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  1. #1
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Default Confusion between 5's and 9's?

    Hello, I've read through "The Wisdom Of The Enneagram" by Don Riso multiple times, and I'm having a lot of troubles deciding if I'm a 5 or 9. I have very strong 9 traits (I'm indecisive, stubborn and I can seem absent-minded), but on the other hand, I have a ton of 5 traits (I'm not afraid to argue or stand up for my opinions in the least, emotionally distant and reclusive). I've always been told I was a 9 and I can identify a lot with other 9's with specific things but I'm not really sure anymore.

    Does anyone else have a problem like this or know someone who does?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Are you attracted to exploring stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable/uneasy?

    How angry are you? How do you feel about anger?

  3. #3
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    I am not necessarily attracted to it, but there's always a side of me that wants to know more about it and what causes people to go so far (suicide being my biggest fear). I have had dreams about it though.

    I can be quite an angry person, but I noticed I tend to only get angry when people I'm close with or my ideas/beliefs are being attacked. If it's me directly being attacked I normally just fall back into my head and go silent. I feel that anger isn't a good thing to act on or necessarily feel, but when I get angry I can't hold myself back. I'm not the type of person to ever get in a fight, as I think it shows weak-mindedness, but I know exactly how to chop people down verbally. I only show that on rare occasions though.

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    Senior Member Moonstone3's Avatar
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    Default I'm a tie...according to the official book test...

    When I'm calm, I feel at peace and act like a 9. I love nature, and try to keep the peace at my own expense sometimes. A good example is Emile Hirsch's character on into the Wild. The way he dies with a smile on his face, at the end, is a good example scene.
    When I'm stressed, I act like a 5. I'm a real recluse and I get obsessed with one thing, buy tons of books on the subject, learn everything I can, and become an expert. A good example is Robert Downey Jr's character on Sherlock Holmes. The captured flies that fly clockwise, as well as the analytical fighting style scenes come to mind.
    The enneagram was created based upon the fact that parenting styles cause living styles for children. Or better said-each number is a strategy system chosen by the child to 'survive' the parent.
    The child who chooses a 9 strategy had parents who constantly overlooked his/her emotions. The child feels the parents are indifferent and lacking in affection. The parental message conveys: "Don't." "Don't bother me." "Don't exist."
    The child who chooses a 5 strategy withdrawals from parents who seem emotionally depriving or intrusive. The parent conveys a danger in being close or belonging. The 5 child translates this into a instruction of "Don't be close." "Don't belong."
    Maybe that can help. It's from a book called "Emotions and the Enneagram" by Margaret Frings Keyes. It's a great book. It cleared up some things for me.
    Moonstone3

  5. #5
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    I've read through "The Wisdom Of The Enneagram" and "The Enneagram: Understanding Yourself And The Others In Your Life" and I'm still a little confused haha.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    I am not necessarily attracted to it, but there's always a side of me that wants to know more about it and what causes people to go so far (suicide being my biggest fear). I have had dreams about it though.

    I can be quite an angry person, but I noticed I tend to only get angry when people I'm close with or my ideas/beliefs are being attacked. If it's me directly being attacked I normally just fall back into my head and go silent. I feel that anger isn't a good thing to act on or necessarily feel, but when I get angry I can't hold myself back. I'm not the type of person to ever get in a fight, as I think it shows weak-mindedness, but I know exactly how to chop people down verbally. I only show that on rare occasions though.
    Well, I'm not an expert, but I did specifically mean you yourself with regard to the stuff that makes you uncomfortable. 9s often have a complicated relationship with anger, that's why I asked. Repressing it.

    Hmm, I guess that's not very helpful.

  7. #7
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Anything that adds to my thinking is helpful=D
    I think I'm more 9ish. I tend to get controlled by emotion in an argument rather than keeping my cool.

  8. #8
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    The difference:

    • Fives overthink everything, because they don't always feel they're good enough to deal with situations as they happen.
    • Nines are the Calm Little Centres Of The World, and try to stay as relaxed as possible in order to keep their immediate situation "in balance".


    Look at these:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...int-three.html

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...int-eight.html

    [youtube=fDFsq-KnzkQ]Five[/youtube]

    [youtube=17YGpit3zRk]Nine[/youtube]

    Have a look at these videos to see which group you fall into:

    [youtube=XOuuk9ms0So]5, 6, 7[/youtube]

    [youtube=X7_6rTGSyvw]8, 9, 1[/youtube]
    Hello

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    The difference:

    • Fives overthink everything, because they don't always feel they're good enough to deal with situations as they happen.
    • Nines are the Calm Little Centres Of The World, and try to stay as relaxed as possible in order to keep their immediate situation "in balance".


    Look at these:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...int-three.html

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...int-eight.html

    [youtube=fDFsq-KnzkQ]Five[/youtube]

    [youtube=17YGpit3zRk]Nine[/youtube]

    Have a look at these videos to see which group you fall into:

    [youtube=XOuuk9ms0So]5, 6, 7[/youtube]

    [youtube=X7_6rTGSyvw]8, 9, 1[/youtube]

    sorry to digress from this thread, but.....I watched those interesting videos..... and....do you think it's possible for a child who was (emotionally) "neglected" in some way to not become a nine? I guess I don't really understand how enneagramm works..... does it suggest that you develop your type due to what you experience?

  10. #10
    Energizer Bunny Resonance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halfjillhalfjack View Post
    sorry to digress from this thread, but.....I watched those interesting videos..... and....do you think it's possible for a child who was (emotionally) "neglected" in some way to not become a nine? I guess I don't really understand how enneagramm works..... does it suggest that you develop your type due to what you experience?
    It's pretty much inborn, it's just that certain things happen a certain way because of it...

    ..like for example, I was a really placid child, always happy with whatever toy I had, etc. so my parents got in the habit of not needing to do much to keep me happy. Something like that.
    The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together. ~ rCoxI ~ INfj ~ 5w6 so/sp

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