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  1. #231
    Senior Member Delphyne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lostlove View Post
    As I mentioned in my previous post, I do not generally trust her judgement, as it is usually too much guided by her personal motives and her emotional needs. She generally lacks the ability to be able to see things in perspective.
    I didn`t want to apply that you should trust her judgment unconditionally. Though even if she doesn`t see things in perspective and is guided by her personal motives she may be able to see your blind spots. You can learn from your enemies, but you shouldn`t hand yourself over.

    I can think of two reasons. I have a natural tendency to clarify things if people misunderstood something which I am involved, particularly in the case when I am the one being misunderstood. I get upset if people misread or misunderstand me, that means most of the time - as it happens a lot.
    Maybe, but the more energy you put into defending yourself, the more likely it is that you`re actually avoiding to look at something within yourself. For instance, a 2w3 I met years ago explained with many words that she didn`t know why she always ended as the leader of a group. She said that it wasn`t her purpose, but despite her reservation she nearly always did get appointed. I didn`t believe her and after a little while it became obvious that she pushed herself so she could act as some kind of host. Be aware of long clarifications.

    Another reason is probably because I have more One in me than Three. In my mind, being competitive, using others to achieve your own goals, cheating, deceiving, faking, arrogant, seeing success as too important, etc. These are bad, and I cannot accept that I am bad. Hence I must defend myself that I am not a bad person.
    Nobody said you`re a bad person, that you`re cheating or deceiving. That`s your interpretation.

    In real life, I do not get along well with the 3 Type. They seem to be obvious to type (if you trust my typing skills, haha). I actually dislike talking to them. I find them too fake, having too much hidden agenda going on behind the surface, not sincere... My partner is a 2w3 - he is also very obvious to type. Even him just having a 3 wing boosts about his achievement more than I do, and I hate it when he lies or being dishonest just to get away from the consequence.
    There are some such obvious Threes, but most Threes aren`t the way you described them.

  2. #232
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    hello, hello

    i don't care much for cross-posting, but here's a little something that i posted in a thread about confusion between 4 and 9. the enneagram is new to me, and i think i've been going about it wrong, in thinking i'm a 9. could you give me any insight? i'm happy to give you more information if you'd like it:

    "i've had to examine and re-examine enneagram definitions of 4s and 9s, too. i originally typed myself as a 9, but i think i'm actually a 4. i think i was raised to believe that 4's are silly, histrionic, selfish, not to be taken seriously. i thus concealed parts of myself from my parents (self-effacing sounds pretty 9, huh). i think i've always been insecure and a bit unsure of myself. acting like a 9 won me popularity when i wanted it, but i always wanted to be admired and liked for who i was, not how comfortable i made other people. i'm still pretty hesitant, and am a listening ear and crying shoulder in my circle of friends, but this comes out of being sensitive, which both 4 and 9 are supposed to be. i suppose being a 4 still sort of carries a stigma in my mind, because of how my parents (mother, especially) made them out to be. i also wonder if i'm "good enough" or "talented enough" to be a 4, if people perceive me as different in a positive light (much of my family thinks i'm an alien). i suppose a lot of this worry about living up to personal and societal expectations is 4ish as well..

    and then there are wings. haven't investigated those too heavily, yet.

    whew! you didn't have to hear all that. sorry if it's a bit incoherent, but mind and fingers are operating at slightly differing speeds.."

    in the past, i've been known to shut away emotions i don't want to deal with, which smacks of 9. or i'll roll around in them! i've also experienced some of the problems associated with 4s: bulimia, promiscuity, alcohol and drug overuse (though the last two are subjective..)
    "Develop interest in life as you see it...the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." -- H. Miller
    -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
    Johari the good..
    Nohari.. the bad, and the ugly

    I'm a FiNe SiTe to see!

  3. #233
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    4s indulge their elitism while 9s frown upon it.

  4. #234
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    hey marcello, I know it's supposed to be near impossible, misstyped myself as a 7, when I'm actually a 5 and I think I need some help. I've read a few descriptions pointing out the differences, but I still can't work it out. I found out that I sometimes use information to gain control... but it takes effort to do that, and I don't usually put in that effort. A five will look like a seven under stress right? I spend a lot of time distracting myself through thought, but I dislike thinking about things indepth. Like, I can spend a long time playing an instrument, or just reading, and I'm quite happy to do that, but I never stick with anything, and I only tend to invest time in such things when I have a goal in mind. Like, I'll go and do physics when I envision myself as a brilliant physicist, but I get bored of it quickly. When I'm out and about, I'm usually very friendly, laidback, often entertainingly so, using self depreciative sarcasm, and expressing quirky ideas. I'm also somewhere between optimism and realism. To me, It's a complete toss up between 5, 7 and 9, the tests pin me as a nine usually, closely following 5 and 7 as well. After writing that, I'm starting to think I'm definitely a 5...
    5 3 9

  5. #235
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    really? sounds sevenish....but wth do i know.

    meaning...i don't know enough about 5's or 9's.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #236
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    really? sounds sevenish....but wth do i know.

    meaning...i don't know enough about 5's or 9's.
    It's a mix between the two, the scatteredness and the boredom of a seven, then the concentration and withdraw mode of a five. Using information as a means to control and defend against a situation is definitely a five trait. A five distracts themselves from anxiety by thinking about things, mastering concepts, a 7 goes by experience. The problem is, what kind of five is not a master of anything in depth, and is laid back and stuff??? I can see all three of these motivations, but I can't distinguish which is which
    5 3 9

  7. #237
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    hmmm....i also distract myself by thinking about stuff but perhaps in a different way than you're talking about.

    marcello??? so...you think i'm 7w6? or what....wait...you don't know me...how do i find out? i get 7w8 when i test.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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