• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

help skylights type herself? <3

OH GOOD A POLL

  • 2w3

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 3 (w2 or w4)

    Votes: 2 40.0%
  • 4 (w3 or w5)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • 6w7

    Votes: 1 20.0%
  • 7w6

    Votes: 2 40.0%

  • Total voters
    5

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
there really isn't such a thing as a typical ENFP. the combination of Ne, Fi and Te can go together in all sorts of ways. some ENFPs seem like INFPs, others ENFJs, still others ESFP, ENTJ, ENTP or even INTJ. Personality wise, ENFPs can be range anywhere from Anakin Skywalker, Maritin Short, Gwen Stefani or even Joseph Campbell. we can be the most shallow or the most deep people you'll ever meet and the most caring or the most heartless (it's true, we're nice and bubbly most of the time because we're EF, but several ENFPs really don't care about anyone but themselves haha)

Thanks.. But I can assure you, from where I am standing there is totally such thing as a typical ENFP.. I am aware humanity has a dichotomy that is not limited to ENFPs . I am also aware that every human has all 16 types present within them and that every human will Chanel all 16 of those types through out a life time.
It's Possible I am an ENFP myself .. I can confuse even the most unflappable people. And Anakin is an INFP :p LOL
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
4w5 is interesting. what makes you say 5?

I had considered 4w3 myself.. with the 3 wing adding the hint of E to an I person.

The way you break things down into components and lay them out side by side , observe and then rebuild is very Ti not Te .
You show individualistic investigative tendencies, meaning I have never seen you believe something just because someone told you to.
You do not join the group.. but will steadily maintain your position even if everyone else is of a different opinion.
You are not very Flaky :)

If I am right.. you will NOT agree with me.. :laugh:
 
B

brainheart

Guest
yeah, that's what really throws me off about 4. i really do not like, at all, lingering in dark emotions. i mean sometimes i'll listen to a sad song or two, but even my favorite sad songs are from musicals or video games or movies or whatever, that i know have happy endings in store later on. if i had to paint myself in colors, i'd say i'm a whole bunch of rainbow colors, and lots of sparkles, and some elegant zen black, and some cool watery turquoise and some warm blushing peach and some white... i dunno, does that say 4 to you?

No.
 

animenagai

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2008
Messages
1,569
MBTI Type
NeFi
Enneagram
4w3
Skylights: I'm exactly like that with my taste in music etc. o.0 Pretty sure I'm still a 4.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Skylights I like happy music (I went through this weird polka phase recently and have always loved 80's synth pop and new wave) but I also like stuff that is really dark, edgy, and disturbing. I want to see all sides of human nature, preferably all mixed up together - I don't necessarily want my light and dark seperate a lot of the time, because I think life is both.

I can brood and dwell, but I also have a very bright, light side to my personality - sometimes I visualize myself as a cat pouncing around the forum, that's how I feel mentally.

I feel things very, very deeply and as a younger person was ridiculously NF without much grounding of T or S, though actually that might not be true, since I've always liked nature and exploration, I'm also pretty tactile and physical - or can be - and that might be S.

"Grounded" is definitely a word I would use to describe you, but the way you describe happy music and bright colors actually sounds 7. Maybe the "grounding" comes from a 6 wing. Could you be a 7w6?

I thought I could be 6w7 for a minute, but I'm just too intense, and E 4 may also serve to explain the borderline Introvert/Extrovert quality of my personality, particularly with a more dramatic and showy 3 wing.

Do you consider yourself to be an elitist at all, or were you when you were younger? "I'm special and misunderstood" that kind of thinking?
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
It's pretty obvious to me that you're a DwP.




