Right now I should be doing my homework, so I figured this is the best time to start a thread about my Enneagram type.
I would be very happy if someone helped me to figure it out. I've narrowed it down to 9w1 and 4w5, but I still can't put a finger on my main type. Recently I finally reluctantly conceded I am 4w5 - reluctantly, because I didn't feel half as proud of it as other owners of the number seem to be -, but after more thinking and reading the '4 is the loneliest number' thread I think that 9 is maybe more plausible after all, although some things still don't fit. I'll try to describe some of my traits and hope it'll shed some light
I have a rich inner world. I'm very imaginative and if I'm in good mental health, I constantly daydream and theorize about whatever I'm interested in at the moment. Or better, whatever I love at the moment. Whenever there is something that fascinates me, I will become pretty monotematic. I consider myself an artistic person; I love reading literature and writing, lately also drawing, and I have always very personal approach to art (I love art that affects my feelings).
As for feelings, I concetrate on them a lot. I usually don't have any problems figuring out what I feel; I'd say that I'm very much in touch with my feelings most of the time, and I take them very seriously. When there is a feeling-related problem that needs to be solved, I will spend hours and hours analysing it with my INFP friends. However, I wouldn't say that all my life revolves around my feelings; if needed, I will almost always supress them to make the other side feel comfortable.
I'm under the impression that 4s always want to be 'authentic' regardless of how it affects the other side; I almost always put the other side first. I don't know if it counts as ignoring/not dealing with negative emotions... I deal with them all the time on the inside, I just don't show it very often, and instead of outright supressing them I'm trying to change them into something more positive.
I have to admit there has been a situation in my life when I was supressing feelings and in the end I couldn't hold it anymore and exploded, which led to a catastrophe and a long period when I couldn't feel anything. However, I've read that whereas 4s tend to be nihilistic when depressed, 9s tend to be apathetic, and I was definitely extremely nihilistic.
It's very important to me to be true to myself. When I'm not, I'm feeling depressed. When I was younger (and more of a 4 I'd think) I desired to find someone who will understand me and love me and I'll be able to be myself with them. At that time, I was the 'weird' one at school, so I guess it was quite understandable. >< However, I wouldn't say that my standarts are dramatically high. If I find someone I like, I'm content and I work on the relationship to make it even better. I don't need to feel any instant magical connection; perhaps I wanted when I was younger, but now I find it kind of naive. According to my experience, slowly creating a deep bond is just as valuable, although it's great to feel that I just 'click' with someone immediately. Experience has made me a little sceptical towards the 'love at first sight' business, though.
Basically, I try to avoid conflicts, but when the conflict arises, I'm anything but apathetic. It usually happens when I strongly disagree with someone else's opinions, when someone does something that violates my values or when I feel unjustly offended. When it happens, I no longer feel that I have to take their feelings into consideration, I stop controlling myself and sometimes pretty much blow up. I would start such a conflict only if I felt it was absolutely necessary, though, otherwise I try to preserve peace, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I absolutely hate having conflicts with people I love; when someone forces me to express an opinion that I know will lead to controversy and possible argument, or forces me to express negative feelings, it literary hurts me. It drains me of energy to be constantly in conflict with someone I don't want to argue with.
Well, that would be it for now. I hope this information will be any good, otherwise feel free to ask me anything.
Thanks for your help in advance