- I've always feared I might bore people.
- Rescuing is a constant theme in my daydreams.
- I'm very diplomatic and try to avoid conflict by compromising, but never to a fault. I will confront others if I feel that in the end it's beneficial to me and the other party. I actually excel in confrontation, I just don't enjoy it.
- I have never related to the description of the 4's dramatic expression style. I'm reserved and private about emotions. I rarely vent, because I feel words are insufficient to express my depth of feeling. When I do express myself though, I am comfortable with it, I just dont feel that it will accomplish much because no one can comfort or make me feel better about a situation when they cannot relate (I'm such an alien). However, confiding in my INTJ mother was the exception, because she felt the same way I did about life in general, so I found comfort in her. Because I can't find comfort in someone anymore, I find it in by wallowing in the negative.
- I used to think I was an Enneagram 9 largely because I thought I numbed out feelings, when in reality I simply didn't allow them to come to the surface. To an outsider I will look numb, because I'm retreating within myself. But under the surface, there's a storm. Generally, I talk myself out of it (give myself perspective by looking at the positive in life, for instance) which really helps. But when I'm under lots of pressure, I find this tactic difficult to follow through on. So I relish negative emotions, delving into dark disturbing thoughts, usually ending in martyrdom. This "emotional cutting," only gratifies in the moment and in the end I'm only making myself spiral into depression, leaving myself with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach for being morbid. I have since decided to just be happy lol and that's really helped.
- One of my most defining characteristics is my forgetfulness.
- 4's struggle with envy, but this never registered with me in the traditional sense, because I don't envy peoples friends, their possessions or who they are... I don't want their friends, their possessions and I don't want to be them. However, I envy their state of being. I envy the fact that because they are the norm they can lead a normal life. If the world were modelled for people like me - if I were the majority, life would be simple. I want the world to cater to my way of thinking, rather than change to suit the world - the latter, actually being in the realm of possibility. But I'm stubbornly me So I suppose I envy the majority for being the majority.
- I don't understand a 4's obsession with being unique. I am however, obsessed with being authentic. I believe this obsession stems from being very different in the first place and having to fight for acceptance and stand by my convictions. Every day I feel pressured to be something I'm not... instead of conforming, I hold back a part of myself, to avoid this pressuring in the first place.
- I don't feel insecure as many INFJ's do. I love myself. That could have something to do with my faith though; If God, a superior being, can love me, I must be lovable.
- I have a very critical mind, but I rarely express these criticisms.
- When I'm with friends, the focus of the conversation is them. When I'm alone, I'm very self absorbed.
- I'm obsessed with ethics. I get stressed out when I'm faced with immoral behavior.
- Another sore spot for me is judgmental people. When people judge someone for unique behavior, opinions, or characteristics, I lose respect for them immediately. I find this form of judgement to be ignorant and hypocritical; everyone is an individual. However, judging someone for immoral behavior is admirable.
- People see me as withdrawing, depressive, mature, diplomatic, self punishing, idealistic, perfectionistic, calm, ethical, serious, consistent, spiritual, wise, accepting, abstaining, peacemaking, stable - to mention a few.
- I relate to Enneagram's 9, 5, 4 and 1.
INFJ's, if you relate to any of this, what's your Enneagram? Or what Enneagram do you think I fall under, what wing? Feel free to question me, I just rambled off what came to mind.
Please don't provide Enneagram tests... I really don't trust them.