I'm confident that I'm a 4w5.... an intellectual variety of a romantic. Trouble is, whenever I take the Enneagram assessments, I get different results for instinctual variants. I originally thought I was a social/self-preserving variant, but now I'm not so sure. Upon seeing the stacks of instinctual variants for the type 4, I saw that I also had traits similar to sp/so. Took an assessment today, and got sx variant. The lack of consistency is a bit frustrating.
In order to figure out which variant best fits, here are some traits that I exhibit as a 4w5:
- I tend to be quite sensitive to the environment around me. Even though I am predominantly occupied by my inner world, I find that different places can emotionally effect me in an aesthetic way. Architecture influences the mood I'm in, and I end up preferring to listen to certain pieces of music in particular environments, or the environment reminds me of a certain style of music. Even the weather, topography, and natural and man made things in nature influence my mood.
- When I am in a particular musical/aesthetic mood, I feel that it becomes a part of me, and I express it through the clothes and jewelry I wear, makeup, and computer OS themes. Despite this, the clothing and jewelry aren't too flashy to draw too much attention to myself.
- While I am quite emotional on the inside, on the outside I seem quiet and self-contained. Once in a while my temper flares. I've been told that I can be quite fussy, picky, and moody.
- I'm quite concerned about my overall health and well-being.
- I like my external environment to be organized, but not because it has to look perfect, but because it looks more aesthetically pleasing, plus it's easier to find stuff when you need it.
- I'm pragmatic on the outside, however on the inside I'm anything but. I'm prone to longing, and can be melancholic when I'm in a bad mood. When I'm in a good mood, I feel as if I'm heading towards self-actualization.
- I struggled with "fitting in" as a kid. I wasn't fashionable, and I tend to criticize society for pushing others to be fashionable and "keep up with the Jones'." The problem with going with the flow is that you end up loosing your personal identity. I especially feel out of place with my peers in terms of my musical preferences, and my own personal values. I value integrity, and wouldn't want to sacrifice my personal values just to win a popularity contest. I still feel like I don't fit in, but I've grown more comfortable with this.
- I'm a hopeless romantic. Despite the romanticism, I also relish in theory and intellectual pursuits. I find as a scientist, not only do I objectively analyze what I observe, but I also find it thrilling and interesting to discover something new, or to see how something works. I feel giddy like a kid at Christmas when I learn something new, or when something suddenly makes sense.
Based on the criteria I've given, which instinctual variant do you think concisely wraps them up? Sp/so, so/sp, sp/sx, or none of the above?