"Angry" music: why do some people find it relaxing?

[BadOctopus]

I have a friend who has told me on several occasions that he finds slow music irritating instead of relaxing, and that fast, loud, aggressive music calms him. I find this very interesting, and also somewhat strange. I've always found angry, frenetic music to be grating on my nerves. It makes me agitated and irritable. I've asked him to expound on his views, but he always says, "I can't explain it. It's just how I feel."

No. You cannot just tell me a thing, and not give me any reason for it. That is bananas.

So does anyone else relate to what he's saying? If so, could you please explain it to me? I really want to understand this.

 

[five sounds]

If I'm angry then angry music calms me. I'd I'm feeling high strung, angry music calms me.

But I like calm music for when I'm feeling mellow or emotional. Or when I feel overwhelmed and need the equivalent of a musical hug.

 

[Totenkindly]

I don't know, but he's not the only one. I've heard others say this as well, or happened to read stuff (like blog entries) where it seems like the person is that way.

It's kind of like some drugs and alcohol as well, it affects mood differently in different people. Or some kinds of ADs will make some people highstrung where for others it'll mellow them out.

How would he be able to explain it, unless he was a brain chemist? He doesn't understand "why" it is that way; he only understands the actual experience of it.

My own music taste varies. I tend to be a "relaxed music person" but sometimes get in a state where more driving music seems to make me more coherent and focused and capable... which is kind of calming, I suppose (i.e., "in balance while moving, stabilized in momentum versus randomly drifting," etc.). Maybe that's what he means?

 

[hjgbujhghg]

I am the same as your friend, aggressive music often calms me. Well I think it's because the aggression and temper in fast music helps me to vent my own high temper. I like slow music, but not calm, I like when the slow songs are emotionally very expressive. Either way, I need a strong emotional element in music in order to like it.

 

[robowolf]

Well I think it's because the aggression and temper in fast music helps me to vent my own high temper.

For me it's the same.

When I'm angry I want to destroy things and scream, but I can't, so I let others do it for me.

 

[BadOctopus]

When I'm angry I want to destroy things and scream, but I can't, so I let others do it for me.

I can understand that. And I understand how it can have a driving, stimulating effect. But calming? Every bit of research I've read, combined with my own experience, seems to indicate that the louder and faster the music is, the more of a taxing effect it has on the brain. It produces an adrenaline rush, and puts the nervous system in a state of excitement. That's why people get whipped into a frenzy at rock concerts, whereas that's much less likely to happen at a performance of chamber music.

I personally can't listen to heavy metal, even though I can recognize the talent of the musicians. I'm super sensitive to external stimuli, and that type of music overloads my neurons.

The only thing I can think of is that there are exceptions to every rule, and there are some people whose brains are just wired differently.

 

[rav3n]

Not that it's calming for me but if stress hormones are bled off, perhaps that's the calming effect.

 

[BadOctopus]

Not that it's calming for me but if stress hormones are bled off, perhaps that's the calming effect.

AHA! That actually makes sense. If that type of music releases pent-up stress hormones, I can see how some people might find the effects "calming". Now we're getting somewhere.

 

[Tennessee Jed]

It's probably mostly about familiarity. To me, jazz is stressful and irritating because it's cacophonous and chaotic; classical music is too variable (quiet in spots, thunderous in spots) and difficult to decipher, opera is like fingernails on chalkboards, etc. But I like it when Black Sabbath or other classic hard rock comes on the radio because it's what I grew up on. It relaxes me because it's familiar, catchy, predictable, etc.

All music is pretty much the same thing: A beat, some instruments, a singer growling or warbling some words. You turn it up, you turn it down according to your preferences. It mostly gets down to what you grew up on--what's familiar.

 

[rav3n]

It's probably mostly about familiarity. To me, jazz is stressful and irritating because it's cacophonous and chaotic; classical music is too variable (quiet in spots, thunderous in spots) and difficult to decipher, opera is like fingernails on chalkboards, etc. But I like it when Black Sabbath or other classic hard rock comes on the radio because it's what I grew up on. It relaxes me because it's familiar, catchy, predictable, etc.

All music is pretty much the same thing: A beat, some instruments, a singer growling or warbling some words. You turn it up, you turn it down according to your preferences. It mostly gets down to what you grew up on--what's familiar.

Classic rock wouldn't be classified as angry music. Think death and black metal.

 

[Tennessee Jed]

Classic rock wouldn't be classified as angry music. Think death and black metal.

OP didn't specifically talk about death and black metal; just "angry, frenetic music." For my generation, that would be Black Sabbath and other old heavy metal. Which I find relaxing.

ETA: Maybe my previous post wasn't clear; I was saying that Black Sabbath is relaxing to me, whereas all those other types of music (classical, jazz, opera) irritate and distress me because they're unfamiliar to me. But of course another generation would have the reverse opinion.

As for death and black metal, I could get into it but haven't bothered. Mainly I just find it kind of monotonous. (But I like Metallica and all that, which is kind of in that direction.)

