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  1. #101
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    A trend that marks these people who have "taken something from you" as SX, apparently. Hence this thread requesting that SXs justify their "socially inappropriate" behaviour.
    No, no that's not it. I didn't even consider what SX was before last week, never gave the variants a whiff of contemplation of how they would fragrance my relationships in the world.

    I am still trying to understand what SX looks like IRL. So I am throwing out provocative examples to see what sticks and what doesn't.

    I have never labelled anyone's behaviour as an attribute of SX. I haven't yet even as I write this.

    I don't know enough about it to draw any firm conclusions so far.

    And when I understand the variants better, I will adjust my own responses to compensate, both for the needs of the people in my life and my own. That is my way. More tools in my toolbox of understanding.

    Who do you think is jumping to judgments/conclusions, really...?
    I still feel you are, because you are interpreting everything I say through this lens, this lens that assumes I am or have already been going around judging all this negative behaviour as SX behaviour.

    Again, I'm not offended in the least by anything you've said. Even the unsolicited advice. That doesn't mean I have to agree with it. We are coming at this with very different sets of values and assumptions and perhaps we'll never be able to understand the other's perspective, but we should aim to respect it, at least.
    I am glad you are not offended and I do respect your viewpoint, and I would hope if nothing else is clear, that is.

    I wasn't trying to make any accusations here against SX.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #102
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    In really intense connections, it's sometimes as if the other person and I are the only ones who exist at that moment. Nothing that's going on around us even gets noticed or paid attention to.
    I really miss that.
    Once you've experienced it once, nothing is ever the same. Nothing else can compare to it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #103
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Too, if there are any NF, SP or SJ types out there with SX as the dominant variant, please read my first post and tell me how you relate to it ... tell me what kind of information you are looking to share when you say you want depth, that special intimacy.

    I have received a great deal of NT feedback, which I appreciate, but this thread is skewed now away from a balance of multiple perspectives.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #104
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Too, if there are any NF, SP or SJ types out there with SX as the dominant variant, please read my first post and tell me how you relate to it ... tell me what kind of information you are looking to share when you say you want depth, that special intimacy.

    I have received a great deal of NT feedback, which I appreciate, but this thread is skewed now away from a balance of multiple perspectives.
    I tried, but many of the NTs have already said much of what I could say while my actual posts expand on those views to flesh out what mine is.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #105
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    ^ kitteh, are you interested more in intellectual topics of depth or depths of emotional experience?

    What level of personal interaction are you looking for? Or does the whole emotions aspect kind of seem ... like too much information?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #106
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    ^ kitteh, are you interested more in intellectual topics of depth or depths of emotional experience?
    Select groupings from both. I'm an F and a 4 to the core, and when I'm invested in a person enough the emotional becomes important - their well being, my well being. There are certain levels to it, an SO always gets, and is expected from them, the highest level of emotional intimacy (though what I expect varies). I'm also of higher than average intelligence which along with w5 I have to use my head sometimes or I feel sluggishly atrophied and can even lead to depression.

    What level of personal interaction are you looking for? Or does the whole emotions aspect kind of seem ... like too much information?
    I require smaller groups to one on one interaction. The emotions aspect can depend on my mood swings, especially since I'm so used to others not caring about mine. This is part of why I stratify my relationships by how much investment is mutually beneficial. It's only too much information when I can't expect similar tolerence from the other side.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #107
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    Here’s an example of what I’d consider personal: there’s another member here I haven’t interacted with very much who doesn’t make it available to leave messages on their public wall. I think this person is kinda interesting and I’m curious why- something tells me it’s a reason I can relate to. Asking this person through a pm (though we haven’t interacted much) is what I’d consider getting personal. On the other hand: starting a thread and delving into the theoretical reasons why people don’t make it available to post on their wall is what I’d consider wanting ‘deeper’ conversation that isn’t necessarily personal.

