I've been trying to figure out my instinct variant and am pretty sure that self-preservation is in it.
Often, it's as if I don't need people in my life. I'd be happy spending weeks alone researching and reading about the topics I'm interested in, or making the library my home.
About instinct variants, does it have more to do with how you act or what you REALLY want deep down? I ask that because I'm a contradiction. For someone who's so fascinated with self-discovery, I can be such a puzzle to myself.
Sp is probably first, although I wouldn't discount the possibility that it may be second.
The sexual and social variants are the ones I have trouble with.
Regarding the social variant:
I don't care too much about my status or position in society. I was never bothered with popularity nor felt threatened by peer pressure. Feeling superior in a group is something I definitely don't aim for. Clubs/groups/the elite - none of those really interest me, let alone the desire to rise in rank.
Regarding the sexual variant:
I fantasize about a close/romantic relationship but am at the same time afraid of such intimacy with another person. I'm nice and friendly with everyone but even my friends/acquaintances have pointed out that it's as if I walk around with a "Don't come too close" sign. It's a contradiction I don't understand. How can a person want a close bond with someone but convince herself to kill the idea as if it's disgusting or hopeless?
What are my instinct variants? Feel free to ask me questions. If it helps, I'm a 5w4 and possibly an INTP.