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  1. #11
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    Its funny to look back on it now but that's how it went. I would say he brings up issues at least half of the time when they exist. He isn't afraid to say WTF? to anyone, although it's very diplomatic, especially with me.
    Hahahah.

    Yes. Been there, done that. I learned how to do that in WORK situations long before family situations, mostly because I've not had many people that close to me in my later life. Thus it comes as a surprise to me that this person who really loves me and whom I really love is totally driving me bonkers and something has to change. It isn't that anyone is doing anything wrong, but that I lacked the kind of practice I needed to set strong boundaries ... boundaries would get drawn, but somehow they'd get drawn around the wrong things - petty instances instead of overall classes.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I know that being around conflict for very long is lethal. I'm not as good as I'd like to be, interpersonally, so my solution is to severely limit the number of people I interact with. But when I am forced at work to try to work among people who can't stand each other, it comes to a point where I cannot function at all. Is this typical 9?
    Likes labyrinthine liked this post

  3. #13
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    I have this female coworker that I've thought to be an ISFP but she's gradually started to feel more like an ISTJ.

    She can stay in his cubicle for prolonged times and doesn't need interaction. She's very dutiful. Can recall legislation easily word by word. Is articulate. Get stressed when she encounters something (about work) unfamiliar.

    However she can be very feeler like most of the time. And I don't sense any repressed Se from her even though she gets angry from time to time.

    She has a habit of sugarcoating things in a way that would make them more agreeable to the other party, and I sense that she's doing that on purpose so that people will do what she wants them to do on their own. This seems to be like some kind of conflict avoidance. She insists that order of how we do things shouldn't change. She can shoulder significant amount of workload when need be.

    The funny thing is she's willing to bend or ignore the rules (leave things off the record for instance) when it serves her purpose and when she thinks that she'll have relatively more trouble if she doesn't do that.

    I am starting to think that she's a 9w1 (rather than 9w8).

    My coworkers are two ESFP, three ISTJ, one ESTJ, one ESFJ, one ENTP and one ISFJ.

    There's a deficiency of F in the office. My coworkers can go thru day sitting in their cubicle without connecting much. They used to go to office lunchroom seperately. They don't go to places after work hours.

    They seem to have this disregard for Fe-users. ISFJ is a guy. He's not obsessing about things when he's mistreated. He just regards them as bad things that have bygone and forgets them. He might as well be a 9 type.

    Anyway, I feel disconnected at work. So, do ISTJ women feign F?

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Anyway, I feel disconnected at work. So, do ISTJ women feign F?
    Most assuredly, just as, for example, ESFP men might feign T and appear more ESTP

  5. #15
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    All nines are a bunch of hippies and they all need to jump off a cliff

  6. #16
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by draon9 View Post
    All nines are a bunch of hippies and they all need to jump off a cliff
    Ha!

    It would be very difficult for those who know me to describe me as a hippie. I'm very much on the conservative side. But I have plenty of friends who might be described as hippies or otherwise very (extremely!) liberal. Being a 9 is what lets me straddle the gap. 9s, especially mature 9s, try to understand both sides from each point of view. 9s don't immediately see people as evil just because there exists a moral disagreement. Not that this is always magnanimous on the part of 9s - there is kind of a condescension towards others that 9s need to watch out for. 9s tend to feel morally superior to people who don't or won't see both sides of an argument.

    That doesn't mean that 9s don't take sides in an argument, but they'll pick their battles very, very carefully. They'll disagree very strongly with you without telling you outright, because they know you'll suck up their precious energy trying to convince them otherwise.

    Anyway, I like my friends as friends, and with respect to everything we do have in common, I don't bother trying to tell them where I think they're wrong. (This feature of being a 9 makes some people doubt that I am really an INTJ - at least until they see me really argue a point where I stand my ground.)
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  7. #17
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    What are 9's like as artists? I can't tell if I'm a 4 that looks like a 9 because health issues make me droopy or if I'm a 9 whose life focuses on creative expression and personal authenticity. I highly value non-conflict and personal authenticity.

    Also I am a hippie, but too afraid of heights to go near a cliff let alone jump off.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  8. #18
    Senior Member riva's Avatar
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    All e9 descriptions are actually about 9w1s.
    .

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    What are 9's like as artists? I can't tell if I'm a 4 that looks like a 9 because health issues make me droopy or if I'm a 9 whose life focuses on creative expression and personal authenticity. I highly value non-conflict and personal authenticity.

    Also I am a hippie, but too afraid of heights to go near a cliff let alone jump off.
    I had the same issue. What did it for me was 4s are said to experience envy. While I don't see myself as envying most people, because frankly, most people are petty and forgettable, I think this type of response is actually revealing of envy. Deep down there's this deep sense of pain and something missing. I think I read it's a sexual 4 type of thing.

    I too value and strive for non-conflict solutions, but sometimes it can't be helped.

  10. #20
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hijynx View Post
    I had the same issue. What did it for me was 4s are said to experience envy. While I don't see myself as envying most people, because frankly, most people are petty and forgettable, I think this type of response is actually revealing of envy. Deep down there's this deep sense of pain and something missing. I think I read it's a sexual 4 type of thing.

    I too value and strive for non-conflict solutions, but sometimes it can't be helped.
    I might have read that as well, but it doesn't make any sense to me. A sense of pure personal authenticity negates any reason for comparison which is necessary in order to envy someone. I would expect that trait with an externally aggressive type like 7 or 8.

    The descriptions of 4's can emphasize personal sensitivity, which I have, but I don't indulge it. It embarrasses me to claim and defend my own sensitivities. How do 4's feel about conflict?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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