    So where does sx fall in there?
    I don't see much difference between the two. (And I'd classify both as personal rather than deep). I'd ask if I was curious. I don't care if someone thinks I'm being "too" personal. They can always ignore me or tell me to MMOFB. I won't take offense.
    There are so many associations with the word ‘deep’ it’s hard to work around. The way I’m personally using it in this thread, I think, is to describe some inclination to delve farther into something than most people (focusing in on a certain behavior, feeling curiosity about the motivation). But yeah, normally I wouldn’t begin to consider starting a thread- asking people why they don’t like getting public messages- as something ‘deep’ in itself.

    Also: I didn’t mean to imply I’d start the thread as some passive-aggressive attempt to get that particular person’s answer (it *seems* like that’s how it was read?). It would feel slimy to start a thread if circumstances were such that it might be clear to someone it was about them, or even if it were fueled by curiosity of one person in particular. I was referring to the act of redirecting my curiosity from the single person to ‘people in general’; it seems less personal, but just as ‘deep’ (equally intended to delve/explore feelings). But then I guess those ‘people in general’ who answered might be giving personal answers, so I don’t know.

    Maybe the tendency to shift the curiosity about one person to ‘people in general’ is an sp trait, though. It’s something that happens when I’m not comfortable with keeping the intensity of the focus on the one person. The need to test the water by dipping my toes in it first is really strong for me; people are so diverse, and they come with so many of their own ‘rules’ about how to get along with others, I am wholly distracted by trying to gleam someone’s ‘rules’ before trying to delve into their feelings one-on-one. I mean, we all have our own rules and expectations to a certain extent- I’d just prefer to deal with people whose rules and expectation most closely match my own; because I usually mirror someone’s rules (while dealing with them) and it’s exhausting to mirror rules that aren’t in line with my natural inclination. I’d rather not deal with the conflict that can ensue when someone gets offended because of ‘rules’ I didn’t anticipate; I’m getting the impression this conflict doesn’t bother sx doms as much.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  8. #108
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    Also: I didn’t mean to imply I’d start the thread as some passive-aggressive attempt to get that particular person’s answer (it *seems* like that’s how it was read?). It would feel slimy to start a thread if circumstances were such that it might be clear to someone it was about them, or even if it were fueled by curiosity of one person in particular.
    And I didn't mean to accuse you of that.
    I was responding to Jennifer's comment, and I was thinking about the "Tell a member..." thread. I think posting in that thread because you are afraid to confront the person in question directly is pretty weak. I can think of a few other examples too. Always makes me roll my eyes.
    Maybe the tendency to shift the curiosity about one person to ‘people in general’ is an sp trait, though. It’s something that happens when I’m not comfortable with keeping the intensity of the focus on the one person. The need to test the water by dipping my toes in it first is really strong for me; people are so diverse, and they come with so many of their own ‘rules’ about how to get along with others, I am wholly distracted by trying to gleam someone’s ‘rules’ before trying to delve into their feelings one-on-one. I mean, we all have our own rules and expectations to a certain extent- I’d just prefer to deal with people whose rules and expectation most closely match my own; because I usually mirror someone’s rules (while dealing with them) and it’s exhausting to mirror rules that aren’t in line with my natural inclination. I’d rather not deal with the conflict that can ensue when someone gets offended because of ‘rules’ I didn’t anticipate; I’m getting the impression this conflict doesn’t bother sx doms as much.
    I think this is prolly more about T vs F rather than SX...
    I'm not one to shy away from conflict, but then I rather enjoy it. It has it's own "intensity".
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #109
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Morgan... there are things you say that oft bring about a feeling most intense, but is neither anger nor disgust as far as I can tell. Sometimes I feel the need for a cold shower though...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #110
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Morgan... there are things you say that oft bring about a feeling most intense, but is neither anger nor disgust as far as I can tell. Sometimes I feel the need for a cold shower though...
    Morgan seems to have a sharp INTP edge to her. And by no means is that an insult. There's just not much fluffiness.

    Are you a really strong T on the T/F dichotomy, Morgan?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

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