(Dumb White Person)
 
B

brainheart

Guest
Something I've noticed on here is the lack of EXFP 2s. Pretty sure that's supposed to be a common type for EXFPS. I'm married to one. I'd always though of him as seven-ish, but not quite. Six-ish, but not so anxious, not so in his head. I felt like I could never really get a hold of his type. Then I listed the motivations of all the types to him, asked him which he related to most, and he immediately responded, "To love and be loved- isn't it obvious?" And then suddenly, it was.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Thanks.. But I can assure you, from where I am standing there is totally such thing as a typical ENFP.. I am aware humanity has a dichotomy that is not limited to ENFPs . I am also aware that every human has all 16 types present within them and that every human will Chanel all 16 of those types through out a life time.
It's Possible I am an ENFP myself .. I can confuse even the most unflappable people. And Anakin is an INFP :p LOL

anakin is certainly not INFP
- great with technology (okay, this isn't exactly an ENFP thing either)
- aggressive
- thrives in intense situations
- always says what he's thinking
- impulsive
none of these traits are INFP at all.
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
5,152
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Anakin is a Type 8w7 ENFP. Move strongly to INTJ when he disintegrate in 5. In the Episode 1, he's really connected to the 2. Then he's totally disintegrated in 5 and become that Darth Vader ISTJ.

As for Skylight, I'd she's a 6w7 or a 7w6 So/Sx.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
actually, don't listen to me, I'm starting to think I'm a 7 and am now just as confused as you are XP

lol. sorry!! :hug:

I am also not very energetic, or practical, not getting shit done, and I also feel lazy by default. I don't really relate to any ennegram type, and I pretty much don't believe in the ennegram.

Why?

Because sometimes I'm really detached, sometimes I will talk non stop, laugh non stop, sometimes I won't say anything, I will just prefer to observe. I put a very big emphasis on harmony, I get REALLY pissed if someone provokes conflicts juts for the sake of provoking conflicts. Sometimes I'll try to be really good at what I do, just to see how far I can go. Sometimes I'll want be really helpful to people, and sometimes I won't care. Also I'm some sort of an individualist, mostly in winter, maybe because of my winter mood disorders, or maybe because I like it this way, I do things by myself, I don't know I get annoyed when I have to work in a group. I also resemble to type 6 alot, but I hate type 6, I don't wanna be like that, I don't want to be loyal to people who make me secure, because they can make me feel secure just to take advantage. And sometimes I'll stay at home a lot, developing some complex ideas about whatever, just to dumb them when they get old. Sometimes I isolate myself, sometimes I'll be surrounded by people a long period of time.

Out of all types I don't resemble 1, 8, and possibly type 2.

So which one am I supposed to be.

"7 THE ENTHUSIAST

The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered"

I'm only spontaneous, distractible and scattered. :laugh:

ugh, i know what you mean.

sometimes i'm critical and perfectionistic; sometimes i'm very loving and helpful, generous and attentive. sometimes i'm outgoing; usually i'm reserved but happy to engage; sometimes i'm very quiet. most people think i'm relatively introverted, though MBTI experts can peg me as ENFP right away. i'm usually good at what i do, but i don't have to be the very best... though i'd like to be! i guess more important is to address what really needs to be addressed - to get to the heart of the matter and make change if it needs to be made. i don't have a problem going along with the crowd sometimes, either. i like being "in" and included. sometimes i follow trends because they're fun... i don't have to be different to know i have worth. sometimes i'm analytical and innovative, but it's not really my most comfortable state. i'm loyal to values, but not a steady worker. i'm definitely versatile, spontaneous, and acquisitive, but i'm not always on the go. i tend to stand up to others and fight but i'm not particularly self-confident or decisive. i'm agreeable but i'm not very grounded, and i definitely put up a fight often enough.

I dont know how (un)successful you are, but you can be unsuccessful at life (even saying this is 3-ish statement :D) for various reasons that have nothing to do wit your type. I mean, you could grew up in shelter :D you think that every 3 is successful? Far from it. Important it being goal and achievement oriented, and I picked those vibes from you, very strong.
You can also be less successful than your friend because you are NP. ESJ 3 is totally different story.

haha, that's true. Js just have a natural advantage there, don't they! my friend is ENFJ, actually. and 3w2, probably sp/so. i think in some ways that actually makes it worse for me to compare with, because she's not just materially successful, but she's holistically successful. values-oriented successful. i don't really associate with the ESTJ 3 style, but i dunno. i think that what i really want, that makes me appear driven, is that i want to be whole/happy/successful both outside and inside. i mean, i want to be a good person, but i also want the life i live externally to match up to who i am inside. so i'm concerned about my image, because i feel like my external life - my jobs, my friends, my trips, how i look - i want it all to be in alignment with me, and i tend to believe that if it's good, it will generally be valued by the people i value (because of circular reasoning, lol).

