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  1. #41
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    haha. You keep correcting me about that. I keep wanting to think you're a 7. I promise it'll get ingrained in my brain eventually. You? Nervous? What? Awe, now I really am thinking you're sort of like Adam Sandler in his interviews.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  2. #42
    brainheart
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    This thing about attention... I had an interesting experience last night. I went over to a friend's house and we played the game Guesstures. If you've never played it before, which I hadn't, it's like charades with a timer. People have to guess four words you act out within thirty(?) seconds. Anyway, I realized that in situations like this, same with rock band, I am not even remotely self-conscious. The couple of times I've acted it's been the same way. Everyone just kind of disappears and I do my thing. And I guess I'm good at it because people guessed 8 out of the 8 charades I acted.

    However, half an hour later, one of the people at the party asked what I do and I know I turned bright red and all I wanted to do was run to the bathroom and hide. I'm cool with having attention on me when pretending, I've realized, but when it gets personal, I cannot deal. For example, playing my own songs I've written in front of others: It truly does make me feel ill. I want to, I want to share, but...

    I think it's because I consider the personal to be precious and I don't just like tossing it around. It seems like it cheapens what matters to me in some way. Also, if people knew how sensitive and vulnerable I really am, would that be weird? Would that make them run away? Most people are turned off by depth of feeling. I don't know. I don't want to share it with just anyone.

  3. #43
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    i like the signature, btw. i think i am more SO.

    awe, if you befriended other Fi-dom's, sharing the personal would be preferred. sometimes, i feel as though other interactions are in vain. though, don't get me wrong, very entertaining and fun. but i love getting to really know people personally one on one.

    but i can see what you mean... if someone i'm not so comfortable sharing with asked me a personal question, i'd get uncomfortable as well. even questions like, "what do you hope to do in the future?/school?/etc.?" make me uncomfortable depending on the person and how long i've known you. as a server, i get a lot of customers who will actually ask me these types of questions and it makes me uncomfortable every time. some customers like to get too personal for my tastes.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  4. #44
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    This thing about attention... I had an interesting experience last night. I went over to a friend's house and we played the game Guesstures. If you've never played it before, which I hadn't, it's like charades with a timer. People have to guess four words you act out within thirty(?) seconds. Anyway, I realized that in situations like this, same with rock band, I am not even remotely self-conscious. The couple of times I've acted it's been the same way. Everyone just kind of disappears and I do my thing. And I guess I'm good at it because people guessed 8 out of the 8 charades I acted.

    However, half an hour later, one of the people at the party asked what I do and I know I turned bright red and all I wanted to do was run to the bathroom and hide. I'm cool with having attention on me when pretending, I've realized, but when it gets personal, I cannot deal. For example, playing my own songs I've written in front of others: It truly does make me feel ill. I want to, I want to share, but...

    I think it's because I consider the personal to be precious and I don't just like tossing it around. It seems like it cheapens what matters to me in some way. Also, if people knew how sensitive and vulnerable I really am, would that be weird? Would that make them run away? Most people are turned off by depth of feeling. I don't know. I don't want to share it with just anyone.
    I actually really relate to this a lot. If I'm acting then I don't mind at all but I get really uneasy when things start to get even slightly personal. I actually have a lot of paintings, drawings, and poetry that I'll only show certain people.

    And yeah it does seem like people often are really turned off by depth of feeling. It's kinda weird.
    "To find beauty in loss, hope in darkness."

  5. #45
    brainheart
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    Yeah, IAJ, that's true. If it's one on one with a person I 'connect' with, I'm very free about sharing myself (probably overly). But still, the first time I sang a song for such a friend, I really did feel like I was going to die- sweating like crazy, practically hyperventilating, etc. It's less that way with artwork and writing, but music... I feel like my music is direct access to my heart.

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