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  1. #1
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Default As an INFJ, what's my Enneagram?

    • I've always feared I might bore people.

    • Rescuing is a constant theme in my daydreams.

    • I'm very diplomatic and try to avoid conflict by compromising, but never to a fault. I will confront others if I feel that in the end it's beneficial to me and the other party. I actually excel in confrontation, I just don't enjoy it.

    • I have never related to the description of the 4's dramatic expression style. I'm reserved and private about emotions. I rarely vent, because I feel words are insufficient to express my depth of feeling. When I do express myself though, I am comfortable with it, I just dont feel that it will accomplish much because no one can comfort or make me feel better about a situation when they cannot relate (I'm such an alien). However, confiding in my INTJ mother was the exception, because she felt the same way I did about life in general, so I found comfort in her. Because I can't find comfort in someone anymore, I find it in by wallowing in the negative.

    • I used to think I was an Enneagram 9 largely because I thought I numbed out feelings, when in reality I simply didn't allow them to come to the surface. To an outsider I will look numb, because I'm retreating within myself. But under the surface, there's a storm. Generally, I talk myself out of it (give myself perspective by looking at the positive in life, for instance) which really helps. But when I'm under lots of pressure, I find this tactic difficult to follow through on. So I relish negative emotions, delving into dark disturbing thoughts, usually ending in martyrdom. This "emotional cutting," only gratifies in the moment and in the end I'm only making myself spiral into depression, leaving myself with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach for being morbid. I have since decided to just be happy lol and that's really helped.

    • One of my most defining characteristics is my forgetfulness.

    • 4's struggle with envy, but this never registered with me in the traditional sense, because I don't envy peoples friends, their possessions or who they are... I don't want their friends, their possessions and I don't want to be them. However, I envy their state of being. I envy the fact that because they are the norm they can lead a normal life. If the world were modelled for people like me - if I were the majority, life would be simple. I want the world to cater to my way of thinking, rather than change to suit the world - the latter, actually being in the realm of possibility. But I'm stubbornly me So I suppose I envy the majority for being the majority.

    • I don't understand a 4's obsession with being unique. I am however, obsessed with being authentic. I believe this obsession stems from being very different in the first place and having to fight for acceptance and stand by my convictions. Every day I feel pressured to be something I'm not... instead of conforming, I hold back a part of myself, to avoid this pressuring in the first place.

    • I don't feel insecure as many INFJ's do. I love myself. That could have something to do with my faith though; If God, a superior being, can love me, I must be lovable.

    • I have a very critical mind, but I rarely express these criticisms.

    • When I'm with friends, the focus of the conversation is them. When I'm alone, I'm very self absorbed.

    • I'm obsessed with ethics. I get stressed out when I'm faced with immoral behavior.

    • Another sore spot for me is judgmental people. When people judge someone for unique behavior, opinions, or characteristics, I lose respect for them immediately. I find this form of judgement to be ignorant and hypocritical; everyone is an individual. However, judging someone for immoral behavior is admirable.

    • People see me as withdrawing, depressive, mature, diplomatic, self punishing, idealistic, perfectionistic, calm, ethical, serious, consistent, spiritual, wise, accepting, abstaining, peacemaking, stable - to mention a few.

    • I relate to Enneagram's 9, 5, 4 and 1.


    INFJ's, if you relate to any of this, what's your Enneagram? Or what Enneagram do you think I fall under, what wing? Feel free to question me, I just rambled off what came to mind.

    Please don't provide Enneagram tests... I really don't trust them.
    Last edited by lane777; 09-06-2010 at 10:30 PM.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  2. #2
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    I'm thinking because you are "self-punishing" and idealistic/perfectionistic, this sounds very type 1 like in nature. I think you have a 2 wing, because you describe yourself as diplomatic and peacemaking too. 1's are proponents for morality. Sp variant, because you stated you have withdrawn traits.

    I went through the type 1 and type 4 juggle, I kind of still do, but I feel a closer connection to the emotional sensitivity of the type 4.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




  3. #3
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    9w1. the 1 wing kicks in at about the age of 20. it adds a hypercritical dimension and especially a focus on standards (moralizing) that become crucially important and at times a source of unhappiness and disappointment. a kind of rigidity and demanding quality that rejects rather than accepts bc without standards, what have we got???? etc.

