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  1. #31
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    Female INTP 5w4 sp/so reporting for duty to agree with everything Jen said and wonder aloud which male enneagrams or types would feel attracted to this "elusive game" as Affably Evil called us. What´s the attraction?
    "Social game" guys, for sure (3 and 8, for starters... Probably 7's as well.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #32
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    "Social game" guys, for sure (3 and 8, for starters... Probably 7's as well.)
    *You sure know how to inspire hope and optimism* So not only have I felt like an alien and a freak all my life, now I´m a catch-the-weirdo price to win, take to the taxidermist and hang over the mantlepiece?
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  3. #33
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    I have seen 9s and 8s often go head over heals for these romantic professor types.

    On the flip side (what types are best at seducing 5w4s) I have seen 7s completely seduce these ones by pulling them out of their heads into real world adventures and allowing a new feeling of being alive.
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  4. #34
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    :3 I was sold when Indy described them. At least the type 5s..
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  5. #35
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Probably 7's as well
    yeppers

  6. #36
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    I have seen 9s and 8s often go head over heals for these romantic professor types.

    On the flip side (what types are best at seducing 5w4s) I have seen 7s completely seduce these ones by pulling them out of their heads into real world adventures and allowing a new feeling of being alive.
    yeah, pretty much. it just really helps with the personal well-being, with the ability to enjoy life and not just always feel like you are working on your one giant project, and its finding ways of making work, everyday life tasks, social rituals that could go either way, fun and more like a game. i've learned a lot about enneagram compatibilities and see multiple solutions nowadays, but, at the same time, while growing up 7w6 was a definite kind of idealized female archetype for me.

    i'd guess a lot of awkward, highly introverted males who felt misunderstood had a few brushes with this type where, momentarily, they felt recognized, teased in a way that made them want to engage rather than further disengage, etc. which was shockingly refreshing after all that detaching and withdrawing and disconnecting.

    with that said, the awesome emotional honesty of 4s, the loving acceptance and desire for exploration of 9s, the loyalty and protectiveness of 6s have all made a significant mark on me as well. it's difficult to see them all both in short and long term. the e7 is the most immediately fireworky, but it's also by far the most personally threatening. i do feel compelled to learn more about it, because it does generate sparks and even more so because it exerts such a strong gravitational force on me when our orbits near each other and i always feel my trajectory changing substantially as a result. it's difficult to see it all in context without going through more of it experientially. and so much of it has to do with what you are for someone else, how the relationship brings out a certain version of you, and what you can do to learn how to maximize and appreciate that.

  7. #37
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    *You sure know how to inspire hope and optimism* So not only have I felt like an alien and a freak all my life, now I´m a catch-the-weirdo price to win, take to the taxidermist and hang over the mantlepiece?
    I didn't say you were, sweetie. I just said those three types of guys for some fubar reason THINK you should be.

    (But you don't have to go willingly. If at all!)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #38
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Meh. I find that I need to put some of myself out there (and want to), just to make sure that the guys who target me know what they're getting themselves into. I want to be understood, not entirely elusive, and once someone understands me, DESIRE me for being who I am.

    Romance isn't a game overall, in general it's a negotiation and a dance. This sense of remaining elusive on purpose seems so counterproductive to me and unnecessarily frustrating.

    (Then again, maybe this is why I suck at this stuff. )
    i'm the last person in the world to see romance as a game. or anything like it. instead, i unfortunately take it way too SERIOUSLY. although, at the same time, i don't quite see what your distinction between a game and a negotiation or a dance is meant to do. a game to you means that there is a winner and a loser, and by nature competitive and not cooperative?

    also, i don't identify at all with how you've read what i said. i don't remain elusive on purpose. most of the 5w4s i see mark themselves as being different in some way. it's part of their identity. they're searching for something that doesn't quite exist yet within the fields they are most invested in. they long to be different, they feel fundamentally different, they want to be recognized as fundamentally different, and the sx types have a natural propensity to invest in validation from one over validation from the many. there's a lot riding on that, especially a type that so easily feels fundamentally cut off from others, so separated, so isolated. you don't want, more than fucking anything, for someone to just fetishize you into a representation of you that is not you or perhaps even worse, an interaction process that obviously is disconnected from you and your world. you want, on the contrary, someone who sees your world and cares about your world, how it is different than the shared world and why it is different, what is at stake for you, what your vision is and how you see yourself within that (at this point, helping you). like the delightfully saccharine velvet underground ballad i'll be your mirror (reflect what you are, in case you don't know!).

    anyway, we are careful who we share our worlds with like infp 4s are careful who they share their deepest fi truths with. because, with this stuff, being misunderstood hurts like hell. and what's wrong with that? this is not just trivial immaturity. it is an absolutely necessary part of the 5w4 dance, especially for sx types who have so much surplus of self they don't know what to do with it or how to possibly begin to manage it.

  9. #39
    Member Affably Evil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    also, i don't identify at all with how you've read what i said. i don't remain elusive on purpose. most of the 5w4s i see mark themselves as being different in some way. it's part of their identity. they're searching for something that doesn't quite exist yet within the fields they are most invested in. they long to be different, they feel fundamentally different, they want to be recognized as fundamentally different, and the sx types have a natural propensity to invest in validation from one over validation from the many. there's a lot riding on that, especially a type that so easily feels fundamentally cut off from others, so separated, so isolated. you don't want, more than fucking anything, for someone to just fetishize you into a representation of you that is not you or perhaps even worse, an interaction process that obviously is disconnected from you and your world. you want, on the contrary, someone who sees your world and cares about your world, how it is different than the shared world and why it is different, what is at stake for you, what your vision is and how you see yourself within that (at this point, helping you). like the delightfully saccharine velvet underground ballad i'll be your mirror (reflect what you are, in case you don't know!).
    I definitely agree with everything you've written here.

    And by "elusive," what I meant was that female 5s were listed as the most rare enneagram type for females in some thread or other. Though there is something to be said for a 5's engagement and disengagement making one perhaps more difficult to get to know intimately, unless you get that sx lock-on mode.
    5w4 sx/sp

  10. #40
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    I'm 4w3 and I am attracted to this type, and do not see them as a "project" as Jock suggested - I might go as far as to say it's the opposite, I admire them - but more like what IndyAnnaJoan said. Attractive, intelligent, intriguing, that sort of thing.

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