I am most likely have sp/sx tendencies.
My question to first or second, sx's is do you like to be in control of the intensity thrust your way, or who you find intensity within?
I actually feel ashamed at how many opportunities I have to "become closer" to people, but I only pursue it when I really really really like them. If I don't, I kind of ignore their attention (in the unconscious attempt to dampen the unwanted attention). This might be partly a four issue, but I only desire to become close to people I really like. I don't like to admit I have high standards, but I do. And I only open myself to a person who I really trust first of all, and really truly like and respect as a person. A number of other things like energy and intensity come into play (obviously a sx thing).
But ultimately I will not pursue for the sake of intensity, I will not reciprocate or even really get involved (I will remain distant) if I don't like the source of intensity. I will subtly shut them down or remain kind of detached (I feel horrible that I am like this even with friends). The source of intensity is always key. And I have to control the flow of intensity. I don't like it being directed at me when I can't channel it back because I don't like them.
If I like a person in this way, it will be me who makes the first moves, and me who does the "pursuing". If I don't pursue, generally I don't like them enough to want to open up. Even though it would be my dream to be kind of out of control and to be pursued (I would still give subtle encouragments, "come hithers" and greenlights). But I tend to not work like that, because the people I like are generally the ones who need a little pushing (I also need pushing, but my desire to get to know them breaks through that).
I've only gone through this experience of liking a person enough to pursue them once (there was another person, but I withdrew too early).
I will be friendly and cordial to just about everyone. But when I come across someone I actually like, I take down my boundaries between them and me. I never realised the boundaries were up, but now I see that they are there. And someones gotta be pretty damn special for me to meet them half way.
I'm on my way to working through this tendency, just wanted to see if anyone could relate. I can see that it's fairly sp/sx (and a touch of avoidant personality).
Additionally, I can only give this depth of openness to (from my experience) one person at a time.