What would you say are your 'grounding influences'?
One person that I trust. I must have one person that I can trust, and that person has to be someone who I consider to be knowledgeable and intelligent, and has good answers. They also must be "grounded" and reliable, a J-type.
There's no need to worry about making mistakes, just accept what you believe is most probable and call it true until something else becomes more probable. Life isn't full of one hundred percents, sometimes you'll never get to the answer unless you confidently make a mistake.
Jeez, I typed myself as 5, then 7, then 6, then 3, all the while scoring high on 9 on every quiz. I became each type for about a month (sometimes longer) until my subconscious mimicking of their traits wore off, and eventually on the bus ride home just coming off of mimicking type 3, I finally realized what type I'd always revert back to. Maybe yours will be the same?
Primary types (3,6,9) are least amenable to being sharply defined - they are more likely to resemble other types, though no one is a 'pure' type. Apparently I'm a very impure type
I've been unhealthily obsessed with the E-gram since getting into it one year and eight months ago. I was also obsessed with MBTI but as I never saw the same potential with that one it didn't go as far. My life was going downhill anyway, but this appears to be making my edginess and frustration worse, especially as I crave to discuss E-gram issues with other people – like I cannot resolve anything without someone else 'backing me up'. But forums are terrible for this – I crave a proper conversation, with an immediate response.
I don't understand it though because for six months I was fairly confident of being a six. This is a major achievement for someone like myself. But I can't stop questioning what apparently doesn't 'fit', such as being under-productive, self-indulgent, self-absorbed, spaced-out, sentimental etc. I typed as a six due to having apparently 'understood' and strongly felt the underlying type 'signature' at work in my mind.
Many times I have rationally explained to myself that no one can construct type descriptions (that are based on manifestations) that can apply to everyone of that type – behaviours and conscious thoughts cannot be reliably mapped to particular fixations - these are at best general trends. You see after a while you tend to find that the E-gram cannot really be understood through words alone, but through experience and gut-feeling.
But then someone says something along the lines of 'this type is like this or that' and I panic and have doubts again – why can't I just listen to my own sense of reason – why do I need everyone to agree with me?
Anyway, enough. I really want to give up on trying to understand myself as a 'type', but it's like I can't quit. I have decided to try to find a therapist to help me resolve my 'issues'. I crave to talk to someone in person about all this, including my obsession with 'finding my lost self', and because I honestly feel it is the only way I might be able to just try to understand myself as an individual, without worrying whether it fits a god-damn 'type' or not.
I can really empathize you here. I had a similar experience when i first discovered typology. I obsessed with both E-gram and MBTi. My type changed from INTP to INFP to ENTP to ENFP, and from 4 to 8 to 7 before some lovely people on typoc helped me realize i was a 4-7-8 tritype.
The best advice i can offer you is to:
a) IGNORE what other people say about your type. Everyone experiences things differently, and their type will manifest differently for them than it will for you. We're so quick to doubt ourselves. DON"T. If you say you're a 6, you're a 6. Don't view discrepancies as a need to panic and re-analyze your type. Just note "Oh, that's interesting" and think about it rationally as an impersonal idea.
b) ... I wish I had advice to give you pertaining to your need to discuss E-gram, but I don't. I'm struggling with the same thing because I don't have anyone to talk with in RL either. Even when my friends/family try a bit, they just don't understand it or understand why it's important to me. Besides, I don't want to talk to someone who only knows as much as I do because I'm the one who taught them, I want to argue with someone, I want to learn. If you figure something out let me know lol.
Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut
Thanks Chiharu. I think it is particularly a problem for people looking for something to help solve their inner-problems (not saying this applies to you necessarily). While the E-gram is meant to allow people to achieve self-actualisation without external help, I don't think the 'go it alone' approach is suited to everyone. I'm a big believer that what works for one person will not necessarily work for everyone.