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  1. #21
    Senior Member
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    What confuses you in particular?

  2. #22
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
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    Me, typically:

    9.1. Hate unnecessary drama.
    Absolutely....I hate drama & have very little in my life. While I have been called temperamental, I've never been called dramatic. I'm pretty reserved with my feeling & it tends to seep out in subtle crankiness, not theatrics. I don't become involved in conflict much either, as I avoid it.

    9.2. Seek to be of service to others wherever possible, enjoy looking after those close to them, making them smile.
    Nope - I'm not service-oriented or a people-pleaser. I'm pretty autonomous & get lost in my own world of ideas & analyzing feeling-thoughts. I think about people, I just don't act on it as much as I should. I'm not nurturing in that way, but I can be emotionally "healing" if necessary. I can seem pretty detached & almost unemotional in that way....at least that's what my family has said (which contradicts them calling me temperamental - hmmm).

    9.3. Resort to happy fantasy until problems 'blow over' rather than dwelling.
    I do both...I use escapism to block out dwelling, but the dwelling tries to fight its way back in & I usually just deal with it.... I honestly think that dwelling is better for me. It motivates me to find a solution, whereas fantasy just means I'm just burying my head in the sand. It is rather painful to be this way, but it also makes you quite resilient when you take problems by the head instead of hiding from them.

    9.4. Usually seek to people please, not always jump to defend their thoughts/values/feelings when they feel it might cause friction.
    Nope - not a people-pleaser. I'm comfortable being the voice of dissent, but I also choose my battles. I don't always go on defense & I'm not ungracious usually, but I'm more likely to stay true to my feelings than compromise them for peace. It's a matter of keeping internal integrity.

    9.5. Like being 'normal.'
    In some ways, sure. I think I like to be "normal" where it counts - where normal basically means well-adjusted and functioning in society. Ultimately, I prefer to be unique over typical, like most 4s, if that's the point. I don't go out of my way to be weird though, as that seems fake. Conforming can make me feel inauthentic sometimes, which is where "normality" can start to feel repressive, but when it aligns with my values then I have no problem adapting.

    9.6. Be low maintenance.
    I'm not high maintenance in relationships, and I don't see 4s that way. I'm very independent, rather easy-going about a lot of things, and can function without much emotional support from others (although I'd prefer to have it).
    I have a high 5 wing, if that explains some....and I'm an sp/sx. That results in a lot of self-containment.

    9.7. See the positives in most things/people.
    Yes - but I also see the negatives . I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt & will make excuses for them though. I'm much harder on myself than other people.

    9.8. Present a cheerful face to the world.
    No. I present a rather blank face often confused with aloofness or melancholy. I'm quiet & timid, and I don't like putting on any act really. If I am comfortable & have energy, then I can be quite friendly, but it's for real, no "face". I suppose this seems "moody".

    9.9. Not dwell on their insecurities much.
    I'm pretty hard on myself, but I honestly spend more time thinking about concepts & ideas, what I feel (as in MBTI rational Feeling), and pondering the future than I do dwelling on my emotions. I'm more imaginative/introspective when alone than wallowing in emotion. I'll still say I am a typical 4 in that I allow my flaws to obscure my good traits (in my eyes). I do inhabit moods like a 4 though - I don't deny the moodiness .
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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