 

[OrangeAppled]

It helps them get the anger out.
Some people have trouble processing things like anger, and so an outlet that is not "threatening" or "shameful", such as entertainment, can help them surface the emotion and the dispel it.
They will feel calmer as a result, of course.

It's a similar effect to when someone validates you emotionally and empathizes with you. It can not only clarify a feeling (instead of a cloudy bad feeling, it is clearly "anger" now), but also help it subside so you can be more clear-headed again (the emotion releases, and now the trigger can be dealt with calmly).

Someone mentioned familiarity, and I think that's part of it too. If they generally like a certain kind of music, then familiarity in style can be soothing.

 

[Pionart]

Suppose you have a fair bit of anger bottled up. Then, angry music will allow this anger to take expression through artistic form. This has a relaxing effect.

I became more irritable when I stopped listening to metal.

 

[BadOctopus]

It helps them get the anger out.
Some people have trouble processing things like anger, and so an outlet that is not "threatening" or "shameful", such as entertainment, can help them surface the emotion and the dispel it.
They will feel calmer as a result, of course.

Suppose you have a fair bit of anger bottled up. Then, angry music will allow this anger to take expression through artistic form. This has a relaxing effect.

This explains a lot, actually. My friend comes across as a really happy, positive person, which is why it surprised me when I found out he listens to punk and death metal and such. However, he also had a crappy childhood and has a lot of resentment toward his parents that never really comes out as anger; more like snarky, passive-aggressive remarks. He never seems to get visibly upset about anything. Maybe he does process his anger through the music he listens to.

 

[Showbread]

I'm listening to screamo right now and it's a little bit therapeutic. I've felt like screaming all week. When I'm stressed, or just kind of pissy they stimulation is helpful for me. If I listen to something slow and calming I just feel twitchy, restless, and bored. But if I'm upset, like distraught or emotional I usually like melancholy music.

 

[á´…eparted]

Angry music is never appealing to me. When I am mad listening to something angry just amplifies it and makes it worse. That said when I am angry I do not want to listen to something calm, I will prefer something more intense.

 

[BadOctopus]

Angry music is never appealing to me. When I am mad listening to something angry just amplifies it and makes it worse.

Same here.

When I am angry or stressed, I do prefer slow, calm music. At the end of a stressful day, nothing soothes my frayed nerves as well as one of Mozart's piano sonatas. And maybe a cup of tea. And valium. (Kidding about that last part.)

 

[Tater]

aggressive actions of the subject reinforce the association between anger and angry behaviors, creating a recursive snowball effect that generates more anger. therefore, some ways of achieving temporary catharsis tend to backfire in the long run. however, you can listen to music that resonates with subjective thoughts and feelings (sometimes latent) to provide the external validation necessary to soothe you. when the song stops, you can just carry on without the need to prove your indignation, knowing something else can provide a compartmentalized outlet.

while not directly related, it reminds me of how extraversion is linked to the function of dopamine... some people prefer living a higher octane lifestyle to feel energized and complete.

 

[Yaru]

Almost every kind of music calms me down. But if I'm angry hardcore punk rock helps me vent and relax the best, and melodic metal makes my brain work so much and so fast that exhausts me and calms me down. I used to be able to fall asleep just with that kind of music. And now that I think about it.... I haven't been listening to music at all lately, and that's probably preventing me to sleep now. Thank you, this post reminded me of that. I hopefully will be able to sleep again.
I think that's what happens when you are the daughter of an (ex) heavy metal musician and you are used to fall asleep in your baby carriage while your dad was sliding bottles of beer on his guitar.

 

[Thalassa]

It's essentially because of what they feel at that time. I have noticed when I am hyped up, either in excitement or sexual or anger/irritation I am most likely to enjoy rap music at that time, and I don't like it if I am sad or tired or just peaceful/content. I honestly wonder if men like rap more because of testosterone (like how they're more likely to be vulnerable after sex because of a drop in testosterone).

I like some "angry" music from the 90s because I was a teenager in the later part of the decade and songs like "Plowed" by Sponge, or some songs by Manson or NIN will really do it for me, kind of as a stress relief, because I can be a high energy, high emotional asshole (I am a Sexual dominant in enneagram) so it can help me RELEASE some of my feelings. This extends into the early 00s with some emo/screamo and stuff like System of a Down, because they're very political (and my nephew loves them too!! 111)

But usually when I want to RELAX I will look to an E9 like Lana del Rey who transmuted all of her anger into sex and sadness ("Tired and Horny" was one YouTube parody of her music) and that really works for me. She's my favorite. Like her and Royksopp and The Knife and a few other things, aside from a lot of 80s New Wave and 60s/70s music.

Yes the Grateful Dead is probably more likely to make me feel peaceful than Megadeath, but maybe what your friend was trying to express is that he needs an outlet for his anger. Horror movies actually relax me in some moods while they would disturb or stress me out in others. I think it's about releasing toxic emotions, not introducing them.