so i guess my behavior also ends up aligning with 7, because i do things because they are genuinely appealing to me. i read a question once that was like "would you go on a cruise because it looks fun (7) or because it looks good (3)?" well, both? i mean, it looks good because it is an indicator that i'm successful, and i don't want to hide my achievements away. i'm proud of them, lol. but mostly you go on a cruise because it's just a great time! it's fun and luxurious. and i can't really lie, i do want to be a respected member of society. it's important to me because then i know i matter. but at the same time, i know a really obnoxious 3w4 who just has to tell EVERYONE about where she went and what she did and what D-list celebrity she met and god is she annoying. if her accomplishments were really that great, she wouldn't need to broadcast them. they would just make her happy. my 3w2 friend agrees that it's annoying, though, so i don't know what that means in terms of the enneagram.

maybe a better example... i like flying first class, sure (though i don't often, cause i'm a poor student, lol), because it's way more comfy, but i kind of feel bad that everyone else isn't. i mean, ideally, everyone would get to fly first class. we'd all be awesome... comfy and happy and having plenty of resources and successful at the things we like the most and want to do. as for hierarchies, i tend to like to be second-level in-charge... i really don't want to be the sole leader, because that's responsibility i don't particularly want to have alone (Js are better at this anyway, i'm not much one for leading groups for any sustained period of time) - but i like to have influence to assert when i want to. i love a VP position. i get to play support and spokesperson, enjoying the benefits while not bearing the weight of primary decision-making.

4w3? 3w4? or a 7 and all this "need to anchor/be accepted" comes from w6?

all of this sounds like me. I've been wandering if being 7 necessitates have high amounts of energy or if being 4 necessessitates being melancholy and enjoying wallowing in negative emotions. we really sound a lot alike :hifive:
i know right! :hifive:

glad to know i'm not alone!!

sorry you're having trouble too though.

Thanks.. But I can assure you, from where I am standing there is totally such thing as a typical ENFP.. I am aware humanity has a dichotomy that is not limited to ENFPs . I am also aware that every human has all 16 types present within them and that every human will Chanel all 16 of those types through out a life time.
It's Possible I am an ENFP myself .. I can confuse even the most unflappable people. And Anakin is an INFP :p LOL

lol, good points.

and actually - i've read great arguments for anakin being an ISFP. leads with Fi, assisted by kickass Se, and underpinned by Ni envisioning, which can turn into NF idealistic looping with emphasis on archetypes (eg, padme being his "angel" and LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER).

I had considered 4w3 myself.. with the 3 wing adding the hint of E to an I person.

The way you break things down into components and lay them out side by side , observe and then rebuild is very Ti not Te .
You show individualistic investigative tendencies, meaning I have never seen you believe something just because someone told you to.
You do not join the group.. but will steadily maintain your position even if everyone else is of a different opinion.
You are not very Flaky :)

If I am right.. you will NOT agree with me.. :laugh:

:laugh:!!

i appreciate the compliments :) ... though i'm afraid i'm a little more flaky IRL. more to lose there. how interesting, that you see more Ti than Te. i always thought i was really Ti-stupid. true that i almost never believe anything someone tells me just because they say so... though i always sort of thought that was common sense, more than enneatype. perhaps i need to think again :)


:laugh: yeahhh

Skylights: I'm exactly like that with my taste in music etc. o.0 Pretty sure I'm still a 4.

yeah? sweet!! how did you know you were a 4, otherwise?

Skylights I like happy music (I went through this weird polka phase recently and have always loved 80's synth pop and new wave) but I also like stuff that is really dark, edgy, and disturbing. I want to see all sides of human nature, preferably all mixed up together - I don't necessarily want my light and dark seperate a lot of the time, because I think life is both.

I can brood and dwell, but I also have a very bright, light side to my personality - sometimes I visualize myself as a cat pouncing around the forum, that's how I feel mentally.

I feel things very, very deeply and as a younger person was ridiculously NF without much grounding of T or S, though actually that might not be true, since I've always liked nature and exploration, I'm also pretty tactile and physical - or can be - and that might be S.

