Amateur Night At MBTIc

[EffEmDoubleyou]

It's Amateur Night at the MBTIc comedy club!

Ever have a funny thought with no appropriate thread to put it in?
Ever have a witty but off-topic response that you didn't post because it would have derailed the thread?
Ever wanna just show off?

If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions, this is your place. Whatever it is - a personal anecdote, a fake motivational poster, or just a video of your brother getting hit in the nuts - if it's funny it's welcome here. The only rule is that if it's not your own work (and this will be more fun if it is), give due credit.*

* The phrase "the only rule" is said in the spirit of healthy comedy and is subject to the rules and regulations of MBTICentral, its moderators, and their agents and representatives. In other words, don't be a hero and wind up the next Uberfuhrer.

[EffEmDoubleyou]

I suppose I'll go first and get the ball rolling...

I've decided to change my last name to "Grbk".

Have you ever noticed how sometimes semi-notable people continue to enjoy disproportionate fame because their unusual names often bail out crossword puzzle writers? Mel Ott, Don Ho and Bobby Orr, I'm talking about you. Mel Ott was a baseball player in the 1930s and 40s, and would have completely vanished into the mists of history if his name didn't contain an unusual letter combination. Today, crossword enthusiasts who don't even follow baseball know of his impressive but long-forgotten exploits. Messrs. Ho and Orr, while more generally known, still make it onto the list of Crossword All-Stars. I imagine it will be quite a blow to Don Ho's ongoing level of fame if "ho" is ever accepted as a legitimate form of "whore" and the Blue Fairy turns it into a real word.

You can see the advantages of changing my name to Grbk. With a vowel-free surname and even the slightest hint of success, I would vault to the top of the Crossword All-Stars and appear in the New York Times on a regular basis. I will forever be the answer to the clue, "Minor early 21st-century humorist (4)".

[GZA]

Whats the deal with the black box in an airplane? Why don't they just make the whole thing out of the black box?!


</not being funny>

I'm not sure who thaught of that, unfourtunately :P

Good thread idea!

[Silently Honest]

Damn it, I have tons of these throughout the day, yet when I need to recall them I get nothing.

[BryNTP]

Doody. My kids think I am a riot.

[scantilyclad]

Originally Posted by Silently Honest

Damn it, I have tons of these throughout the day, yet when I need to recall them I get nothing.

me too! i have nothing right now. dammit all.

[Nocap]

I'm scared Edahn is going to be every other post saying "Moved from xxxxxxxx"

Witty derailment; check.

[Nocap]

Originally Posted by GZA

Whats the deal with the black box in an airplane? Why don't they just make the whole thing out of the black box?!

Too heavy. It wouldn't fly.

Additionally, I think it would be extremely expensive. I'm not sure but I think it's made of that hexagon carbon molecule. Same stuff as diamonds. It's synthetic.

Edit: See I was right it is expensive.

These recording devices, which cost between $10,000 and $15,000 each

That's for like a cubic foot. More like a half. A whole plane would be probably that x20. At least.

[GZA]

I have something dissecting the nature of stand up comedy, but I doubt it will be at all humourous written down, and possibly otherwise

I'll give it a go anyway.


Ever notice when stand up comedians ask you if you knew something about them -and its always something you'd never know about them?

"I loove to cook food for people. Did you know that?!"

They say that as if they expect you to respond "*shocked* No, I didn't!". Of course we didn't know that, you ass, you just hopped on stage and already we're hoping the obnoxious drunk makes himself useful and beats you with a spoon.

Then they go into the joke more and more:

"I love to cook for people. Its that feeling of satisfaction. I alwasy feel so good, except when I cook for my mother in law"

Its always about the mother in law.

"She doesn't think anything is good enough for her daughter, so she isn't enjoying my food, she's thinking of ways to convince my wife to divorce me.

Mother in law- "Boy, do you serve this shit every night?!"

Me- "I made it specially for you!"

MiL- "Boy, don't you get smart with me. If this is the way you treat me I can't imagine what kind of slop you serve my daughter. I told her to find a good man, but she done dissapoint me. I know she likes it cajun. I like it cajun, too, wheres the hot sauce?!""

Then they have this sly way of just going into the next joke without you realizing they changed the topic.

"So I'm looking at the hot sauce, and I begin to wonder. You know when you eat spicy food and you get a runny nose ebcause it clears your sinuses? One time, in third grade, my friend Ryan wanted to skip school, so he took a bottle of hot sauce and put it into his favourite cup when no one was looking. He thought he might get a runny nose if he had some hot food, so he decided to drink the cup when his mom left the room. Well, if a few spicy chicken wings gives you a runny nose, imagine what kind of slop you'd get from a glass of hot sauce!

I didn't see the result, but it's rumoured he turned into the Green Slimer from Ghostbusters"

Fin. They don't call it amateur for nothing

[GZA]

By the way, is something considered spam in this thread if it isn't funny?