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  1. #1
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Default female enneagrams of those attracted to 5w4 males

    i haven't quite figured this out. the riso hudson compatibility types make sense. but i can't really see it from the point of view of females. what female enneagram types are most likely to be attracted to 5w4 males? we seem like one of the worst types as far as embracing what is generally considered to be attractive male behavior. i would say it probably looks better on intps, but then i think of my intp 5w4 friends and, chuckling, it sure doesn't. just more whatever-the-geek-equivalent-of-flamboyant-is geeky. militantly?

    the enneagram usually has strong correlations with the integration/distintegration points. i have instant chemistry with 7w6s, but it seems so unfathomably outside of what they are looking for in a relationship. i've probably attracted the most enduring interest from 9s and 6s.

    this is a major problem when you are trying to see yourself accurately and maintain a stable self-image.

  2. #2
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Watching all theses crowds of girls screaming and yelling hysterically when John Lennon arrived in a place, I'd say that 5w4 males are more likely to attract girls of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 types, lol.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  3. #3
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    4, 7, 8, 9.

    1-4 might see you as a project, 6-8 is mental interest and a "partner in crime" type feel, and 9, nobody knows what they want/like



  4. #4
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    My experience with INTP 5w4s is we clique quickly and have so much to say to one another because we share so many similar interests (when we're both generally quiet, reserved & very private types); but at the end of the day, they're too insensitive and I'm too sensitive. They gauge my sensitivity wrong because on the outside I'm not the warm, gooey woman that usually overwhelms and annoys them. I find them abrasive because their head is too far up their butt to see their not as "objective" as they'd like to believe, so their comments are very much personal even if not intended to be. They're also moody & fickle little buggers; far worse than I am.

    Short answer: I'm usually drawn to them, and it seems mutual, but I think it would take two really healthy versions of us to work in the long term.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #5
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    If you want a 7, you will probably have to wait for them to get a bit older and start looking for balance. They may be attracted to you, since 7s need to develop their five side and become more reflective.

    e6s and e9s are plentiful, so maybe use them as practice until then haha Who knows, you may realize they`re what you wanted all along once you start dating one. Even if you don`t usually have chemistry with a certain type, I think you can hit it off with any type, as long as you meet the right individual.

    I bet 2s could deal with an aloof male figure in their life, since a lot of times, their eagerness to be helpful was caused by their father`s seeming ambivalence to them. They aim to please.

  6. #6
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I've seen 2s and 4s, especially 4w3s, be really attracted to 5w4s.

  7. #7
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    4, 7, 8, 9.

    1-4 might see you as a project, 6-8 is mental interest and a "partner in crime" type feel, and 9, nobody knows what they want/like
    I don't see 5w4 types as projects. I am just very very attracted to the type. They're intriguing. What's there not to like? Intelligence... hidden passion and romanticism... creative... artistic... I've always been immediately attracted to these types. Sadly, I've yet to actually date one. More like, crush from afar.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  8. #8
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I've seen...4w3s, be really attracted to 5w4s.
    I think it`s the 5w4`s uncompromising nature. They don`t worry about other people`s perceptions.

  9. #9
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    They're also moody & fickle little buggers; far worse than I am.
    He who smelt it, dealt it.

    thinking of you

  10. #10
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I've seen 2s and 4s, especially 4w3s, be really attracted to 5w4s.
    yeah, i think that's multiple things tho. sfj female meet ntp (or maybe even 5w6 istp) male. for non-intp e5 males, i wonder if the e2 connection still makes sense. from my end, as an infj 5w4, it seems crazy, i think. maybe an intj 5w4 would work with an e2 enfj. i think i'd have better luck with 1w2s.

    the 4w3 comment is very interesting. it's a type i have a severely underdeveloped representation of in my mind. one male and one female. the female (isfp?) did try to initiate with me, tho, and if i had been less inept back then, it would have worked. hahaha, she was in a sorority and i was militantly anti-sorority, but she still intrigued me very much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    If you want a 7, you will probably have to wait for them to get a bit older and start looking for balance. They may be attracted to you, since 7s need to develop their five side and become more reflective.

    e6s and e9s are plentiful, so maybe use them as practice until then haha Who knows, you may realize they`re what you wanted all along once you start dating one. Even if you don`t usually have chemistry with a certain type, I think you can hit it off with any type, as long as you meet the right individual.

    I bet 2s could deal with an aloof male figure in their life, since a lot of times, their eagerness to be helpful was caused by their father`s seeming ambivalence to them. They aim to please.
    1 yeah, i can see this. it takes a lot of time, if i'm starting from the north pole and they're starting from the south pole, to intersect. the j/p thing tho, even more than the enneagram, seems significant, especially at a younger age. enfps usually have an easier time initially with istp 5w6s, i think, then inj 5s. the communication bandwidth is so immense, you've got to be ready to handle that, and be able to balance your voice with hearing the voice of the other person.
    2 the only two types i've dated are e6 and e9. i hope i wasn't waiting around for what i really wanted all along. it didn't feel like it. what i "really wanted all along" was less realistic than a calvin and hobbes fantastical story/adventure. and it's so centrally important to shed some of those poorly framed desires and build a better story for yourself, better self-knowledge, and better self-mastery so that you don't need ever so much. i think these relationships helped with that (for both of us), and i feel they were equal in that sense. i'm very grateful for them.
    3 i have moments of aloofness slip out, but i'm not an intp. ok, maybe i'm just as aloof, just as focused on my interests, etc, but my interests are people! and i care about personal values of others! and i want to explore them directly! and i like to harmonize my interactions with them! maybe this is still aloof, but is it at least friendlier? warmer? less cold and dismissive? more engaging?

    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    I think it`s the 5w4`s uncompromising nature. They don`t worry about other people`s perceptions.
    yeah, except from girls. the intp 5w4 sx/sps seem better at just playing the game (i hate that i'm thinking of ryan from the office). the sps don't seem to even care unless it's world of warcraft or a pagan festival and their magic mushrooms are kicking in so they have more niceness circulating within them. the one 5w4 sx/sp intj i know seems like he thinks he's a creepy sex god, but he's only 20. the 5w6 intps, istps, and intjs all seem to love to fuck with people but then have an amazing ability to not care about what those people think about them. i think it's partly the power of counterphobia.

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