  4. #4
    Senior Member DJAchtundvierzig's Avatar
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    Just because your an infj doesn't mean you're restricted to an Enneagram type. I'm a 9w1, and I think you may be too.

  5. #5
    Senior Member rowingineden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    9w1. the 1 wing kicks in at about the age of 20. it adds a hypercritical dimension and especially a focus on standards (moralizing) that become crucially important and at times a source of unhappiness and disappointment. a kind of rigidity and demanding quality that rejects rather than accepts bc without standards, what have we got???? etc.
    What if you were very 1ish growing up and are becoming more easygoing about all the same things you used to be very hypercritical about as you near age 20?
    "You get what you're given, it's all how you use it."
    Pink - "God is a DJ"

  6. #6
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rowingineden View Post
    What if you were very 1ish growing up and are becoming more easygoing about all the same things you used to be very hypercritical about as you near age 20?
    i'd guess e4. the stress point of e4 is e1. the write-up basically says the direction for e4 growth is towards equanimity. you start to give others the benefit of the doubt and your sense of what is right expands. you can identify with others in a more complex way, bc you've struggled with the people comparisons and the good/evil questions for so long. you know how to handle individual differences and imagine what the subjective reality of someone else is in a more open-ended way.

  7. #7
    Senior Member rowingineden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i'd guess e4. the stress point of e4 is e1. the write-up basically says the direction for e4 growth is towards equanimity. you start to give others the benefit of the doubt and your sense of what is right expands. you can identify with others in a more complex way, bc you've struggled with the people comparisons and the good/evil questions for so long. you know how to handle individual differences and imagine what the subjective reality of someone else is in a more open-ended way.
    Yeah, I guessed I was 4w5 for my heart fix.
    "You get what you're given, it's all how you use it."
    Pink - "God is a DJ"

  8. #8
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousFeeling View Post
    I'm thinking because you are "self-punishing" and idealistic/perfectionistic, this sounds very type 1 like in nature. I think you have a 2 wing, because you describe yourself as diplomatic and peacemaking too. 1's are proponents for morality. Sp variant, because you stated you have withdrawn traits.

    I went through the type 1 and type 4 juggle, I kind of still do, but I feel a closer connection to the emotional sensitivity of the type 4.
    This is a good example of how complicated this can all get The diplomatic and peacemaking qualities of 2's are also shared by 9's. And a fixation on morality could also be seen in a 9w1... or perhaps I exhibit those traits too strongly for a 1 wing?

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    9w1. the 1 wing kicks in at about the age of 20.
    This seems to apply.

    Quote Originally Posted by DJAchtundvierzig View Post
    Just because your an infj doesn't mean you're restricted to an Enneagram type. I'm a 9w1, and I think you may be too.
    I originally settled on 9w1 for a couple reason. I looked like an INFP as a teen, even according to my mom and best friend and since 9's usually correlate to INFP, it became my default choice when I couldn't decide (I needed the closure ). The second reason being, 9's possess some qualities of all the types. So because I can relate to many different Enneagram's, 9 seemed like the logical choice.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  9. #9
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    As much as I despise tests, I did the free one at enneagraminstitute.com because I couldn't decide between type 9 and 4.

    type 1 score 5
    type 2 score 3
    type 3 score 3
    type 4 score 8
    type 5 score 4
    type 6 score 5
    type 7 score 2
    type 8 score 1
    type 9 score 5

    Assuming 4 is my dominant type, what could my wing be?
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  10. #10
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    As much as I despise tests, I did the free one at enneagraminstitute.com because I couldn't decide between type 9 and 4.

    type 1 score 5
    type 2 score 3
    type 3 score 3
    type 4 score 8
    type 5 score 4
    type 6 score 5
    type 7 score 2
    type 8 score 1
    type 9 score 5

    Assuming 4 is my dominant type, what could my wing be?
    Considering type 5 has a higher score than 3 in your list, then you'd have a 5 wing.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




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