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Heh. Not always, but happiness to me is just one of the emotions -- so I find sadness and happiness equally satisfying in their intensity, if you know what I mean. I thrive on intense feelings because they make me feel alive and acutely aware of my 'self'. If I don't feel anything for a long time, it's like I'm not really living
    Oh, and this is one of the key reasons why I knew I'm not a 4. I can kind of understand why 4s are like that, but it sort of...annoys me too, I admit. I confess to having a bit of a "get over it/yourself!" reaction to the chasing after intense feelings. Not that I don't love intensity, and have experience of sadness and depression, but I'd rather get out of it sooner than later... I kind of feel that the arts are a "safe" way of releasing and dealing with intense emotions and turning them into something amazing and transformative.
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  6. #46
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    More or less accurate. I don't like it when people are inconsistent or likely to pull the carpet from under my feet. And I like it when people respect my independence and autonomy, but also want to help and (to a certain extent) protect me. I probably give off somewhat mixed messages in that regard.

    As far as things being too safe/normal/boring - the way I see it, when you have certain fundamentals that you can rely upon, that allows more space for things to be fun and exciting. (boasting coming up, sorry) I've travelled to many continents and have friends all over the world, I've had rich and exciting cultural and other experiences that most people I know haven't had, etc - and I like it when surprises come up under those circumstances, but only if they're pleasant surprises and certain things are in place! Ie. while I love travelling, I'd rather go visit my friends in a foreign country, or even if I travel on my own, have a hotel booked for part of the trip, or something... Setting off into the unknown with an element of adventure and unpredictability is one thing but I don't feel comfortable doing it with only five dollars and nowhere to stay for the night.

    I can be pretty fun and crazy (so I'm told) but only if certain secure elements are in place. If I'm with other people, they should be people I trust. If I'm alone, I should know where I'm staying that night or at least that I have an airport floor to sit on. Etc.

    In some ways I trust myself (and certain fundamental things that I've incorporated, like my faith) more than I trust others. So I'd rather travel alone than with people who are going to be unpleasant, a pain, unpredictable, etc. However, I'd rather travel with people who are going to be both reliable and fun, than alone. Romantically I would love to be with someone who would lead me into fun adventures, but he would protect me and be "safe" both emotionally and physically. Since I am good at finding my own forms of fun and entertainment, I'd probably rather be with someone who was (slightly!) on the boring side but reliable and trustworthy and solid, than someone dangerous and fun but unreliable, not trustworthy, etc.

    Hope that gives you a bit more of an idea...
    Thanks for explaining! Yeah, I can relate to a certain extent, perhaps because of my sp instinct. It's extremely important for me to be safe and to have a plan (and an emergency plan), but that's still by no means my main focus. I don't really worry about it that much. I guess in the same way, a 6 probably won't find it so important to be concerned with their own uniqueness like a 4 does

    Once I try thinking about Types 3-6-9 (acceptance-seeking) as the same thing but with different approaches, it seems to make more sense. 3s seek it aggressively, by achieving and 'proving' to people that they are worthy to be loved. 6s seek it embracingly, by going into the world and becoming part of it. 9s seek it by withdrawing and making peace with themselves. I think it's about fitting in and being loved.

    Doesn't make perfect sense yet, but I'm understanding more

    Oh, and this is one of the key reasons why I knew I'm not a 4. I can kind of understand why 4s are like that, but it sort of...annoys me too, I admit. I confess to having a bit of a "get over it/yourself!" reaction to the chasing after intense feelings. Not that I don't love intensity, and have experience of sadness and depression, but I'd rather get out of it sooner than later... I kind of feel that the arts are a "safe" way of releasing and dealing with intense emotions and turning them into something amazing and transformative.
    I know. I tend to get annoyed by whiny 4s too. If I whine I whine quietly and only to myself.

    I guess everyone can relate to a certain degree to each type's motivation, but has their own priorities.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  7. #47
    Tier 1 Member LunaLuminosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I find it difficult to understand Types 6, 7, 8. I can understand the descriptions, but I just can't seem to relate much to the motivations. (Type 7 needs to be 'happy'? As a 4, I don't feel any real need to be happy. Like, who needs happiness when you can sulk and think about depressing stuff all day? )
    You see this is why I don't understand type 4s

    I kind of think of it like, other types get addicted to things, and 7s get addicted to addiction. We are happiness junkies.... to not try to get ourselves back to happiness immediately is to be captured in sadness and all the terrifying things it brings up. And with enthusiasm as one of our main powers, to expose ourselves to this strange scariness without that is equivalent to giving up on living. Or something like that.

    To the rest of you: I think you only think you understand sevens We're complex too even if it is accompanied by winking faces and dancing bananas sometimes

  8. #48
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    3-6-9
    3, 6, 9 damn you fine, move it to me, sock it to me one mor' time
    Get Low Get Low Get Low Get Low Get Low Get Low Get Low

    To seriously answer the OP, I understand all of the types, but I sometimes have difficulty imagining what it'd feel like to be a 4. I can't imagine myself behaving in so foreign a way.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  9. #49
    Senior Member Turtledove's Avatar
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    The types that don't get me. *irony*
    Save Thundercats 2011 petition. Because we do what we can. HO!!!:
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  10. #50
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    4s if you're so focused on being unique, authentic and special, why do you hate yourself so much? why do you feel so much shame and negative emotions? why do you try so hard to be yourself in the first place? isn't it more authentic to do something that you feel like than something that is deliberately against what other people are doing?
    I think this is a misconception...at least for me. I have to TRY to relate to others, try to NOT see myself as different, try to be content with being average/typical. That is what takes effort. Being "authentic" or going against the grain comes naturally enough that I have to try to go against it sometimes & not let it sabotage me. If it's natural for me to do what is typical, then I don't sweat it.

    So I don't think 4s deliberately try to be unique or make any effort to stay authentic. It's not that conscious; it's a deeply rooted drive we're talking about here.
    Rather, 4s automatically hone in on natural traits of theirs that truly are different from others & see that as their identity. This is why 4s may not even appear unique to others. They just need to feel unique, so they focus on what is different about themselves. Often, this results in someone who does appear unusual because they unconsciously choose to nurture those aspects of themselves over other aspects, simply because they DO see that as being true to themselves, as their identity rests on those traits. They may resist things which seem to force them to go against that identity (ie. the 4 who won't work anywhere that makes them wear a uniform, or whatever). They're not going to resist something they genuinely want to do just because it's normal, it's more that they seem to not want to do the typical ever, just naturally. Maybe it looks deliberate, but it's automatic.

    In a similar vein, 3s note what gets them accolades or success & amplify that to achieve more and 2s note what makes them appreciated/needed and they pursue that to get more of it. The image triad is not about putting on an act, but creating an identity around the qualities you genuinely possess in order to fulfill your core need. This noting is an automatic, unconscious thing also. It's not a rationally thought out plan.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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