Some points regarding your response:
-The fact that you say there is so much to digest in this thread speaks to the intensity of the sx's in this thread. We have a lot to say and when given the opportunity, we usually express things openly and in-depth.
-You mentioned that we like to delve into other people's "stuff" - as if it's a one way street. I like the intensity to be mutual. Some sx's may not, but I like when someone asks me the same kind of questions. In fact, if it was just me asking and talking, it would get old. It's not a 1-way street - us getting all we can from you and then leaving. We want it reciprocated. Then there's the feeling that we're both enjoying it to the same degree.
-You talked about the potential overlap between the sx desire for intensity and closeness with basic human intimacy needs. I agree with this, but I would venture to say that the sx desire is MUCH more intense than the average person - sometimes even to the point to where we avoid the small talk altogether. We don't want anything to do with it at times. Jennifer seems to be past that point in her maturation (she welcomes the small talk), and I'm "working on it". I used to attend a social group where we talked about the really good stuff - that was the focus of the group. But, after the "formal" part of the group was over, the conversation became more about "surface stuff" - and then I just wanted to leave. I ONLY wanted the good stuff. I wanted nothing to do with the rest of it. There can be a sort of fixation on only wanting the deep conversations. I've learned to consciously say to myself, "Wait a minute! Stay here and talk to these people. Be social! It's good for you, it's valuable to your social skills and to your network - you can't just be a hermit who comes out to play when it's "deep stuff". Even if you don't have a lot of fun, stick it out for an hour and talk to these people." Sometimes I end up enjoying it a little bit, other times not so much. The sx's natural inclination, however, is that if we are a magnet, the deep stuff is metal. We crave it.
-In regards to this:
To a large degree, this is where the difference lays between "so" and "sx". I relate *a little bit* to the description (my inferior Fe wants to keep things "smooth" in my own social circle), but as an overall description, it doesn't fit with me. I don't know if all sx's are this way, but I know INTP's tend to be iconoclasts. We usually go "against the grain". I know an INTP who people say about him "if you invite him to an event, he won't show up. If you don't invite him, he sometimes will show up." I, for one, do not like to be put into a "box". If someone puts expectations on me that I think are not warranted (or that I'm not ready for), then I might subconciously break out of that mold and do something else. I can be warm, open, and engaging, but that usually happens when I'm 1-on-1 with someone (an "sx" type situation). In a large group or party, I'm more detached and obervant. In big groups, I'm more "sp". 1-on-1, I'm "sx". But, for the most part, you won't see me fit the above "so" description.Social types adapt themselves to serve the needs of the social situation they find themselves in. Thus, Social types are highly aware of other people, whether they are in intimate situations or in groups. They are also aware of how their actions and attitudes are affecting those around them. Moreover, Sexual types seek intimacy, Social types seek personal connection: they want to stay in long-term contact with people and to be involved in their world. Social types are the most concerned with doing things that will have some impact on their community, or even broader domains. They tend to be warmer, more open, engaging, and socially responsible than the other two types.
-Lastly, you say that the "intensity" is part of the honeymoon phase and it can't last forever. This is partly true. With 2 sx's, there is a desire to continue to grow and discover things in a deep way. But, you are right that once you tap into what they are all about, there becomes less and less to talk about. And that, I'm afraid, is the reason why a lot of sx's are single. Not all of them are - I don't want to make huge generalizations here - but, I think a big chunk of sx's are single. I've really struggled with "so" friends and girlfriends. The description I quoted above - I couldn't satisfy that need for them to have me (the person they cared about) be a big part of their social circle. I didn't want to hang out with their social circle. I'm not a social butterfly like that. I'd rather do something together - just the 2 of us. But, I do need my alone time, so I always encourage them to go be with their friends as much as possible (I NEVER hold them back, I push them out so that they can "stay happy" doing what they enjoy most), and they know that I'll be there for them at the end of the day. Don't read this to mean that I'm not interested in what they do or that I'm not fully committed. I most certainly am - I would even say that I'm committed and interested in a "very intense way". Perhaps more than most people would be. I just don't always want to be a part of that social circle. I'm friendly, I'm cordial, and I want to please, but I can't keep up some facade and pretend that I want to be at every event that you and your friends take part in. It's just not me. And that's where we had problems - that was hard for them to accept. They thought that if I truly loved them that I would go with them to all these events. To me, they were trying to change who I am. Why do I have to "prove" my love by being someone I'm not? Why can't you go to YOUR social events and still know that I love you just the same? Needless to say, it's a difficult situation!