"Grounded" is definitely a word I would use to describe you, but the way you describe happy music and bright colors actually sounds 7. Maybe the "grounding" comes from a 6 wing. Could you be a 7w6?

I thought I could be 6w7 for a minute, but I'm just too intense, and E 4 may also serve to explain the borderline Introvert/Extrovert quality of my personality, particularly with a more dramatic and showy 3 wing.

Do you consider yourself to be an elitist at all, or were you when you were younger? "I'm special and misunderstood" that kind of thinking?

a little bit elitist, but less in the sense of "misunderstood" and more in the sense of "special" and "like to be in a different tier". it's a little tricky to figure out when i was younger, because i was almost always the very top of my class (not to sound like a braggy ass, i just happened to do well on tests), and always rewarded for it. i guess i came to see all the perks that consistently came with being in that kind of position, and enjoyed them. due to life circumstances i've always (since birth) been a bit of an odd one out, and i think i came to understand that place - one where you're different, in a good way - as one in which i can circumvent the rules that i find stupid - which isn't all of them, just a lot of them. :laugh:

so when you're "special", you're outside of the socially-bound group, and the restrictions don't apply any longer (ie, you can do what you want without other people trying to stop you or thinking poorly of you for it) and that's the draw for me. it's more of a tool than an internal need.

i also like being in the "elite" because... well, i don't really know. i guess i just want to be someone important. i think that being important in society reinforces to myself that i am important in my own life, and in the greater picture. i don't want to have a meaningless life, and having a position like that keeps me responsible. it ensures i have a bigger impact and don't just absorb into myself. i also like to be at the heart of the action, and i know being upper tier gets you privileges to being where world-changing things take place. i think mostly i'm an elitist in the sense that i want the opportunity to have influence. it's not wanting power, exactly, because i don't want the responsibility - it's not like an e8 thing - but it's about being in a position to be able to leverage change when i think it really needs to happen. i'm kind of lazy in general but i don't mind putting in a ton of legwork when i really care about an issue.

and of course i also really just like the sensory perks. bigscreen tv, comfy chair, fast car, general Se binge for my little Sensotarded self, etc... but seriously, atmospheres are important. i like creating atmospheres that make me... well, happy to be me.

anyway, as for music... i like my light with a little bit of nitty-gritty, if that's what you mean. like pink's "raise your glass" :) light with a little bit of party?

i suppose i could be a 6w7?

the problem:

enneagraminstitute said:
The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working (sometimes. when i REALLY care. but only in short bursts), responsible, and trustworthy (errrr... kinda depends on what we're talking about...). Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.

so much stability :laugh: my dad's a 5w6, and i see the 6 in him. i have a hard time seeing it in myself as enneatype, though possibly wing. if it is, it's a very different "flavor" than the 5w6 my dad has. he's very protective and security-oriented. i would be more defensive and rebellious (both like on Fi terms - defensive of things i care about and rebellious when i feel like the status quo is harmful).

It's pretty obvious to me that you're a DwP.




(Dumb White Person)

:tongue:

Something I've noticed on here is the lack of EXFP 2s. Pretty sure that's supposed to be a common type for EXFPS. I'm married to one. I'd always though of him as seven-ish, but not quite. Six-ish, but not so anxious, not so in his head. I felt like I could never really get a hold of his type. Then I listed the motivations of all the types to him, asked him which he related to most, and he immediately responded, "To love and be loved- isn't it obvious?" And then suddenly, it was.

interesting. i guess i could be a 2? i just... i dunno, it wasn't a type i immediately saw myself in. i'm very 2ish around an SO but not so much with everyone else. it's true that i think loving and being loved is very important. maybe not the most important though... i think maybe what is most important to me is living a life of love in general - loving life - and making positive change in your world. becoming self-actualized, if you will. i don't know what enneatype that would translate into, though.

i like the way you worded this. :)

anakin is certainly not INFP
- great with technology (okay, this isn't exactly an ENFP thing either)
- aggressive
- thrives in intense situations
- always says what he's thinking
- impulsive
none of these traits are INFP at all.

could correlate with ISFP via Se though :D

Anakin is a Type 8w7 ENFP. Move strongly to INTJ when he disintegrate in 5. In the Episode 1, he's really connected to the 2. Then he's totally disintegrated in 5 and become that Darth Vader ISTJ.

