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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    I might have read that as well, but it doesn't make any sense to me. A sense of pure personal authenticity negates any reason for comparison which is necessary in order to envy someone. I would expect that trait with an externally aggressive type like 7 or 8.

    The descriptions of 4's can emphasize personal sensitivity, which I have, but I don't indulge it. It embarrasses me to claim and defend my own sensitivities. How do 4's feel about conflict?
    Well, there are 4s with 3 or 5 wing, so maybe that answers part of it. A 3 wing would give a 4 more of a nose for externally (perhaps universally) valuable assets, thus creating a strong sense of dissonance between who they feel they are, and what they value, versus external forces.

    Rather than tackle it from a perspective of conflict, maybe the choice of words better suited for this would be drama. And I don't necessarily mean drama in the most plebian sense of the word. There might be a desire to stir things up within themselves, or in others as a way of having it reflected back to them. I know 4s are known for this wide range of emotional endurance and exploration, but I think deep down, it can be fabricated and false and inauthentic. I think this is a way for them, like any other person, to deal with the inherent nothingness because that's scary. So they indulge, even in the negative, masochistically.

    Also, I'm not sure what you mean by personal sensitivity.
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  2. #22
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hijynx View Post
    Well, there are 4s with 3 or 5 wing, so maybe that answers part of it. A 3 wing would give a 4 more of a nose for externally (perhaps universally) valuable assets, thus creating a strong sense of dissonance between who they feel they are, and what they value, versus external forces.

    Rather than tackle it from a perspective of conflict, maybe the choice of words better suited for this would be drama. And I don't necessarily mean drama in the most plebian sense of the word. There might be a desire to stir things up within themselves, or in others as a way of having it reflected back to them. I know 4s are known for this wide range of emotional endurance and exploration, but I think deep down, it can be fabricated and false and inauthentic. I think this is a way for them, like any other person, to deal with the inherent nothingness because that's scary. So they indulge, even in the negative, masochistically.

    Also, I'm not sure what you mean by personal sensitivity.
    I read subtle signals and get my feelings hurt too easily, but I push through it. After reading more about the types, I think I outwardly project E9, but am inwardly E4. I appear very laid back externally, but I internalize a lot and have significant anxiety issues, but I make sure most people never see it. I'm not truly and thoroughly laid back. It is mostly my longing for peace, but it isn't naturally actualized for me.

    Is it possible to have one Enneagram type as your social self and a second one as your private self?

    Here is more descriptions of E9
    The Peacemaker (the Nine)

    Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

    How to Get Along with Me
    If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
    I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
    Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
    Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
    Ask me questions to help me get clear.
    Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
    Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
    I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
    Let me know you like what I've done or said.
    Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

    What I Like About Being a Nine
    being nonjudgmental and accepting
    caring for and being concerned about others
    being able to relax and have a good time
    knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
    my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
    my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
    being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

    What's Hard About Being a Nine
    being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
    being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
    being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
    being confused about what I really want
    caring too much about what others will think of me
    not being listened to or taken seriously

    Nines as Children Often
    feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
    tune out a lot, especially when others argue
    are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

    Nines as Parents
    are supportive, kind, and warm
    are sometimes overly permissive or non directive
    link Type 9 Enneagram Type Description |9types.com
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)
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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    I read subtle signals and get my feelings hurt too easily, but I push through it. After reading more about the types, I think I outwardly project E9, but am inwardly E4. I appear very laid back externally, but I internalize a lot and have significant anxiety issues, but I make sure most people never see it. I'm not truly and thoroughly laid back. It is mostly my longing for peace, but it isn't naturally actualized for me.
    This sounds like some form of introjection, a characteristic of E4. As far as projecting a certain enneagram type > I don't know. Everyone has a persona they project, unconsciously or not.

  4. #24
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    I was reading the link that @Kasper posted and the description of social 9 is so spot on for me. I tend to think I am sp or sx from other descriptions I've read, but the ones on that link for sp or sx don't really fit me as well as the one for so.

    So I guess it depends which description you read.

    Social Nines seek a sense of well being through social connection and friendship. People of this variant may often not seem like Nines because they are usually more outgoing, active, and involved in their world. There is more warmth and affection expressed by Nines of this variant. They tend to be idealistic and are often supportive of causes, acting as the "social glue" in many organizations and groups. But even in the midst of social activity, Social Nines remain strangely unaware of and unaffected by the problems of others. They are drawn to situations in which they feel they can belong, but they also internally hold themselves apart—usually by emotionally distancing themselves from others while maintaining an outward friendliness.

    Since Social Nines tend to be affable and cheerful and enjoy having different experiences, they can resemble Sevens. They also tend to be more task-oriented: they enjoy working on projects and being involved in meaningful activities with others, so they can also resemble Threes. Unlike Threes, however, Social Nines have difficulty sustaining efforts on their own behalf. They do not easily pursue their own goals and tend to get sidetracked by social interactions and others' needs and agendas.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  5. #25
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    A mistype between Nines and Eights might be generated if the wing is especially strong, but as a general rule, the two should be distinguishable in terms of the manner in which they assert themselves. Assertion comes naturally to Eights; not so for Nines. Nines tend to be conflict avoidant; Eights sometimes invite conflict in order to rev up their experience or to “clear the air.” Nines tend to withdraw under stress; Eights to assert themselves.
    In my experience, 8w9 would be more likely to be mistyped or appear like a 9, than the reverse. I have never known a 9 I thought could be an 8. Whereas I have considered 9w8 for some 8w9s. Same goes for 1w9. 9s have always seemed more likely to be mistaken for the integration or disintegration than the wings- if mistyped to begin with.

  6. #26
    Senior Member The Penguin's Avatar
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    Bryan Cranston, actor, is also a 9
    ESFJ 6w5-1w9-4w5 sp/so


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