After distrusting the Enneagram for so long, I looked into it again today, and now I'm pretty sure that I'm a 1 based on a test I took today that looks better than others I've taken in the past. Here is the result:
As expected, 3 was up there as well, since I do relate to that one a lot. The main qualm I have with this result though, is that it says that I'm the sexual variant, when after reading the descriptions of the variants, I was almost positive I'd be the self-preservation. That one is still associated with the 3 though, so either the sp-variant or the 3 or both even still look possible.
People of the self-preservation variant are generally trying to be comfortable and independent.This concerns the sp-variant, and it's very accurate for me.and are typically less spontaneous and don't show as much emotion as people of the other two subtypes of their enneagram type.
This, on the other hand, concerns the sexual variant, and is less accurate. At least when compared to what seems average and those around me, I do care more about rules than others. I mean, for certain things, like when the limit is 70 on the highway, I'll do 80; it's what everyone around me is doing and it's not putting anyone in danger. And I've drank before and I'm under 21, but my body is still fully developed and I still have control over myself, and I know not to drive. Plus I rarely drink anyway; only when the opportunity is just right, really, not getting completely wasted several times a week like most drinkers I know. For things like that, I'll bend the rules, but honestly, who doesn't?care less about rules and responsibility.
Then there's this. This is under the sexual variant again. I don't know if this is referring to a romantic relationship specifically or just close friends, but either way, I'm so used to being isolated from others in that way that I don't really even bother to do much about it. I've met people who will get in a relationship with someone who may not be completely right for them, and has perhaps even caused them a lot of trouble or pain in the past, but they will get back with them anyway because they can't stand being alone. Though I'm pretty damn sick of being alone, I just don't have it in me to develop a relationship with someone I couldn't trust or have another good reason for not being with, just for the sake of avoiding being alone. That's the case with every woman I've ever had interest in, and in terms of my closer male friends, I can really only be so close to them, seeing how a mancrush is really not acceptable these days with all the prejudice against homosexuality and whatnot. Oh well, I still have my mancrushes, and I had longed to be closer with them.Being in a relationship is very important to them.
Also, it's worth noting that this is from the second time I took the test today; I took it once before earlier, but I accidentally closed the window and lost the results. The result here is pretty much identical to the first one, which is what I was aiming for, except it said I had balanced wings as opposed to the 9 that's indicated up there, which seems a lot more accurate, seeing as both my 9 and 2 are crap either way.
I don't know. I just feel like ranting right now, lol. Any discussion or insight is appreciated.