As for Skylight, I'd she's a 6w7 or a 7w6 So/Sx.

he changes a lot in the movies... hard to decide whether to interpret it at character shifting or just shitty screenwriting.

anyway thank you for the opinion! :)
so/sx is probably right. :yes:
 
Last edited:

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
well, just read the thread on 4s and family issues, so i thought i'd throw these info nuggets in for consideration:

family --

have always had a pretty good relationship with both parents. was kind of an ass during my teenage years, and did the usual rebellion thing. had lots of yelling matches with dad, my sledgehammer Te vs his masterful Ti. skipped class a bit because i didn't like doing my work and then would be avoidant, but still managed to graduate with honors. mom and i are close, dad and i bond over random intellectual crap, and my brother and i share quirky Ne humor. if anything, i'm too attached to my family. they frustrate me sometimes and i try to help them change for the better (typical NFP), and that annoys them. i can't really blame them for that, lol.

friends --

through elementary and middle i usually had one or two close friends who i hung out with a lot (the person/people would usually change every year or two. i was a serial best friend, lol.) what else... i was on the dance team for a while with the popular kids in middle school. a lot of them were assholes and not worth the trouble i put myself through, but getting to be a part of the dance team was fun. i had low self-confidence in high school (mostly thanks to an eating disorder developed in middle school) but a really good group of nerdy friends (we were almost all AP students, so we related), and i still keep up with a few of them. in college i got better self-confidence and tended to hang out with people from student government and other organizations, some of whom are now very very good friends. i tend towards overachievers, but not the top top overachievers, the ones that are still fun - the ones who are a little bit of trouble but totally get away with it. i also might be the one who inspires trouble sometimes. i was also always that kid who tended to have a couple friends from lots of different groups, even though those people didn't always get along with each other. that can make for some really awkward situations, lol. i'm fast to make acquaintance-friends but slow to develop good friends.

relationships --

despite the supposed ENFP tendency to flirt and run, i tend to have long, hard crushes. most of my relationships (i have not had many) have been fairly long, comfortable things that have had a few fiery arguments in between but ended peacefully. i tend to linger after others even when the possibility is really not a possibility anymore.

honestly i'm kind of socially boring. :huh:
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
:laugh:

i feel like i came off more 3 than i am... or maybe i'm just realizing that i'm more 3 than i thought i was.

i'm more 3 than 4, in any case.

can i just be a 7w3w4?
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
oh, and here's my dream to-do list, cause that was popular in another thread.

1. do good in the world
2. via a high-paid prestigious job that i rock at and enjoy and only have to do a few days a week
3. travel as much as possible - uae, bali, sri lanka, slovenia, japan, morocco, etc...
4. live on the beach, have an awesome house that looks like a island treehouse resort
5. have horses
6. sail around the world in a giant sailboat (but i'll skip crossing the oceans, i just want to bounce port-to-port)
7. play violin with an orchestra, or even better, sing solo, or with a little band
8. have a really fun, amazing car, drive it on a racetrack
9. get comfortable enough with myself and my body that i can go out one day and not feel totally self-conscious (even better if i look smoking hot)
10. motorcycle.
11. become a minister, hang out with the dalai lama
12. tinker with the LHC, win nobel prize
13. be a J instead of a P :laugh:
 

Forever_Jung

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
2,644
MBTI Type
ESFJ
I suspect that, ENFPs (and probably ENTPs too), are less likely to relate to one type of the Enneagram. I find ENFP's in particular unsure of their type, usually torn between: 7w6, 4w3, 3w4. I myself find it hard to pin ENFPs down to one E-type. My thinking is: The Enneagram is basically just 9 styles of coping mechanisms. The idea is that most of us often fall back on the same style too much. We often do this because it plays to our strengths and feels comfortable, but it can also get us stuck in a rut and perpetuate unhealthy loops.Ne-doms may be less likely to relate to just one coping mechanism, because Ne is fluid and adaptable. Ne-doms supposedly have the most coping skills of any type:

discoveryourpersonality.com said:
ENFP:

Ranked 1st of all 16 types in using social and emotional coping resources and 2nd in using cognitive resources.

