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  1. #1
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Default Differences/similarities of 3s & 1s (especially in an NFJ)

    I actually find 1s & 3s easy to confuse, especially when a person is a Feeling type. Both can seem driven, organized, holding high standards, etc.


    I want to generally compare & contrast them, but also with a view to typing my INFJ.

    I was leaning towards 3w4 for my INFJ, but now I'm thinking 1 (1w2?) is very plausible after reading about possible misidentifications between the two. I went through the descriptions & find them both equally applicable in some areas & equally not applicable in others...so needless to say, I am stumped.

    A few things about him:

    - has a strong need to be in some position of authority, and tends to resent those who are authorities whom he doesn't see as qualified
    - strong need to be admired & seem inspirational to others, likes to feel useful & needed
    - can appear very status conscious & ambitious, but denies these as motivations
    - when stressed, has mini emotional meltdowns where he'll wallow a bit, but then suddenly regroups quickly
    - is definitely aware of his emotions (3s supposedly are not so aware...?)
    - can appear cool & aloof with people at first, but can get mawkishly sentimental with those close to him
    - hates the idea of not being unique....likes to be different from others & goes out of his way to be different
    - can neglect close family/friends by being distracted by "lesser" people seeking his help
    - can be paranoid about how others view/treat him, thinking people are out to get him or have some personal bias against him
    - can be very insistent on organization, but is not mean about it & is more principle-oriented than stuck on rules....friends affectionately call him "Nazi" and "pitbull"
    - can be overly critical of things because his taste is narrow & picky, but he'll admit this flaw
    - has expressed he gets tired of "putting on a performance" in order to get ahead with people he thinks dislike him
    - places this huge emphasis on being sociable & friendly & interacting with people, but then is very quiet & reserved socially, hanging back at parties to observe
    - people often view him as a bit snobby
    - sometimes complains people don't do as much for him as he does for them in a half-joking manner, but it's not true
    - he seemed a lot less aware or interested in others' expectations of him when he was a child (according to him) & even rejected the avenues of achievement set before him,; as a child he sounded very Ni, but as an adult his Fe is quite obvious, so this definitely could account for that difference
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #2
    Senior Member Thunderbringer's Avatar
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    Default

    The difference between 3w4 and 1w2 is quite easy to recognize. Threes are more at ease when promoting themselves whereas Ones aren't. Ones come from a position of superiority, so they don't really feel the need to brag. Threes subconsciously feel less worthy than others so they brag in order to get noticed and acknowledged.
    We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion, and put to death by reality. - Judy Garland

  3. #3
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Hmm, perhaps some of your bf's traits could be social variant related. It might be an added difficultly to differentiate 3 from 1 if this is the case.

    From what I understand:

    Similarities
    determined
    self-disciplined
    seek self-improvement
    goal-driven
    perfectionistic
    seemingly sure of themselves (but often self-doubting)

    Differences
    1s are highly self-critical, 3s are not
    3s desire the spotlight, but 1s typically avoid it
    3s are very self-aware of their image, 1s don't care much about their's
    3s desire extrinsic models of success, where 1s value intrinsic ones
    1s will put everything on the line to adhere to their convictions, and 3s are more willing to compromise in order to preserve what matters to them
    1s are more rigid and 3s are more adaptable
    3s need affirmation from others to feel they are not worthless, but 1s desire affirmation to confirm that they are right

    As an aside: I remember reading somewhere that 3s are more likely to mistype as a 1 rather than the other way around. I'm not sure why though...
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  4. #4
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Hmm, perhaps some of your bf's traits could be social variant related. It might be an added difficultly to differentiate 3 from 1 if this is the case.

    From what I understand:

    Similarities
    determined
    self-disciplined
    seek self-improvement
    goal-driven
    perfectionistic
    seemingly sure of themselves (but often self-doubting)

    Differences
    1s are highly self-critical, 3s are not
    3s desire the spotlight, but 1s typically avoid it
    3s are very self-aware of their image, 1s don't care much about their's
    3s desire extrinsic models of success, where 1s value intrinsic ones
    1s will put everything on the line to adhere to their convictions, and 3s are more willing to compromise in order to preserve what matters to them
    1s are more rigid and 3s are more adaptable
    3s need affirmation from others to feel they are not worthless, but 1s desire affirmation to confirm that they are right

    As an aside: I remember reading somewhere that 3s are more likely to mistype as a 1 rather than the other way around. I'm not sure why though...
    3s are self critical as hell
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Motivation: Dark Worker
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  5. #5
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    3s are self critical as hell
    3 can be critical about their image, 1 are critical about their behavior and morality, commpletely different.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  6. #6
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    3 can be critical about their image, 1 are critical about their behavior and morality, commpletely different.
    I thought 3s were critical about both. is this not the case?
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  7. #7
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Common points
    High expectations from themselves as well as from others.
    Difficulties to delegate.
    Working hard, active, efficient, leanings to conclude

    Differences
    The 1's speech is sometimes moralsitic, the 3's is charged with vanity
    The 1 usually acomplish one task after another, the 3s have several on the back burner at the same time
    The 1 do things methodically, with pragmatism, the 3 is more charming an can change his target to adapt to situation or others's expectations
    The 1 is pessimistic and worry about errors from past and future, the 3 is optimistic and focused on success.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  8. #8
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    Common points
    High expectations from themselves as well as from others.
    Difficulties to delegate.
    Working hard, active, efficient, leanings to conclude

    Differences
    The 1's speech is sometimes moralsitic, the 3's is charged with vanity
    The 1 usually acomplish one task after another, the 3s have several on the back burner at the same time
    The 1 do things methodically, with pragmatism, the 3 is more charming an can change his target to adapt to situation or others's expectations
    The 1 is pessimistic and worry about errors from past and future, the 3 is optimistic and focused on success.
    damnit, I'm confused again
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  9. #9
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I thought 3s were critical about both. is this not the case?
    Not at all. 3s are focused on succes, not on critic.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  10. #10
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    Common points
    High expectations from themselves as well as from others.
    Difficulties to delegate.
    Working hard, active, efficient, leanings to conclude

    Differences
    The 1's speech is sometimes moralsitic, the 3's is charged with vanity
    The 1 usually acomplish one task after another, the 3s have several on the back burner at the same time
    The 1 do things methodically, with pragmatism, the 3 is more charming an can change his target to adapt to situation or others's expectations
    The 1 is pessimistic and worry about errors from past and future, the 3 is optimistic and focused on success.
    damnit, I'm confused again
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

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