This has been of interest to me lately and on my mind.
I am looking for some insight into what you think the major pulls / obstacles and misreads would be between the following variant types:
so/sp with sx/sp
so/sp with sx/so
so/sp with sp/sx
I won't do more than the three in this thread for ease of replying.
You see, I am so/sp and I feel the tug-of-war between working with the group and preserving my own "space" ... and frequently, when someone wants to get close to me fast I become very wary of their motivations. With sx last in my stacking order, I find I feel the desire for connection, but find myself thinking other people are being socially inappropriate when they move fast, and then I feel my defenses go up to protect myself from either being hurt or embarrassed.
In relationships I seldom share info about myself first unless I feel very safe because I don't think anyone is interested if they don't ask or take the time to get to me on at least a cursory level. And I don't want to come across as unduly self-absorbed. It's polite to get to know the other person first, so I generally try to follow that "rule".
I want depth, but I fear it, because I think someone will "take" something from me and then never maintain that friendship over time. This has been a pattern IRL; I make friends with relative ease, but I can feel some want my energy and when I am "figured out" (so to speak) they move on. Not everyone, but enough for me to notice a trend.
Example: I am a vocalist. People find that very interesting, and when I get to know someone they invariably want to see me perform etc. I feel like they get their high off of me, and then when they get what they wanted they move on. I wanted to be friends. I thought they liked me. But, they wanted to explore me and taste a bit and move on. But I wanted more! I find that ironic somehow, when the sx is supposed to be all about "depth".
Tell me your thoughts; help me understand this so I might improve my understanding of relationship needs and not be so judging of the people who "come and go".
Those kind of relationships have made me feel that when people get to know me, they simply don't like what they have found once they get into my "inner world". So they move on, and I am wondering why I am not "interesting" or liked anymore. That's probably just inappropriate personalization, but I am being candid here and revealing my insecurities.
Plus, what does the so/sx and so/sp relationship look like? One gets close and feels moments are right to get way closer - but the sp pulls back at the moment where things could proceed.
Share with me people - I want to understand more.