ENTP:

With ENFPs, had highest mean level of coping resources.

I couldn't find the link to where it is at the site, but it was what was cited on the personalitycafe threads:

http://personalitycafe.com/entp-articles/17894-entp-statistics.html

http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-articles/5642-enfp-statistics.html


I intend to research this idea a bit more to see if it has any legs.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
^ well that would make a lot of sense actually.

it seems like many ENTPs would be caught between 7, 5, and 3, and many ENFPs between 7, 4, and 3.
though i have also seen ENTP 8s.

i guess one of the aspects is that Ne adapts a lot situationally. it's weird to think of narrowing yourself down to one category when you are constantly changing to suit environments. Se does this too but in a more grounded sense... for us it's kind of in the realm of conceptualizations.

in any case i am wearing my 3 / INTJ professional facade today. little affection for gooey-style Fi at the moment. :coffee:
 

guesswho

Active member
Joined
Jul 9, 2010
Messages
1,977
MBTI Type
ENTP
I am
7 when healthy and happy
6 most of the times when I'm default
4 when I relatively stressed
3 when I am most stressed
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
This will be my last attempt to explain :laugh:

You have to be careful about 3. Threes are the types that question their type the most; because profiles describe people who cant have anything lower than PhD before 23, and who are incredibly narcissistic, and because 3-ish attitude is so well accepted that you think "oh, the fact that i am image conscious doesnt prove anything, everybody is". Yes, everybody is because of culture, not ever Hollywood celeb is a Three, but many many are, that is what they ask for you.
Also a thing to be careful is that if you are a 3, YOU will relate to ALL OTHER TYPES IF you wish to relate. If you think it'd LOOK cool to be a 7, you will take over some 7's characteristics, if you think 5s are so wise you will take over 5, it happens so unconsciously that most 3s spend their whole lives living in roles and not avare of it. It's typical 3.
What I am saying here is what King-of-Despair realized in his own example while he was posting here, you can browse his posts, he was between 7,5,9,7,5,3,7 switching back and forth and I told him immediately he is a 3, because he vibes this way, months later he said he thought he is a 7 because he values some of seven's attitude so tried to take over that, but realized he is only 3, not a mix.
And if someone even remotely relates to taking over something as their own identity - he is very likely a Three.

All people are to a degree image conscious and take over roles because that's requiered in world, you have you business self, your private self, but 3s do it much more and much better, and they cant not do it (unless they are no longer fixated).
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I am
7 when healthy and happy
6 most of the times when I'm default
4 when I relatively stressed
3 when I am most stressed

you sound like a 6w7, and probably a counterphobic 6. your stress would be 3. at your healthiest, you grow to 9 which allows you to relax and find peace, and your 7 wing has more room to come out and be crazy and fun.
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
5,152
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
well, just read the thread on 4s and family issues, so i thought i'd throw these info nuggets in for consideration:

family --

have always had a pretty good relationship with both parents. was kind of an ass during my teenage years, and did the usual rebellion thing. had lots of yelling matches with dad, my sledgehammer Te vs his masterful Ti. skipped class a bit because i didn't like doing my work and then would be avoidant, but still managed to graduate with honors. mom and i are close, dad and i bond over random intellectual crap, and my brother and i share quirky Ne humor. if anything, i'm too attached to my family. they frustrate me sometimes and i try to help them change for the better (typical NFP), and that annoys them. i can't really blame them for that, lol.

friends --

through elementary and middle i usually had one or two close friends who i hung out with a lot (the person/people would usually change every year or two. i was a serial best friend, lol.) what else... i was on the dance team for a while with the popular kids in middle school. a lot of them were assholes and not worth the trouble i put myself through, but getting to be a part of the dance team was fun. i had low self-confidence in high school (mostly thanks to an eating disorder developed in middle school) but a really good group of nerdy friends (we were almost all AP students, so we related), and i still keep up with a few of them. in college i got better self-confidence and tended to hang out with people from student government and other organizations, some of whom are now very very good friends. i tend towards overachievers, but not the top top overachievers, the ones that are still fun - the ones who are a little bit of trouble but totally get away with it. i also might be the one who inspires trouble sometimes. i was also always that kid who tended to have a couple friends from lots of different groups, even though those people didn't always get along with each other. that can make for some really awkward situations, lol. i'm fast to make acquaintance-friends but slow to develop good friends.

