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Old 07-23-2007, 01:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The personality defect test

OkCupid! The Personality Defect Test

Your Score: Bitch-Slap
You are 28% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 42% Arrogant.

You are the Bitch-Slap, the hallmark response of any abusive husband! You are more intuitive than others, focusing more on feelings than rational explanations, and you are also probably very brutual because you care more about yourself than the well-being of others. As all nagging wives know, brutality combined with emotion often leads to BITCH-SLAPPING, which is why you are called "The Bitch Slap". (That and because I find it amusing to accuse people of pummeling female dogs.) Your humility probably stems from insecurity, if anything, because people fond of slapping the shit out of someone in place of rational discussion are usually not humble in the way Jesus was humble. Possible sources of insecurity? A small penis, a small bank account, a small intelligence...gee, when you say "small" a lot, it stops sounding like a real word! Not only that, but you are also rather introverted, and any tendencies towards brutality you possess may also result from the fact that you bottle up your emotions and don't show them to others until you explode in rage like some sort of shaken soda can. Take it from me, it is much more rewarding to bottle beer over emotions. You can't get wasted on emotions. Aside from all my talk (and it's a lot of talk) you are probably not a VIOLENT person, just someone who is rather selfish and who makes decisions based upon emotional motives. At any rate, being a bitch-slap does not necessarily mean you will abuse your spouse (your body odor is no doubt abuse enough); it only means you are rather intuitive, uncaring toward others, brutal, introverted, and possibly insecure.

And sorry about that body odor remark if you really are insecure. I promise that you smell like roses. Being fertilized by cow shit.


To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle. (I am not and I will anyone who says differently)

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

=====================

Yes, I know, it's a silly test, but damn it I am silly.
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Old 07-23-2007, 01:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Your Score: Robot
You are 71% Rational, 28% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.

You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
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Old 07-23-2007, 08:09 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Robot! Not so! Not in denial either. I don't think.
57% Rational
14% Extroverted
14% Brutal
14% Arrogant
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Old 07-23-2007, 10:31 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Your Score: Haughty Intellectual
You are 71% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

You are the Haughty Intellectual. You are a very rational person, emphasizing logic over emotion, and you are also rather arrogant and self-aggrandizing. You probably think of yourself as an intellectual, and you would like everyone to know it. Not only that, but you also tend to look down on others, thinking yourself better than them. You could possibly have an unhealthy obsession with yourself as well, thus causing everyone to hate you for being such an elitist twat. On top of all that, you are also introverted and gentle. This means that you are just a quiet thinker who wants fame and recognition, in all likelihood. Like so many countless pseudo-intellectuals swarming around vacuous internet forums to discuss worthless political issues, your kind is a scourge upon humanity, blathering and blathering on and on about all kinds of boring crap. If your personality could be sculpted, the resulting piece would be Rodin's "The Thinker"--although I am absolutely positive that you are not nearly as muscular or naked as that statue. Rather lacking in emotion, introspective, gentle, and arrogant, you are most certainly a Haughty Intellectual! And, most likely, you will never achieve the recognition or fame you so desire! But no worries!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

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Old 07-23-2007, 10:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I've done this a couple times before, so a third time may skew results.


The first time I got "The Robot".

The second time I got "The Spiteful Loner".
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Old 07-24-2007, 12:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I took this a while ago and got "sociopath". (Rational, introverted, brutal, arrogant.)
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Old 07-24-2007, 12:31 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Emo Kid
(You are 28% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.)

"You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:

life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad

So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Smartass.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.
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Old 07-24-2007, 01:17 AM   #8 (permalink)
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You are 85% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Spiteful Loner, the personality type that is most likely to go on a shooting rampage. In high school, you were probably that kid who wore all black and who sat alone in a corner of the lunch room, drawing pictures of dead babies. You are a rational person and tend to hold emotions in very low-esteem; not only that, but you are also rather introverted, meaning you probably bury any emotions you feel deep inside yourself, like all of the bodies in your backyard. Combine these traits with your dislike of others and your brutality, and it seems that you would be quite likely to shoot innocent people in a rampage. Most likely, you also have low self-esteem. Hell, I get low self-esteem just looking at you. This is only yet one more incentive to go on a shooting rampage, because you wouldn't care if you died as a result. Granted, you probably haven't gone on a shooting rampage and probably never will, but all the motivations are there. All you need is for someone to push you over the edge, calling you names and belittling you. Like me. But don't shoot me. I have a 101 mile-long knife, you know. In conclusion, your personality is defective because you are too introverted, brutal, insecure, and rather unemotional. No wonder no one hangs around you, you morbid, cold-hearted freak!

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Old 07-24-2007, 02:48 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Hippie
You are 0% Rational, 100% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 0% Arrogant.

You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, humility, and a faint scent of marijuana, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and free love! Immediately following that, you then frolic to the hospital with herpes! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You probably enjoy poetry, especially beatnik ultra-liberal crap about how horrible fascism is, even though your suburbanized, sheltered idea of "fascism" is having to pay two dollars per gallon at the gas pump. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you also love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Though I highly doubt they love to interact with you! Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. Now go do your drugs and have sex with filthy bearded men in tye dye shirts.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Sociopath.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.

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Old 07-24-2007, 04:21 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Your Score: Sociopath

You are 85% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You are confident and capable of social interaction, but you prefer the silence of dead bodies to the loud, twittering nitwits you normally encounter in your daily life. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you with a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, so tiny and small. You take great pleasure in the misery of others, and there is nothing sweeter to you than the sweet glory of using someone else's shattered failure to project yourself to success. Except sugar. That just may be sweeter. In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don't kill me for writing mean things about you! I have a 101 mile-long knife! Don't make me use it!
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