I've probably had this issue with INTP 5s (anecdote?
). I think it's the emotional sensitivity of being a 4. All of a sudden, my identity feels threatened, and my wittle INFP feelings get hurt. There is a tendency to take things personal because I see my ideas/feelings as ME. We're both into a somewhat intense discussion, & then they cross a value boundary, and my wall goes up. I would also ask for clarification of their ideas, but they would not ask me, and I felt they assumed something that was not part of my case at all. Their supposed detachment was condescending, & they definitely would seem belligerent. The fun stops there.
On the other hand, I felt closer to these people than ones who just placate me and pat me on my head and say, "That's cute". Disdain will grow for those people, who I'll start to see as shallow.