relationships --

despite the supposed ENFP tendency to flirt and run, i tend to have long, hard crushes. most of my relationships (i have not had many) have been fairly long, comfortable things that have had a few fiery arguments in between but ended peacefully. i tend to linger after others even when the possibility is really not a possibility anymore.

honestly i'm kind of socially boring. :huh:

The more I read you, the more I think 6w7 for you Skylight. I thought about the 7w6 option but what you say here relate very much to Type 6, plus the wing 7 who make you more extrovert, upbeat, energetic and pleasure oteiented. That can explain a lot of your confusions.

Type 6 is connected to 3 under stress because thay fear to appear weak or to fail and be atacked by authorities and their social environement. In security, they are also connected to 3 because tehy want to be achiever and admired for this, they are optimistic and want to accomplish great thing, this is especially true for 6s with the 7 wing. At the same time, 6s are often very creatives and intuitives, and can also be easily be moody and dispressed because they are focused on the negative side of the situations and frequently live intense emotions.Especially, 6w7s are also versatile, genteel and diva, and are mistyped frequently as 4w3. 3w4, 4w3, 6w7 and 7w6 are the four divas of the enneagram, and probably the four most currents types among ENFPs. 6w7s are 3ish, 4ish, 7ish, and I think this is your type.

Maybe I'm wrong, but do you relate to that description?

6w7 - Seeking Security and Stimulation

•LifeExplore

Sixes with a 7 wing are generally outgoing and may appear more overtly nervous. More plainly want to be liked and will pursue others in contrast to 5 wing who pulls in. Can be charming, sociable, ingratiating. Have a faster tempo, stronger connection to 3. Often self-preservation subtypes, characterized by a personal warmth. Can have a cheerful, forward-looking drive and be disarmingly funny. Self-effacing, gracious and curious. When more entranced, may be self-contradicting and seem as if they want two things at once. Sometimes test others overtly, drive you crazy with mixed messages. It may be hard to follow what they're saying. When threatened, one defense is to become impossible to please. When counterphobic, they tend to be accusative. Some get caught up in big plans that they hope will result in material security. Also can be insecure, irritable, petty, irrational, chaotic. Subject to mood swings, inferiority complexes, runaway fears. May have hair-trigger flare-ups of paranoia. Falsely accuse others and then seem not to realize it. Other times they plead to be taken care of. Sometimes defensively conservative in their lifestyle. Some struggle with appetite.

Then assuming that your instinctual variant is So/Sx/Sp, your description should be:

Social 6 - Seeking Acceptance/Belonging/Inclusion/Status

•Udit Patel "Generating Support (Ichazo's "Duty")"

Social Sixes look for security in the social sphere—that is, through their affiliations with different people and organizations. They are warm, engaging, and humorous, trying to send out the message that they are approachable and safe. They like to enlist people, getting others involved in projects or activities they see as worthwhile. Social Sixes frequently volunteer to work in groups and committees. They do not necessarily enjoy doing this, but they see it is necessary and so are willing to give their time and energy. They want to be regarded as regular guys or gals and may have difficulty taking stands that would be unpopular in their peer groups. They seek consensus before moving ahead with their agendas and they want to feel that others are "with them," backing them up. Although Social Sixes like being involved, they often become nervous about holding positions of responsibility because they are afraid that they will have to make decisions that others will not like, thus losing their support. When more insecure, their suspiciousness may lead them to form in-groups and out-groups in the workplace or in other social or societal areas.


•LifeExplore

Social Sixes tend to be dutiful and especially dependent upon authority. More often phobic than counterphobic. Often dedicated to a cause. When acting alone they will still refer to others in their mind for safety and agreement. May want to see your opinion first before they will offer their own. Could change their mind to agree with you. Often align with a group or a cause and will follow the rules loyally, trying to please the boss. "Company men." Focus on a social or work context and try to be ideal within it. Could persecute others in the name of their group's ideals. May imagine they can't live without the group's support: "If I don't play by the rules I'll be out on the street selling pencils." Later there's inevitable disillusionment. Then Six starts grumbling that they are not appreciated. Could go passive/aggressive, resent a boss they had romanticized. Connection to 9 is stronger with this subtype.

Then:

Sexual 6 - Seeking Intimacy/Intensity

•Udit Patel "Feisty Vulnerability (Ichazo's "Strength and Beauty")"

Sexual Sixes get their sense of security primarily from their emotional bond with a significant other. But they also have many doubts, both about their own ability to have a suitable mate and about the mate's ability or willingness to really be there for them. Sexual Sixes often manifest a tension between their gender roles: they are both masculine and feminine, "macho" and coquettish. Moreover, Sexual Six women have a tough, tomboy side to them but still come across as feminine. Similarly, the men of this Variant display a sensitivity and vulnerability while being essentially masculine. Sexual Sixes also tend to be emotionally intense, like Eights and Fours. Part of this comes from anxiety about their ability to keep a strong, capable partner. Thus, Sexual Sixes try to cultivate their masculine or feminine attributes in order to find a good partner and, later, to remain appealing to this person. Often, they feel most comfortable relating to members of the opposite sex and may feel competitive with the same sex. They also tend to test their significant others to see if they are strong enough and to make sure that they are really committed to the relationship. When more stressed, Sexual Sixes can be emotionally volatile, with their feelings about people changing strongly and suddenly. They fall into suspiciousness about their partner and can be quite jealous, while at the same time feeling a strong need to "prove" their desirability.


•LifeExplore

Sixes with this subtype tend to act strong or seductive when insecure. They are much more likely to be counterphobic, especially the men. May seem like Eights, take risks, talk tough. Act powerful and in control at the times when they feel most frightened. Worry about looking weak, having their fears show. May act arrogant but aren't really. Some study martial arts or seek a way of life that makes them strong. Beauty is another focus; trying to seem attractive so as to contain fear, get approval, and distract others. May consciously hide behind a seductive mask. Unlike Threes, Sixes know they are hiding. Can act cool and patrician or be flirty. Some have a focus on aesthetics. This subtype often has a stronger connection to the vanity of 3.

Then:

Self-Preservation 6 - Seeking Saftey/Comfort

•Udit Patel "Responsibility (Ichazo's "Affection")"

Self-Preservation Sixes find their security through safeguarding resources—money, food, property, shelter, and so forth—and tend to chronically worry about these things. ("Have the bills been paid?" "Have the car's brakes been checked recently?" "Do we have enough insurance?") They care a great deal about safety and thrift. Indeed, Self-Pres Sixes feel most secure when they are responsible for financial matters, and believe that their effective running of these affairs is something they can contribute. When they are less secure, however, they do not trust others to be responsible. They need to be constantly informed, if not entirely in control, of practical matters that affect them. Self-Pres Sixes can be funny and friendly and want to be involved and engaged, but they have difficulty relaxing, especially around unfamiliar others. They are more introverted and more likely to be loners than the other Sixes. When more stressed, they may stay in punishing situations longer than they should (bad jobs, bad marriages) or become concerned with having control of resources, like a less healthy Eight.


•LifeExplore

Self-preservation Sixes often display a personal warmth that is meant to defang the potential hostility of others. If they sense aggression or disapproval in the environment, they may counterphobically zero in on it. Use humor, charm, self-depreciation to make friends out of possible enemies. Can flatter like Twos, play themselves down, work to maintain other people's affection. Act vulnerable, invite rescue. Ingratiating, but more nervously dependent than other Six subtypes. Also less in touch with their own hostility. Their home environment is sometimes important. May feel like their house is a fortress against the outside world's dangers. Worry about their ability to survive; have scary "worst-that-can-happen" fantasies.
I am
7 when healthy and happy
6 most of the times when I'm default
4 when I relatively stressed
3 when I am most stressed

Every people have ONE type. To be unable to identify the your prove just that you don't understand that model.
 
Top