User Tag List

Results 1 to 10 of 10

  1. #1
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default Slow-Motion Writing

    My daughter's teacher sent home a homework assignment for parents today: write a 1-page report about an experience when time seemed to slow down. Try to make the reader feel that same "time slowed down" feeling by giving lots of details about how it felt to you, and what you saw/heard/smelled/etc at the time.

    After I got done laughing at the idea of homework for parents, I decided to write about a near-drowning experience I had as a child. If anyone else would like to try the exercise, it was actually quite interesting. Here's what I came up with.

    Riptide


    At the end of the sixth grade, my class took a trip to the beach. I had never been in the ocean without my dad before, and I was nervous about wearing a bathing suit in front of my classmates, so I didn't swim for the first several days of the trip. My best friend Jenny kept trying to get me into the ocean, but I wouldn't go. On the last day of the trip, Jenny said to me, "Listen. If you don't go in the ocean at least once, you're going to go home and feel like a big baby. You can't go to the beach and not get in the ocean! So let's go, just me and you. We can sneak out. That way, nobody has to see you in your suit."

    I decided to go for it. I really didn't want to go home and feel like a big baby, and Jenny was probably right that I would have. We decided we had to go right away since it was looking stormy and we might miss our chance if we waited much longer. So we donned our suits and slipped down to the beach. We waded out slowly. The water was choppy and frothy, and it pulled at our feet as we walked out, as if to coax us out further. As we reached waist deep water, each wave lifted us off the ocean floor and pulled us out a bit further from the beach. At first it was fun; we laughed and dunked each other and bodysurfed. But just a few minutes later, we found ourselves in neck deep water and had to struggle to find the bottom again after each wave. That was when it stopped being fun. Jenny gestured back at the shore. I nodded; it was time to go back before we got in over our heads.

    We tried to walk back to the shore, but the waves kept pulling us further away from it. Pretty soon, I couldn't find the bottom with my feet, even between waves. Each one crashed violently over my head and churned me around helplessly in the water. In between waves, I could see Jenny about thirty feet away. Her arms were straight up in the air and her mouth was open. I couldn't hear her over the roar of the ocean, but I knew she was screaming for help. I was filled with terror, my heart pounding and my limbs flailing. I started to scream for help too, but before long, it was all I could do to get a breath between waves. Sometimes I couldn't even tell which direction the surface was in. I tried to follow the sunlight, but still I often reached the air just as another wave collapsed on top of me.

    Later, I would learn that Jenny and I were caught in what is called a riptide or rip current. When you get caught in a rip current that wants to take you out to sea, you should not try to fight it and go straight back; instead, you should swim parallel to the shore to get out of the current first. But I didn't know that at the time. All I knew was that every time I tried to get my face out of the water, a wave slammed down on me like a door being slammed by an angry teenager. I was afraid, and exhausted from struggling. I wanted to cry, but that took breath, which I was fresh out of.

    Suddenly I felt a strong arm around my waist. The owner of the arm used her other arm to swim us away from the current. When we reached calmer water and I caught my breath, I saw the person the arm was attached to: Becky, my art teacher. Her head full of wet, fuzzy dreadlocks looked like a halo to me at that moment. She helped me back to the shore where I saw Jenny sitting on the beach, our English teacher's arms around her. They were both crying. I limped over to Jenny's side and collapsed with her. Never again, I said to myself, and for a long time, I kept my word. It would be nearly ten more years before I would dip even a toe in the ocean again.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  2. #2
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    7,233

    Default

    It's like reading one of Jennifer's posts in fast forward.








  3. #3
    señor member colmena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INXP
    Posts
    1,550

    Default

    I was sitting in a cometary one day, a tranquil place with cherry blossoms, watching the sunset. I looked up and saw a bird perch upon a silhouette of a tree, and as the bird flew away, the tree slowly swayed up and down because of the bird's weight.
    I had seen this video before going out, and I was just very aware of how everything is connected, and generally my relative space in existence. I had a 'moment'.

    YouTube - MindCalming session 2 SILENT GAP
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    type
    Posts
    9,100

    Default

    I would have showed up at the school bearing an attitude if they tried to make me do homework (really).

  5. #5
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,741

    Default

    I'd probably just write a slow motion narrative of myself receiving the assignment and describe in depth my thoughts on how ridiculous it was.
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  6. #6
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    I would have showed up at the school bearing an attitude if they tried to make me do homework (really).
    I don't mind, really. This is, for the most part, a "no homework" school, so this is kind of a riff on that more than an actual assignment. It isn't a requirement, and it wouldn't affect my daughter if I didn't do it, but it took like fifteen minutes so, eh. I don't volunteer enough so I'm actually glad for the opportunity to help out a little. He's going to read some of the parent essays to the class. Our state gives a writing test at the end of the fourth grade, so they're practicing different kinds of prompts periodically all year, and this is the kind of thing they do I guess.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  7. #7
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,741

    Default

    I could see that. But I have a deep seeded fear of homework and authority that it borders physical abuse symptoms. ESPECIALLY writing( endless lines when I was younger), if it was something else or more of a report on something I probably would have done it easily.
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  8. #8
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aimahn View Post
    I could see that. But I have a deep seeded fear of homework and authority that it borders physical abuse symptoms. ESPECIALLY writing( endless lines when I was younger), if it was something else or more of a report on something I probably would have done it easily.
    The kids call the teachers by their first names at this school and it would never go over if a teacher punished a kid by making them write lines over like that. I think a lot of the parents who chose it had experiences like yours and wanted something different for their own kids.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  9. #9
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    7,917

    Default

    I've never had a major near-death experience, so the only times when time has slowed down for me is when I get high. In terms of time slowing down it goes pot<mushrooms<LSD<Nitrous.

  10. #10
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    3,823

    Default

    I've nearly drowned, too... (I was 3 or 4, though)

    that'd sorta be an interesting forum poll: have you had a near death experience?
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

Similar Threads

  1. Write your own personal ad
    By proteanmix in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 12-26-2014, 04:04 PM
  2. Post links to excellent writings
    By Economica in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 09-06-2008, 11:52 PM
  3. What kind of essays would you prefer to write?
    By SolitaryWalker in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-16-2007, 03:51 PM
  4. Essay writing contest
    By SolitaryWalker in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 05-14-2007, 03:18 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO