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  1. #41
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    i don't like any generic compliment that could be applied to anyone, a true compliment has to be specially tailored towards me. so anything standard or generic is bad for a 4.
    +1
    I don't like being told generic compliments because it just shows that the person giving the compliment knows nothing about me. Don't tell me you think I'm pretty or that you like my skin- tell me that you like that way I do my makeup or you really enjoy my morbid/almost socially unacceptable sense of humor. Gotta be a bit more specific with me. Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world (*cough* Over popular song reference *cough*).

    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Back-handed compliment about my appearance. "You look so good with make up.... without it, with your head down, and your small body, you look like a retarded little girl". hahaha.
    I always get kind of upset when I get more compliments on my hair when it's straight because it makes me feel like nobody actually likes my normal curly hair. It really doesn't make sense for me to think this way.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  2. #42
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    "You're so calm and easygoing".

  3. #43
    Member GreatBigCranberries's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Back-handed compliment about my appearance. "You look so good with make up.... without it, with your head down, and your small body, you look like a retarded little girl". hahaha.
    Backhanded compliments aren't really intended to be compliments though, are they?

    I hate it whenever I'm worried about something and someone tells me (and someone usually does) that "You're so smart, you'll be fine." You do not know that I'll be fine. Don't talk like you do. When it comes to anything academic (especially tests and exams) everyone seems to take it as a going concern that I'll do wonderful. Everyone except me. It is very frustrating.

    This isn't a verbal compliment, but I'll add it because someone could potentially take it as a compliment: I get irritated when people assume that I know everything. This has a habit of happening with most groups of people if I spend enough time with them. Someone brings up a question to which they don't know the answer, suddenly everyone looks at me like they're waiting for something. I'm not an encyclopedia. I don't know. Go look it up yourself.

  4. #44
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by GreatBigCranberries View Post
    Backhanded compliments aren't really intended to be compliments though, are they?
    It really depends on the person. I think girls are more likely to be malicious about it and guys can be rather dense, generally speaking. Also, some folks are more prone to make comments where it just comes out much more differently than they intended it to.

    The person who made that comment was honestly trying to give me a compliment with no ill-intent.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    I don't think is type related, but the only kind of compliments I can think of that I don't enjoy are when people say things like this to me:

    OMG! You're always happy, I love it! I wish I could live in your world!

    I just want to take you home, and put you on my shelf and you can entertain me all day long!


    They're expressed as if they're compliments, and I'm glad they enjoy my presence, but by the same token, I find them dehumanizing.

    I don't want to be robbed of my nuance. Just because I am upbeat and humorous around people doesn't mean I go home and hum a merry tune and have no problems or negative emotions.

    I am not your pet!

    Come to think of it, my complaints sound very 4ish.

  6. #46
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    Sometimes when I say nice things to a person such as "you're so smart", "you're so calm", "you're so confident", "you're so talented", "you're so WHATEVER" I don't actually mean it as as compliment. Usually my "compliments" mean that the person makes me feel so ....so ...SO bad about myself since I am not like them in that particular way.

  7. #47
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    OMG! You're always happy, I love it! I wish I could live in your world!

    I just want to take you home, and put you on my shelf and you can entertain me all day long!
    The happy-go-lucky ones are dehumanizing a little. On the one hand, I like that people notice that I am a happy person. Truly, I am, and it shows I believe, and I think that really just is not the norm for people anymore for some reason.

    On the other hand. It makes me nervous to hear those, because I'm scared people will start to expect it. I am still human. I have bad days, I don't want to smile to the point of being creepy, I am relaxed and chill and calm and angry and sad and all of those things. So when people start *expecting* me to act happy when it isn't going to come natural, it annoys and irritates rather quickly--to the point of instantly distancing myself from a person.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  8. #48
    Senior Member Evil Otter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    IDK, I can't really think of compliments I don't like.
    Quote Originally Posted by superunknown View Post
    Same, and I thought a fair deal about it.

    *E9 hi-five*
    9 sx/sp and same here. Can't think of a single compliment that bothers me. I may not think something applies in which case I'll say "thank you" and be thinking "really?" but I won't be offended by it.

  9. #49
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    "You're really smart!"

    Usually their revelatory tone and circumstances imply they thought I wasn't.
    Happens to me, too. I'm used to it because it happens so often. I know for a fact that it's because of my age and gender (mostly gender) -- might be age on your part, too.
    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    I always get kind of upset when I get more compliments on my hair when it's straight because it makes me feel like nobody actually likes my normal curly hair. It really doesn't make sense for me to think this way.
    I wonder if this is universal? One of my least favorite things is when I dress up, do my hair differently, wear more makeup, or something else along those lines, and someone says "You look soooo pretty!!... uh, not that you aren't pretty normally, but today you look reeeeally pretty!"
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


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    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  10. #50
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    "youre like a typical male!" its funny how someone couldve said this to me, since im pretty much the opposite of that.

    "youre so peaceful!" uhh.. what? yeah, i know your company relaxes me, but is that _really_ the most notable quality about me? =| (three people have said this to me, i think its just weird.)

    "hes so proper, he doesnt smoke, doesnt drink alcohol, doesnt waste money, behaves right and BLABLABLABLABLABALB~~!!!" UMM.. ok! =/?? (i just consider those as granted, that everyone should be that way.)

    "youre a normal guy." ... i know thats youre way of saying im cool, but thats still insulting.

    reading those ocmpliments without my comments on them.. makes me seem like some sort of ESTJ 9w1 lols. =)

    Quote Originally Posted by GreatBigCranberries View Post

    This isn't a verbal compliment, but I'll add it because someone could potentially take it as a compliment: I get irritated when people assume that I know everything. This has a habit of happening with most groups of people if I spend enough time with them. Someone brings up a question to which they don't know the answer, suddenly everyone looks at me like they're waiting for something. I'm not an encyclopedia. I don't know. Go look it up yourself.
    hahahh, im an sx so, so i tend to sometimes give the picture to others that i know everything. plus being an ni dom.
    its fun then when it happens to me that everyone looks to me for an answer to something, and ill just mess with them by saying something silly. =)

    i once mistook an istp 5w4 as an intuitor because of his 5w4'ness, so i went speaking all intuitive crazy stuff to him and he just replied "im a simple person." lols. =]
    healthiness is all about appreciating other peoples inferior function. its like the sore spot no one ever notices, but we desperately wish they did, and if you focus on doing that, youll have many friends. and also learn to appreciate your own inferior function, others wont find it stupid if you show them how cool it is.

    INTJ 4w3 Sp Sx. (i dont believe in tritype. i do believe in learning traits from others.)

    mistakes happen. expect them, and grow from them. look for them, and avoid them.

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