3w4 vs 4w5 vs 5w4?

[Nymma]

My enneatype is one of those three. I was typed as a 4w5 for the past year. I was 100% sure that I was one--My greatest fear is to loose my identity, my personal meaning. My greatest need is to be unique, to reach complete authenticity.

BUT, because I not only wanted to be unique, but THE MOST UNIQUE person, and since I want to improve/expand/build on my identity instead of just sticking with who I am, I received feedback that my pattern was more 3w4-alike. I analysed myself and I did find a certain Three quality within myself---in areas I care about(writing, being unique,etc.) I want to surpass everyone else. Being unique would be sufficient just for now, but if I encountered someone equally unique, or even more unique that I am, I feel like I would loose my identity, because every "labelling" depends on the circumstances-it's all relative. So, to avoid loosing my sense of self,I would need to keep my uniqueness(because uniqueness is the door to personal meaning, which is what creates a worthwhile identity) and to keep my uniqueness, I feel the need to compete against every unique person I meet. "Winning" the "competition" ensures that maintain my identity-that I maintain my authenticity(because how can you taste the real you without your subjectivity--which comes with your own perspectives, your unique mark on things?).

I should mention that I am somewhat stuck between authenticity and uniquenes. Most of the time, I feel like they work in pair to shape my identity, but sometimes they could contradict each other. I am not willing to sacrifice one for the other, which makes me quite stuck in self-developement. I have other blocks too. I dread failure, incompetence--so much that it makes me procrastinate as a coping mechanism to avoid failure altogether. I'm too focused on self-analysis to be involved in "the real world", or to accomplish any goals I set for myself.

Anyway...I would say that I belong in the competency group and in the withdrawn one, which points towards 5 instead of 4 or 3. And I related fully to what is supposed to be the childhood developement that makes an E5 a Five in the first place.

http://pstypes.blogspot.com/2010/01/chilhood-scenarios-for-enneatypes-law.html

Like a 4, I feel defective, but unlike a 4, I know why I feel defective. I don't like to show my feelings(like if i'm falling apart) in public but I love to wallow in them in private and I even wallow frequently in empathy(yes, and odd concept...) It's like I am emotionally expressive generally, but when it comes to crying, I try to remain stoic--I usually fail because I have no self-control and am too sensitive. I'm too withdrawn to be a 4w3. Like a Five, I feel overwhelmed by the world. I need to be intellectually engaged and experience intense feelings at all time otherwise I wil feel disconnected, lost, helpless,etc.

My gut fix is either 9w1 or 1w9, probably the latter. My Head fix is 5w4 for sure. My Heart fix is either 4w5 or 3w4. I'm SP/SO.

Anyway...ask me anything you want. Any insights?

 

[theplacesyoullgo]

From your post, I'd guess you're either 4w3 or 4w5. Do you feel more of a connection to 3 or 5 overall? 4w3s are generally more outwardly charming and effortless than the 4w5s. Your emphasis on winning the uniqueness competition in your post makes me lean toward 4w3, but frankly a lot of it comes down to whether you actually project any sort of 3ish vibe in person (vs. just wishing you could win the competition, that is).

 

[Nymma]

From your post, I'd guess you're either 4w3 or 4w5. Do you feel more of a connection to 3 or 5 overall? 4w3s are generally more outwardly charming and effortless than the 4w5s. Your emphasis on winning the uniqueness competition in your post makes me lean toward 4w3, but frankly a lot of it comes down to whether you actually project any sort of 3ish vibe in person (vs. just wishing you could win the competition, that is).

Hmm, I'm not sure. I have that Three-winning-need in regards to uniqueness, but I also see a lot of Five in me. (Needing to understand & find meaning in the world, needing to analyse everything). It's really close, but I'd say 5. I'm too socially inept and uncertain to have any charm. Honestly, I'm sort of a recluse...Living as a hermit on an isolated island would be an ideal life for me. I'm rather quiet(anti-social, even) but occasionally, I find myself behaving like a 7w6(which is similar to 4w3, when I think of it). I usually don't have the kind of energy or interest to keep that up, though. Well...I guess I COULD be considered charming if one associate charm with being nice(Although I prefer to be alone and detest intrusion when in middle of analysis, there's not many people that annoy me, so...**shruggs**). I don't really manifest any competitive vibe in real life(except when I'm debating, I'm told). why, my best friend(since seven years) was absolutely shocked to find out that I was somewhat competitive/jealous when I told her. Apparently it doesn't show.

The reason why I didn't include 4w3 in my choices of enneatypes was that 4w3s are too...dramatic. They tend to create scenes(which I find childish), express too much. I am very expressive, yes, but I'm not emotionally expressive at the extent of blurting my feelings publicly, or do some drama for attention. Of course, not all 4w3s do that, but I find that even the most mature ones express things I wouldn't express. I mainly internalize, (or try to JUST internalize--not like I actually succeed). 4w3s are less self-conscious, more at ease with emotional(well...I'm really talking about crying, here)expression than I am. But, you know, maybe I'm a 4w3 with a more toned down emotional expression because of my self-preservation instinct..those tend to withdraw more, I beleive. Hmm...

 

[theplacesyoullgo]

Your writing has a certain nervous quality to it that's almost making me think you should explore 6, but nothing you've said has really indicated that you should... anyway, I'd totally and completely discount 3w4. As for 4w5 vs 5w4, maybe take a look at this.

 

[FunnyDigestion]

Your hanged man absolutely fucknig rulles.

Hanged man all the wya.

After that, the fool.

Hanged man, fol.

U rule.

Based onthis you are 4. ennegram foiur. dynno what after.

 

[Kierva]

Your writing has a certain nervous quality to it that's almost making me think you should explore 6, but nothing you've said has really indicated that you should... anyway, I'd totally and completely discount 3w4. As for 4w5 vs 5w4, maybe take a look at this.

I question the description of type 8 in that link.

Barbaric savages, we are?

 

[Elfboy]

I question the description of type 8 in that link.

Barbaric savages, we are?

well, 8w7s can be

 

[Mal12345]

I question the description of type 8 in that link.

Barbaric savages, we are?

How do you know you're an 8? (I mean type 8, not 8 out of 10.)

 

[Mal12345]

My gut fix is either 9w1 or 1w9, probably the latter. My Head fix is 5w4 for sure. My Heart fix is either 4w5 or 3w4. I'm SP/SO.

Anyway...ask me anything you want. Any insights?

4w5. Wanting to be more unique than everybody else is not a 3-wing trait. Your inner fragility, feeling damaged, sensitivity, point to 4. You probably desire to be understood by others. Another four-trait is to always be preparing to live life but never quite getting around to it.

 

[Kierva]

How do you know you're an 8? (I mean type 8, not 8 out of 10.)

How do you know I not a type 8 with sole basis in the form of forum posts?

 

[Mal12345]

How do you know I not a type 8 with sole basis in the form of forum posts?

You seem kind of 8-ish, I'm just asking if you took some tests or read Personality Types, etc.

 

[Kierva]

You seem kind of 8-ish, I'm just asking if you took some tests or read Personality Types, etc.

Extensive reading + multiple periods of introspection and lack of internal reference points as well as abused childhood have led me to conclude that I am indeed a type 8.

 

[Mal12345]

Extensive reading + multiple periods of introspection and lack of internal reference points as well as abused childhood have led me to conclude that I am indeed a type 8.

I get ya, except for "lack of internal reference points." What is that?

 

[Kierva]

I get ya, except for "lack of internal reference points." What is that?

it just means I don't know what I really am on the inside

 

[Nymma]

4w5. Wanting to be more unique than everybody else is not a 3-wing trait. Your inner fragility, feeling damaged, sensitivity, point to 4. You probably desire to be understood by others. Another four-trait is to always be preparing to live life but never quite getting around to it.

Yes, I need to be understood, but at the same time, I feel like no one can understand me, like I'm too complex to be summarized or to have my feelings trivalized by someone, like it often happens. It annoys me when someone say that they understand me, or that they're like me, because I want to avoid being common and because I think they cannot dig me up completly. So it's like I want to be understod but at the same time find it flattering that no one does. I'm annoyed when I'm not seen for who I am. Judge me on who I am and don't accept me, it's fine. But don't you dare judge me or accept me for who I am not.

The eternal preparation for life is something that really resonates with me. I always tell myself that one day, one day I will be able to do what I want/need to do, when I'll have zero shame left, when I'll be totally satisfied with my identity, when I'll be as unique/authentic/competent as it's possible to be. When I'll be able to handle the world. But alas, I get stuck in self-analysis instead, I make no moves to improve myself, I'm left with being an inadequate slop who never does anything, who never experiences what she wants to experience. One on hand, I feel like my inner life is richer anyway, but on the other hand, I feel like I'm missing things.

 

[Mal12345]

Yes, I need to be understood, but at the same time, I feel like no one can understand me, like I'm too complex to be summarized or to have my feelings trivalized by someone, like it often happens. It annoys me when someone say that they understand me, or that they're like me, because I want to avoid being common and because I think they cannot dig me up completly. So it's like I want to be understod but at the same time find it flattering that no one does. I'm annoyed when I'm not seen for who I am. Judge me on who I am and don't accept me, it's fine. But don't you dare judge me or accept me for who I am not.

The eternal preparation for life is something that really resonates with me. I always tell myself that one day, one day I will be able to do what I want/need to do, when I'll have zero shame left, when I'll be totally satisfied with my identity, when I'll be as unique/authentic/competent as it's possible to be. When I'll be able to handle the world. But alas, I get stuck in self-analysis instead, I make no moves to improve myself, I'm left with being an inadequate slop who never does anything, who never experiences what she wants to experience. One on hand, I feel like my inner life is richer anyway, but on the other hand, I feel like I'm missing things.

Would you say it all boils down to a feeling of being exempt?

 

[Nymma]

Would you say it all boils down to a feeling of being exempt?

Yes, I think so.

 

[Nymma]

Your writing has a certain nervous quality to it that's almost making me think you should explore 6, but nothing you've said has really indicated that you should... anyway, I'd totally and completely discount 3w4. As for 4w5 vs 5w4, maybe take a look at this.

Wow-those are honestly the best descriptions I have ever stumbled upon-thank you for referring them to me. I really relate to many of them: 5w4, 5w6, 3w4, 4w5, even 4w3. But I think the one I relate the most is 4w5.