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Thread: Describe Your Favorite Movie Horribly

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    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Default Describe Your Favorite Movie Horribly

    Stolen from Facebook.

    Some of my favorite films, summarized badly by me, with spoilers:

    A restauranteur with a gambling addiction asks his redneck trucker friend to help him rescue his fiancee from a banker who is also a wizard with an eye color fetish.


    A bunch of people tell the same joke over and over again.


    Hey guess what, a pirate is here to kill you -- no wait, it's your old farmhand and he's here to rescue you -- and he likes you for some reason? Even though you were always mean to him?


    Toxic masculinity makes a man with Dissociative Identity Disorder start a political movement, beat the shit out of people, shoot himself in the face, and listen to The Pixies.


    A trilogy:
    1. Indiana Jones and the Patriotic 'Roid Rage
    2. The Captain Bourne Supremacy
    3. Super-Frenemies
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

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    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
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    An alcoholic helps his ex's friend get the proper neonatal care.




    A pothead tries his hand at private investigation.




    A pothead programmer tries his hand at virtual reality.




    Sole survivor of a brutal attack on the crew of her tanker ship bonds with an orphan and meets a potential love interest. Cat fight at the end




    Two faithful friends are separated; an account of their interweaving paths and the hardships their friends endure. One of them goes all Walden with his other friend and sees a ghost in the woods.

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    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
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    two faithful friends have dealings with the Mafia, then aid a political militia in their plans to bring down the government.


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    came back haunted Array EJCC's Avatar
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    A fictional character in a movie learns that he is a fictional character in a book, but makes sure he's writing his own story (kind of) by the end. He never learns that he's a fictional character in a movie.



    Incredibly attractive man with cute cat plays a lot of wonderful folk music and yet is still the complete, undateable worst.



    Quote Originally Posted by Anaximander View Post
    Two faithful friends are separated; an account of their interweaving paths and the hardships their friends endure. One of them goes all Walden with his other friend and sees a ghost in the woods.

    I love this one!
    "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world -- 'No, YOU move.'"
    - Captain America

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
    Likes Anaximander, nonsequitur liked this post

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    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Array Mole's Avatar
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    Fantasia by Disney some say is a masterpiece of music and characters, while other say it is a deliberate divorce from reality, and sugar sweet, that not only rots your teeth, but rots your mind.

    American Hustle some say is a wonderful movie of genuine American characters, while others say it shows the low side of American life, that corrupts the viewer, and provides anti-American propaganda - and they say it is a true story! What next?
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    The Shining: a darling father wants to bond with his family. As Wendy soon finds out, a daily writing habit is the key to success. Little Danny Torrence learns that writing on doors with mommy's lipstick is a big no-no. Even though the elevator is on the fritz again, all the hotel guests are so thrilled with their stay, they never want to leave.
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    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
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    After his birthday, a career military officer experiences a midlife crisis, meets an old flame, runs into an old nemesis, loses his best friend in battle and reevaluates his career choices

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    Man. Fiance. Oh hai. Sex life. Best friend. Infidelity. Doggy. What a story. Drug dealer. Mom has breast cancer. Party. Cheep cheep cheep. Infidelity. Tearing man apart. Kills self.



    I think I just described it better than the movie did itself...
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    Healer-in-Training Array Morning Star's Avatar
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    A boy from the slums becomes rich on a game show solely through his street smartness.


    A playboy gets shunned by the girl he loves. He travels across India to seek forgiveness from two other girls whose hearts he broke in the past, then returns to find that the girl who shunned him now all of a sudden realizes she loves him back.


    A mediocre junior artist falls in love with a famous heroine, witnesses her murder by her wicked greedy producer husband, and dies trying to save her. He is reborn with the exact same features that he had in the previous life, then finds a girl who looks exactly like the murdered heroine in order to scare the now-aging producer into confessing to the crime. The ghost of the real heroine steps in and murders her husband in an act of justice.
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anaximander View Post
    two faithful friends have dealings with the Mafia, then aid a political militia in their plans to bring down the government.


    Ooh, you're good at this
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

    MY BLOGS: https://freestylelines.blogspot.com/, https://tfthdiary.blogspot.com/
    TWITTER: https://twitter.com/angel_ss1
    TUMBLR: http://angelight1.tumblr.com/

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